What would you do if your child's teacher kept deliberately mispronouncing your child's last name?

The child needs to start intentionally mispronouncing the teacher’s name.
Combine it with the child no longer responding to the mispronounced name.

I would probably take it as far as I had to, to get the desired result. Incorrectly saying someone’s name, especially when you have been correctly informed, is just extremely disrespectful. I have an odd last name and I have spent a lifetime correcting pronunciation. If someone consistently refuses to get it right, I ignore them.
I know that is not an option for young children, but disrespecting children is no more acceptable.

I’ll keep y’all posted.

The difference in the sound of an “au” and “oh” sound is no big deal to me. Many people mispronounce my last name. All is good as long as I understand what they mean.
In Australia and England they pronounce English words differently from people in the USA. People in the Australia and England never tried to correct my pronunciation of English words and I’d never try to correct their pronunciations.

My first name is a bit odd and I had a boss that kept calling me different names that sorta sounded like my name, but just never got the name right. I started mispronouncing his name and he suddenly figured out my name. It’s pure laziness or just being an ass that the teacher doesn’t pronounce the name correctly. This is all said as a given that the teacher doesn’t have a speech impediment.

Not care so much. That stranger’s lack of class is their problem, not yours. I wouldn’t play into his/her hand.

But it’s THEIR last name @gondwanalon!

It’s their teacher @Acrylic, who they see day in and day out.

I’d pull an Uncle Buck.

@gorillapaws Yes! Nice reference, are you GenX, too?

Seriously @Dutchess_III That’s some bullshit, tell that teacher what’s what. Nicely. Or not.

@KNOWITALL I’m a Millennial, but I get along with GenXers too ;)

How old are they?

If the teacher is otherwise fine, I’d probably chalk it up to ignorance and stop caring. Even if it’s some sort of “statement”...I think it’s probably more important for the kids to learn how to rise above petty stuff like that. Laugh about it at home.

That said, I’m all for protecting kids from any sort of harassment from teachers. If they’re being ignored in class, graded unfairly, etc, speak up. But you want to mispronounce my name…knock yourself out! It can be really empowering for children to learn that nobody can force them to feel angry.

The PTA meeting will be a good opportunity to suss out if the teacher is otherwise unfair to the kids.

Like I said @KNOWITALL next step is the principal.
After that the school board!

GA @longgone. I’ll pass that on to my daughter to suss out.

They are 9 @longgone
Twins.

Aw, they’re so young. Yeah, don’t have them mispronounce the teacher’s name then. With teens, that might work.

They’re not being addressed by their last name, right? It’s just for attendance?

IDK how far he’s digging it in. I think he does it to some of his other students too.

It sounds like it’s going to be taken care of properly. The parent(s) will bring it up to the teacher at the PTA meeting. Hopefully the teacher starts getting it right.

I have a very unusual last name and I’ve spent my life hearing it mispronounced so to me, it’s something I’m used to. Even after I correct people, they still get it wrong. They put a letter into it that’s not there, and there are a bunch of vowels together and people just can’t get it right.

Go to the school principal/superintendent and complain. Write a letter to this person and the teacher. Instruct the child to correct the teacher EACH AND EVERY TIME the incorrect pronunciation is used.
(Always go up the chain of command!)

Teach my child about the “asshole disease”, and explain that teacher is an example of a case of it, and to keep me posted on other misbehavior.

My last name is constantly mispronounced, and it gets very annoying, but people aren’t doing it deliberately, and they usually try to correct it once they know. A classroom situation is much more intense. This seems very hostile and demeaning on the part of the teacher.

Here’s the puzzling part: “the teacher insists that it should be pronounced “Vagler.” Is it really true, not just that the teacher mispronounces it but that he’s telling them THEY mispronounce it and HE says it properly—and he wants to correct them? On what authority does he insist? That should definitely be addressed. These young kids should not be pressured into doubting that they and their parents know how to say their own name.

This is an example of “who gives bleep”!
Just stop making it an issue.

