Do you think my friend is being used (details inside)
I have a friend who has an Esty shop. Let’s call her A. There is another friend of mine who is her partner, let’s call her B. The Esty shop was A’s idea and it was created under A’s account and is connected to A’s bank account. As far as I know, the shop sells colorful holiday-themed stickers and what I can only describe as on-demand birthday videos. Apparently B is in charge of the stickers and A is in charge of the videos. B designed all the stickers herself. I heard from B that A makes videos alongside her mom.
I have been in contact with B extensively and I have always felt odd about their money matter. B told me that A’s videos were doing well, but she didn’t share a single penny with her. At first both of us thought A wanted each of them to get our own money from the things they were in charge with, which was weird to me but could be reasonable if done right. B is a minor and has told me multiple times that she couldn’t open her own shop because she doesn’t have a bank account, so I could be fine with the idea that A was lending her the shop and she could manage her things as if this was her own shop.
But just some time ago I received a message from B. She said that the money for the stickers were in and A wanted to split it in half. This went against our earlier hypothesis and B was confused and distressed. I asked B to ask A if the money for the videos should be split too. B did just that, and it was revealed to her that the videos were designed by A’s aunt and uploaded by her mom, so the only money that A could share with B was the money from the stickers.
I was truly infuriated to hear that. If A wasn’t allowed to share the money, then why didn’t she tell anyone earlier? After all B is A’s partner, so she is allowed to know every detail about the business and the money. I have been suspecting this before, and now I’m convinced that B has been taken advantage of the whole time. A wants all the glory for herself and this is just a lame excuse not to pay her partner fairly.
What do you think about this?
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4 Answers
I think your friend is being used. However, in times past, lots of young people were hired as apprentices. They got only a tiny wage, paid directly to their parents. It was considered useful training they should pay for.
I don’t know how employment works there, but maybe A’s thinking is along those lines.
@Patty_Melt yeah, apprenticeship is still a thing in my country. I’ve seen this most prominently in the makeup and hair industry. The trainee has to pay and the work is considered some kind of class. Not sure about other field though.
But I would be more accepting of all the odd behavior if she had been transparent about everything in the beginning. A attempted to get me involved in the business and at one point even added me to a chat group alongside B. And nowhere in our conversation did she ever say about apprenticeship, or the money conditions. She was all like “hey, I have this idea of starting a shop. Want to join me?” Her language didn’t give out any clue of the power dynamic either. So naturally anyone would assume this was an equal partner relationship.
There has also been an incident of inequality where A paid for ads for the videos but not for the stickers, so I have been doubting A’s true intention for a long time. A lot of weird things were only revealed later on as they worked together like how A wanted B to design everything.
I would have no issue with A if right at the beginning she said “hey, I’m starting a shop and I want an apprentice to help me around and earn experience. Do you think you can take this position?”
Not to mention I even doubt the mom story is real, because A has a habit of coming up with excuses for her choices when confronted. I’ve seen it first-hand when I offered feedback for her ideas and heard her justifying why she was right.
It does sound as if A is taking advantage. I do know from my own Etsy shop that the fees and shipping are pretty expensive, but this is over and above those fees.
Now that B is aware of how A works, she could ask for a written contract from here on out. Nothing fancy, but just so it is a known fact how much B can expect from the sales of this shop.
(I ultimately closed mine as the fees and shipping were leaving me with less than I had in my items)
Yes, A is being taken advantage of. I agree about the idea of a contract, but it’s a bit late for that.
Does A have the guts to stand her ground and insist on a contract?
Even if there is a signed contract, how would it be enforced?
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