Do you believe you may be an empath?
Asked by
Dig_Dug (
4259)
February 21st, 2023
I know it may not seem that way here but IRL I can be very in tune to what someone else is feeling. Body language and being close to someone and seeing what they are going through is what’s missing here. Even watching a video can invoke so much in me that you’d be surprised how I react. Now I’m not saying I am but I’m not saying I’m not.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/empathy
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37 Answers
No. I would charitably describe myself as a ‘social moron’.
No. Not in the sense of actually being able to feel and experience another person’s emotions.
But I know true empaths with that ability do exist. And depending on how well they’ve learned to balance their own sense of self, their abilities can be a gift – or a curse.
What I am able to do is more ordinary : I can imagine myself in given situations, and feel a degree of sympathy or support for others in similar circumstances.
It keeps me from being a total bitch.
Most of the time.
Most people that I know who call themsleves empaths only say so in an attempt to make themselves seem better than everyone else. Also, they feel what you feel but 100x worse. Your dog died and somehow they are more hurt about it.
Empath is just an attention seeking term. I am a person who has empathy just like the majority of the population. Nothing special about it.
No. I have never even been to Betazed.
No. I’m barely in touch with my own feelings, much less someone else’s.
Empath is a word more appropriately used to describe someone who isn’t you. Sure, you can call yourself an empath, but do other people agree with you?
And there is also the possibility of you not realizing you are an empath because empathy just comes to you so naturally you don’t see anything special about it. Would a truly kind person go out of their way to say they are kind?
It’s the Dunning Kruger effect. Those who have nothing will think they have everything, and those who have a lot will think they have nothing.
@Sergeant Having empathy and being an empath aren’t necessarily the same thing. When I’m with someone and they are very down or sad, I take on those feelings as well. The same goes for someone who is crying in excitement. I’ll start to tear up as well. I have literally cried when someone won a big prize on a game show. I feel their emotions. It’s weird but this does happen to me.
I must be the opposite of one, then.
For example, when I hear a crying baby, I get violently angry, and infanticide suddenly seems like a good idea.
I can sort of tell the moods of certain people here on fluther – excited, giddy, subdued, “watch the hell what you say”, etc. and it’s not simply by what they say…it’s several things. My friends as well – I know when to tiptoe and when I can tease them, even if they appear ‘normal’.
@Jonsblond is right, it’s not as simple as having empathy. It’s being able to sense what someone is feeling, their mood, and it can have an impact on empaths.
Sorry I’ve been “locked out” all day. Somehow my VPN seems to trigger the spam filter and POOF! Too bad I can’t sense that. lol
I expected there be non-believers and like I said, I’m not saying I am one either, but I have had many odd experiences. I could name many video’s that make me cry nearly instantly, someone started to tell me about their cat that past..that’s all they had to say and I was balling like a baby. I recently watched a video about this girl that had epilepsy, (now there’s a long story here that I’m not going into, but it has something to do with why I was watching this video) anyway, as I was watching this the girl started shaking her arm uncontrollably and I looked down and noticed I was doing the same thing.
I was with someone when they got some bad news from a doctor that their loved one had just past away, and I began to cry but also my nose started to bleed. I can mentally put myself into another persons perspective IRL if the situation is right.
I just assume that people in general think the same way I do. And I’m generally right.
And I’m sure you are right! Only a select few have this curse.
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@Mimishu1995 Extreme emotions especially if they’re not even really yours…yeah it can be.
@Dig_Dug so sometimes you are not happy that you are feeling for someone?
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@Dig_Dug If that’s the case, you should look into methods to regulate your emotion like mindfulness. You will be able to keep your empathy and be at peace with your emotion at the same time. No need to suffer from your own empathy, which is a gift by the way.
@Mimishu1995 I am trying. I do work on it and when I think I’m making headway, something seems to happen and I’m no farther along then before.
@Dig_Dug self-improvement is a journey, not a destination. There will be days when you are really moving forwards and there are days when you just fall behind. What matters is your persistence and will.
@Mimishu1995 (((HUGS)))
see now I’m all emotional and I’m a mess…
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Yes I am one and it hurts like crazy.
Does that mean I feel compassion for everyone?
No, absolutely not. I actually feel schadenfreude when predators are harmed. But the reason for that is my extreme empathy for their victims.
@Kraigmo I understand exactly. I am the same, I almost am ashamed to admit that. Until one glance at their helpless victim(s) and then that almost is gone! Skin them alive.
I used to be unable to protect myself from feeling others’ emotions—there were times I’d see someone looking ‘normal’ and start choking back tears, not know what was wrong with me, only to later to find out they were masking their own grief. This has been true as long as I can remember.
I learned a bit ago that those who go through intense childhood trauma often become “empaths,” and it isn’t conscious, nor is it by choice. It’s like, as children, a filter for emotional autonomy is taken away—and we learn to live with that porosity—for better and worse.
I’ve been going through trauma therapy and one way I know it’s working is—I’m not gripped by others’ emotions that much anymore. I can feel them, but am not overwhelmed. Honestly, it’s a great place to be—helps me be less anxious about making others happy.
I do agree with @SergeantQueen and @Mimishu1995—it’s become an overused term used by too many people for whatever reasons and lost its credence, and really can’t be fully self-determined—for the same reasons @SergeantQueen listed.
@linguaphile I’ve also heard that it can stem from trauma. Often as a survival skill. To be able to read the emotions of others before it bubbles to the surface.
I didn’t want to bring up my childhood trauma story. That’s not for here.
@Dig_Dug Definitely not pushing if you’re not ready to share. Just wanted to share how it often develops in response to trauma.
And that working through trauma in therapy can also help with the overwhelm that comes with being overly empathetic.
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