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RayaHope's avatar

Should Fluther have a seperate section for all the sexual and lewd acts questions?

Asked by RayaHope (7448points) February 1st, 2023

I believe that this could keep all that creepy and horrible stuff off of the front page and have it’s own section out of the public view for us younger crowd. After-all, the age limit is only 13 and there has been some very gross things said recently. I’m all for free speech but please put it in a little more private place. I’d like to know what you guys think about this.

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19 Answers

Tropical_Willie's avatar

People that post NSFW are suppose to put NSFW in title !

From Guidelines:

“NSFW Questions

Fluther etiquette requires that you mark questions that are “not safe for work” with an “(NSFW)” in the question title. Questions that might not be “work safe” include:

Questions about that rash on your genitals
Questions about your sex life, or sex in general
Questions about pornography

Your questions still need to meet the guidelines for the section in which you post it in, and the question title must still be “safe for work”.”

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I’m sorry you have to see those things. The unfortunate truth is that Fluther is old, and there is no chance of new development being done on the site. The founder has moved on to other work and only keeps this site running out of the goodness of his heart.

If you see something inappropriate, the best thing to do is flag it and let the mods handle it.

LadyMarissa's avatar

Might I suggest that when you see [NSFW] that you STOP reading right there & assume that it’s going to be something that you find offensive!!! Fluther no longer makes changes, so your idea is unlikely to happen.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I agree with everyone that a NSFW tag is enough. I just want to add that even with a new section, it still wouldn’t help. A lot of new members don’t know how sections work and just go for General. I’ve seen questions about Fluther that are in General. You can’t really punish people for putting questions in the wrong category either.

Also a lot of the “inappropriate” stuff are actually in the answers of SFW questions (at least that’s the trend I see), either from the natural flow of the conversation or by someone with ill intention. How do you separate something like that? You can’t mod them either because sometimes people are just having fun and don’t break any rules.

RayaHope's avatar

I had a feeling this was not going to happen, but I guess I just wanted to say something about it with the recent nasty stuff I saw that kinda got me in hot water with the mods. I don’t want to be a party pooper but some stuff just goes way too far and seems so horrendously obscene.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@RayaHope most of us, when facing something we think are inappropriate here, just flag and let the mods do their job. It’s not worth the time getting worked up else you get dragged to their level.

Jons_Blond's avatar

This was asked over a decade ago. It’s not going to happen.

Fluther isn’t really for kids. If you haven’t noticed the majority of users are over 40.

flutherother's avatar

I don’t think so. I think the NSFW tag is usually sufficient. Casting my mind back over the years I can’t say I remember anything that was “horrendously obscene” but that is only my opinion and you are entitled to yours. This site is a reflection of the people who use it and that of course that includes yourself.

longgone's avatar

[mod says] I’m glad you’re bringing this up. It’s good to talk about your discomfort and try to find a solution.

I was pretty young when I first discovered Fluther, and it was fairly easy for me to avoid the threads that seemed too mature for me (but culturally, I guess Europe is more open in general, so I was probably less protected and more desensitized in daily life).

We do our best to keep question titles safe for work and family. I remember the thread you mean, and its title is not obscene. The word “incest” is not obscene, even if many people would agree that the concept is.

I think maybe you need to make a point of steering clear of those questions if you don’t feel good about them? That’s okay. It’s healthy to watch out for yourself like that. In fact, it’s a good skill for all teens and young adults to practice, because as you become an adult, parents and society will be watching out for you less and less. That does not mean you’re required to have a handle on everything – it means you’re trusted to protect yourself. You’ll have to learn how much of the news you can absorb safely, what movies make you uncomfortable, how much (if any) alcohol you can drink safely, etc. I never watch horror movies because I cannot handle those. I get too anxious afterwards. I don’t even tend to listen to true crime podcasts, even though they’re very interesting to me. I’m my own parent now, and I have to tell the impulsive child within me that certain things are just not healthy for my mind. Experiencing what’s too much is part of learning. When I was 18, I watched the movie “Misery” by Stephen King. Yup. Didn’t sleep well for a year, still can’t look at Kathy Bates.