Years ago, I had a guy who kept calling me by the wrong first name. I corrected him once. He kept doing it. I never corrected him again. I didn’t care as this was clearly his issue. Other colleagues would say “why is he calling you Bob?”.
Fast forward 4 years in a conference room full of other engineers when I was changing jobs , my Manager was delegating my job function to other engineers. He was there and at the beginning of the meeting he spoke up and said “wait, aren’t you Bob?”. Needless to say it was hilarious and on him.

My SIL was very upset one year that her son’s new teacher would not pronounce her son’s first name correctly. Actually, my SIL presented it to me as her son was very upset, which I don’t doubt, but I personally think he took the lead from his mom. She named him a name that isn’t easy for some Americans. His name is similar to Giancarlo.

I told her to tell her son to write down for the teacher that his name is pronounced John Carlo, and it should correct it.

That is my advice to you, spell it out phonetically, in writing, or in words she cannot screw up so easily. In your case I would suggest Vogue Ler or even Vogue Lure. He can tell her “Vogue like the Madonna song and the magazine” if he understands those references.

Also, I would say don’t get so upset about it. Both of my last names are screwed up all of the time, I don’t care. I just correct people. There will be a time when that same child has trouble pronouncing a name and he will want that person to not be angry and to help him get it right.

”Their last name is Vogler but for some reason the teacher insists that it should be pronounced “Vagler.” Don’t know why. The kids have asked the teacher to stop, but he won’t ”
To those who have a “meh” attitude about this, it sounds like the teacher is ignoring what the kids have to say about their own identity. The teacher is a person of great authority in the kids’ eyes, and is disrespecting them.

And, @Forever_Free, it is silly to compare your experience as an adult, white, professional man whose first name was mispronounced to that of nine year old children.

^ It just depends. If “insists” here means that the teacher is literally saying “Nope. You’re saying your name wrong.” then sure, talk to the principal.

But most nine-year-olds are not going to be very assertive with a teacher. I think it’s just as likely that they corrected him once or twice, he distractedly said the name properly, and they were too shy to bring it up again the next time he mispronounced it. In that case, the term “insists” is used in a less literal way and refers to the teacher’s behaviour, not words.

@longgone I took @Dutchess_III statement at face value, probably because I experienced it constantly. I got reprimanded and negated often for it (it was the early 60s, things were a little different) but I was deeply frustrated.

@canidmajor Yeah, I totally agree that your experience must have been invalidating. Kids really do often need protection from their teachers. And names are so important.

I was reading the details accounting for the OP’s writing style, knowing that Dutch is good at writing in a way that grabs attention. Said with love! There’s also a bit of an internet trend that takes “insisting” less literally and is often accompanied by a “smh”. Plus, the “Don’t know why.” leads me to believe there has not been much real conversation. Which makes sense, because the kids are so young.

Maybe the people who aren’t so concerned have difficult names and their name is messed up every day. My name is pronounced incorrectly about 80% of the time when people attempt it. Some people never get it right, but most do.

I think the teacher should be making more of an effort, but helping the kid to feel upset or traumatized about it is not the way to go.

Like Nora Ephron’s mom used to say, “everything is copy.” If you try with reasonable effort to correct the teacher and he just cannot do it for some reason, then just think how this story will go when told. “Yeah, remember Mr. Schmidt? He just could not say Vogler correctly.” It becomes a funny story about his inability, it is not about the child.

I don’t know what has been attempted so far to correct the teacher. That is when I go back to spelling it out in well known words or phonetically for him and making sure it is not spelled Vagler on his documents (there could be a typo) that he was given if it is the first day of school, but since we are in February, I am assuming this is well into the school year.

Talking to him is step 1. If you think he’s really doing it deliberately, then talking to the principal is step 2… though if the teacher really is insistent on doing this, most principal’s in the US can’t really do anything. Still, having your boss tell you to do something is a pretty strong thing for most people.

Don’t assume it’s deliberate or malicious unless you really have evidence. It’s probably just someone who is uncareful with their words, and that pronunciation is more natural to them, and they just aren’t putting enough effort into doing it right. One of my friends has certain words he just can’t pronounce right. He can do it if he slows down and forces himself, but never in natural conversation.

