Should I get something for my neighbor for helping me shovel snow?

I think sometimes a warm thank you is more gracious than a gift that makes it feel more like a transaction. I’ve done both; sometimes sent over brownies to my neighbor after he snow blows and sometimes just texted a thanks. His teenaged son and friend will shovel for me if there is a lot of snow (not this year!) but them I will pay.

I would say, first and foremost – reciprocate. Help them when they’re shovelling. But that opportunity may not arise or maybe it’s not equal help.

In which case, sure, why not get them a little something. Doesn’t have to always be a bottle of wine, but a little something would be nice. I wouldn’t say you’re obligated. if I were them, I wouldn’t feel like you were obligated. But it would be nice.

A nice, warm gift for helping you is a sweet thank-you. I would say yes. It doesn’t have to be fancy.

I have brand new neighbors, and this morning they just went ahead and cleared all my stuff. I had given them homemade bread as a welcome, they loved it, so they are getting another fresh loaf today, as a thank you. I like the “something baked” thing, it seems gently reciprocal and appreciative.

I second, third?, the idea of giving them something baked: bread, brownies, or cookies. Make an extra batch and give it to them.
My neighbor gives me chocolates and a small drink of Bailey’s Irish Cream. to warm me up.

I forgot to add my logic of not giving them baked goods, is that the wife just lost a bunch of weight on a diet and so I don’t want to give them something that shuts the wife out, whereas I’m sure liquor drinkers always drink their liquor, no matter what.

I would say no. To me the attempt to pay him would cheapen his gesture. I agree with @janbb that a warm thank-you is best.

If a couple more instances accumulate, then I would say a modest gift, with a nice note, would be appropriate as a general statement of appreciation and not “in exchange.”

Offer some cash. He can get whatever he wants with cash.

I agree with @Jeruba. No to buying a gift. Him helping you was just him being neighborly. Giving him a gift feels so formal and like “okay, now we are even”.

I wouldn’t even bake something specific for the occasion. But the next time you bake, I’d take some over.

Or the next time you see him, invite him over for some tea. :)

EDIT: Oop, just read your comment about the wife going on a diet. You can take them some cozy soup!

It was a nice act of neighbourliness that doesn’t require a gift in return. His knowing that you would help him if required is gift enough. That is how a sense of community is created and you can’t put a price on that.

@raum

“Oop, just read your comment about the wife going on a diet. You can take them some cozy soup!”

Or a gift certificate to a salad bar! ;p

@Brian1946 Do salad bars still exist after the pandemic?

The only one with observable existence from my experience, is the one at Whole Foods in southwest “German Jokes”. ;)

If you bake, I’d consider baking something. It’s a nice neighborly gesture of goodwill. If you don’t bake, beer or wine are nice too. It’s not necessary though I don’t think.

I would say no. This is a simple neighborly act that a thank you should suffice. Next time you see them in a need, go pitch in as well.

@Brian1946 Are there a lot of Germans in Sherman Oaks? Or did I interpret totally incorrectly? Ha.

I think a small token of your appreciation would be very nice to offer them. A simple thank you would even be nice or perhaps you could do something for them sometime? I know you said you’re not real close so I’m not sure what that could be.

@raum Germans comprise a small percentage of our residents, but I heard there are a lot of world-famous German comedians, such as Rudolf Shitler, Albert Seinfeldinstein, and other German Jokesters here in Sherman Oaks, A lot of them hang out at Goldstein’s Kung Pao palace! ;-o

I most likely wouldn’t bother. Especially, if I felt like I might be able to help him one day. 20–30 minutes isn’t really that big of a deal assuming it wasn’t much effort for him. If I helped my neighbor shoveling some snow one day I wouldn’t expect anything. It’s just neighborly.

If you gift then you start up the whole gift back and forth thing. I personally try to stay away from that.

If he shoveled the snow a lot of days throughout the winter it would be different.

Not that I think it’s bad to show your appreciation with a gift if you feel so inclined.

If you had asked him to help you shovel, I’d say you should do something. Since he volunteered, I see it as his gift from the heart. He wasn’t obligated to help you, but “chose” to do so. I have 1 neighbor who is great for offering to help me when I need it most. She did a really HUGE favor for me about 2 years ago. I tried to do something back for her to say thank you & she got butt hurt because she said I was taking away her good deed & the blessing that she’d receive for doing something helpful. I then asked her if she was sure & once she responded that she was positive, I gave her a heartfelt thank you & told her exactly what her gift had meant to me. She left smiling ear to ear.

The one thing that I’ve learned with my neighbors is that the ones who help do it from the heart & the ones who don’t help don’t give a rat’s ass that I needed help. There are a few good people left in this world & it’s sad that we can’t just accept them at face value & feel obligated to do something to pay them. I can bet that as much as he appreciated the wine the last time, he didn’t help this time just for another bottle of wine. He sounds like a really good & thoughtful neighbor!!!

Nothing says “thank you” like a moderately priced bottle of bourbon, along with some cookies.

@bob_ Not a sandwich???

@janbb Sandwiches are more of an “in the moment” thing, no? It’s not like the bourbon could go stale.

No, but make sure he knows you will welcome his call for help if needed.