So, I’d advise you to stay away from the vast spaces of internet that aren’t appropriate for you at this stage in your development. That creepy feeling is your guide. Don’t even click on the thread. Unfollow the discussion if it unexpectedly gets too mature. Send us a message if a question title is inappropriate or if there’s no NSFW tag, and wander over to the many parts of Fluther that are perfectly tame. You’re in an environment of adults and you may feel out of your depth at times, but I think as the internet goes, you’ve found a pretty safe corner. The people here tend to be kind and protective of each other. And if anything is making you uncomfortable, let us know and we’ll always try to help.

janbb's avatar

^^ G-d, I love this Mod. What sound advice!

smudges's avatar

As others have suggested, police thyself.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@RayaHope I hope you will read the answer from @longgone. It’s really very good.

I’ve been an adult for a long time. I have to decide for myself what I will participate in and what I won’t. Like @longgone, I do not watch horror films. They genuinely upset me. That’s a decision I made for myself. I don’t read horror books either. I simply don’t want to put that stuff in my brain. I don’t want its energy. It’s unpleasant.

It’s OK to be upset by a post. If you think it’s truly abhorrent, flag it. Let the mods handle it.

There are many unpleasant things in the world. We each have to learn what to participate in and what to avoid. Part of maturing is learning those things.

NoMore's avatar

I agree completely. Unfortunately there are creepers on all sites these days. @longgone offers sound advice .

RayaHope's avatar

I would like to say that I am a little quick to strike when something very wrong comes along and I believe it to be unjust and abhorrently terrible. Some may say I leap before I look, but I think there is no time to look when it is that obvious. I will assume I can use the word “incest” since it has been brought up by the mod @longgone. It’s not just the word that I was protesting which is like rape on steriods since it normally involves helpless children in their supposedly safe home by their supposedly protective parents or relatives. The incest which also happens many times, for years, which is beyond words.
If that wasn’t bad enough, what really pushed me over the edge was how it appeared so many were encouraging this act and giving GA and GQ for this nightmare. Those may have been taken back, but the damage was done and by that time it was too late I had already freaked out.
I know now that I broke some rules and for that I am truly sorry, but this travisty is #1 on my list of horrible things someone entrusted with protection and care can do to an innocent child besides murder.
@longgone, I am gonna try and heed your guiding wisdom and let you know whenever I see something like this again BEFORE I act. I can be impulsive if the right trigger is pushed so I will work on curbing that. My mom says I can be a handful, I guess she’s right.

smudges's avatar

@RayaHope Ok, this is corny, but yeah…you’re a handful of goodness and light. ♡

janbb's avatar

@RayaHope I’m not justifying incest in any way or negating the fact that it triggered you but there are various kinds of incest, it’s not always parent on child. In any case, don’t worry if your reaction “broke rules”, we all react strongly to things at times here; that’s where the mods come in. A good lesson that Fluther can teach is that others in the world may not react to things the same way you do. By the way, I flagged that question too, but I understand why it was not taken down.

You are getting valuable lessons here in the world of adulthood and should probably pay us all for what we teach you! lol

jca2's avatar

@RayaHope Incest can also be between two consenting adults. The common denominator has to be that they are related. That’s the definition of incest – two people that are related by blood. If one of the people is a child, then not only is it incest, it’s also child abuse and statutory rape.

Using the word “incest” on this site is not a violation of any rules.

longgone's avatar

@RayaHope I understand why that upset you. l think it will reassure you to learn that all those GAs and GQs were actually from just one banned user creating multiple accounts. All the accounts have been removed and the lurve adjusted accordingly.

Like @janbb and @jca2 said, please don’t torture yourself by assuming the question referred to child abuse. That was not implied. Incest could refer to half-siblings falling in love as adults, never having known each other as children. It could be about a pair of middle-aged cousins. I don’t think most people would even think of children in this context, but I totally get why you were so freaked out now. If the question had been advocating for legalizing any type of child abuse, it would have been removed immediately.

longgone's avatar

@janbb Aw, you again…!

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