Plus, @Forever_Free corrected the person once, which I consider to be funny and mean, but I say mean lightheartedly. He was not upset about the Bob, so it is not a big deal. Probably, that person would have welcomed another correction though. Several people call me Stephanie, and that is not my name. My name is a completely different name. I correct them with a smile. I let them know they are not the only one who has called me Stephanie.

All these excuses from adults about why it’s OK. I know @Dutchess_III and I have years of conflict on this site, but let’s remember that she is also a teacher, with a degree and everything. And experience in the field, elementary if I am not mistaken. She recognizes what is appropriate or not in these situations.
I also have a degree in El Ed, I get how unbalanced the power dynamic is when the kids are that young, and how careful the teachers need to be to maintain the respectful demeanor towards the kids.

I mispronounced the name of a kid in my class. I did that because there was an influx of new students in my classroom at the time that child came so I was having difficulty with names. It went on for a month or two, and no one in the class or outside the class ever corrected me. Not even the kid himself. When I realized I had been calling him the wrong name the whole time, I corrected it and had to explain to the class I was wrong the whole time. No one really minded.

Hope this would add something to the discussion.

@canidmajor You are making @longgone‘s point. It is worth questioning that the child probably has not made a significant effort to correct the pronunciation. The power dynamic in the classroom is of course real.

This teacher might have some sort of mental block about this particular name, maybe he knew a Vagler, I don’t know, but addressing it with a nice attitude is better than going in frustrated and angry. I do think the child’s parent should talk to the teacher and see what the teacher says or equip the child with a better way to correct the teacher. Obviously, the parent should advocate or help their kid.

Foreign children and adults go through mispronunciation of their names as a matter of course. Some of them are just fine with two different pronunciations, they just answer to both, some correct people.

@JLeslie “Foreign children and adults go through mispronunciation of their names as a matter of course.” As with my last name, which is Hispanic. The majority of people mispronounce it, and even when they make an effort to leran the correct pronounciation, they still mispronounce it. After 50 something years, I don’t let it bother me.

I can’t think of my teachers ever saying my last name. Which is good because my last name has 12 letters and most people take one look at it and don’t even make an attempt to say it even though it’s not that hard to say! I had one teacher comment on it because he thought it was interesting and asked how to pronounce it, but other than that, I can’t think of them saying it. It seems weird to me that he’d be deliberately mispronouncing it. Some people cannot get it through their head how to say something correctly. You could correct them ten times and they still wouldn’t get it.

@Dutchess_III Oh the humanity!!!

@JLeslie has an excellent suggestion: what does it say on the teacher’s class list?

Also, is it possible that the teacher is saying “vog” (rhymes with “dog”) and not “vag” (rhymes with “bag”) as the first syllable? Maybe there is a practice of anglicizing names at their school.

I’d be less concerned about the actual mispronunciation.

And more concerned about the intent behind the mispronunciation.

@Jeruba I can see the rhymes with dog happening. Great point.

@Dutchess_III Please let us know the reaction of the teacher when your daughter points out the mistake. Hopefully, he tells your daughter thank you for the correction and apologizes to your grandchild and let’s him/her know it’s ok to tell him if he mispronounces it again.

I fight for my children when they deserve respect.

Ummm, after reading (most) of these answers, I see no one seems to be addressing the elephant in the room. The fact that this idiot teacher is giving ammo to the bullies by mispronouncing the last name. That is rule #1 in making fun of a kid in school in making fun of their NAME! WTF? I say see how well this “teacher” can cut the grass outside if they still want to be employed.

^I thought of that. I am afraid that Vagler will quickly turn into vagina and all its other names; va jay jay, etc.

@chyna Yes that’s exactly why (especially a teacher someone in authority) should NEVER do this. This is the first thing bullies do is pick on a child’s name and make fun of it in a twisted way that can follow them all the way through their school years. Seen it first hand myself and I’m sure many have.