Why am I having a harder time regulating my mood after I stopped drinking?

Eat chocolate. I’m not kidding. I’m a sober alcoholic. One of the first things we tell newly sober people is to eat chocolate.

And congratulations!

That’s fantastic that you stopped drinking!

Since alcohol affects mood, it’s not surprising you might have some mood swings.

I’m not sure why you stopped the Zoloft, but coming off of it might affect your mood too.

Have you changed your consumption of caffeine at all? That could cause some moodiness.

Are you substituting something else? Exercise, a hobby, some other activity. A lot of addicts start smoking when they quit alcohol or drugs, but I have friends who put in healthy habits, which seems much better. AA meetings is another option.

Do you take the pill? Some pills affect mood. I took a triphasal for three months and it was terrible. Went back to the same dose 21 days and was perfectly fine again.

I stopped Zoloft as I felt there was no point in taking a pill then getting drunk 2 hrs later.

My new addictions are lego sets and Manga.

No change in caffiene, not on the pill.

And it is funny you mention chocolate as I have been craving it a ton.

I went through something similar when I was diagnosed with PTSD. I had to give up my old coping mechanisms because they were unhealthy, but it took time to develop new ones. That in-between phase when you are relearning how to navigate life is difficult. It can be awkward and embarrassing, and it can sometimes feel hopeless. But coming out on the other side made everything worth it.

Also, chocolate is great.

Thank you. It feels very hopeless right now and I desprately want to drink, just to see if i can drink normally but also because I miss it

Alcohol is typically derived from the fermentation of “sugar crops,” like sugar cane, beets, corn, etc. You may have seen YouTube videos of monkeys, or squirrels drunk from eating old/fermented fruits. Glucose/sugar is important for most lifeforms’ survival. So. It’s going to be something that all animals desire. The solution that is Alcohol’s main ingredient is ethanol.
In addition to Alcohol being a product of sugar, most alcohol intended for human consumption, has lots of sugar added. Sweet taste also helps conceal the taste of alcohol. As any bartender, or man knows. Girls like sweet alcoholic beverages. Why is this important? Men (not all, but those in search of “easy” prey)prefer the company of the lesser sexually inhibited version of a girl, than the less gullible sober chick. If a guy is buying a female sweet liquor beverages, he likely is working on getting her drunk. The sweeter the beverage, the more of it a girl is likely to want to drink. Bars want men. But. They need women to get men. That’s why bars frequently have specials on sweet alcoholic beverages.
It is said that a girl who drinks “drinks her calories, not eat them.” I don’t care what the stats say. I have been a man, and a bouncer for enough time to see this saying hold true.
The popularity of fruity beverages with low calories, is not accidental. It’s a thinly veiled attempt at keeping women sloshed.
So. When people are addicted to alcohol, they are also addicted to sugar. That is why people crave chocolate, or other sweet things, when not drinking.
Suggestion. I used to drink these sweet carbonated beverages with zero sugar, when I was recovering. The ones I drank were available in the flavored water sections of grocery stores, and were only $1 a bottle. I was used to not just drinking alcohol, but the habit of frequently sipping a beer during sporting events, or in social situations. Having something satisfying both my cravings for sugar, and my habit of constantly drinking something helped. Give it a try.
I can’t speak on the PMS subject. But. I know chocolate helps that too.

We’ve all been used. We’ve all been slaves to something. It is what it is. However. Wouldn’t it be nice to know that you aren’t a slave to a bottle, or being used? I can tell you that 99% of people who stop drinking have no interest in never drinking again. But. That is the smartest way to go, for most. If you can keep it self moderated, you may prefer that. But. The longer you go without drinking, the more you see it for what it is. A trap, for lesser minds…
Personally. I always thought I was doing fine, when I led my old life. Looking back on some of the things I did, it’s clear that I was a terrible person. Not intentionally. But alcohol leeds to worse decisions than sexual indiscretion. (Although that’s pretty fucking bad.) My impaired judgment led me to drive drunk, fight, or engage in other reckless behavior. It’s no fun having a girlfriend who drank either. Spending all night keeping your girl out of trouble and carrying her over your shoulder back to our place was a blast.~
Worst of all. I could never trust a girl who drank, to be faithful. Trust is essential in any relationship. I always had to hide my lifestyle from the girls I truly desired, because they didn’t approve of it. Well. I lost some great opportunities because of that. Opportunities that would have eventually led to me having a much happier life, with a soul mate, and children. I had some apocalyptic soul mates, that were fun, but never rewarding long term, always leaving me worse going than when I got involved with them. Children. It’s certainly possible. Long story. Well. And several short stories…

Anyways. SQ. I know you haven’t had the easiest life. Running the gauntlet of life with bottles tied to your legs makes it even more difficult. And although it’s definitely harder to stay the course you are currently charting. It will be vastly more rewarding, and provide you the life you so obviously deserve.

I’m not the smartest person in the world. But. It doesn’t take super intelligence to see that you are capable of greatness.

For what it’s worth.

I believe in you…

The alcohol probably dulled your emotions, which is what you were craving. Now that you aren’t turning to this crutch anymore, your feelings appear stronger and maybe more urgent. Which, of course, makes you crave alcohol again. I think that’s why recovering alcoholics are cautioned about HALT; not letting themselvses get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

I’d encourage you not to go through this alone. You’re experiencing a medical issue. There are real things happening with regards to addiction on a neurobiological and physiological level. The addiction is not your fault. You deserve support.

Rooting for you! That’s a very good choice you made.

@SergeantQueen “just to see if i can drink normally”. From all you have told us, you can’t. That voice is just the drink speaking, Things will get better. The first three weeks are the worst.

All good suggestions above. I have nothing else to add, but wanted to congratulate you.

Try joining AA – either in person or online. You will find support there which is what you need.

I know a lot of people that are attendees of AA. For some it’s like a whole culture, which of course you can be a part of or be less a part of. Some groups have picnics and things like that, and the members are like a group of friends. They support each other so well, and if one feels like drinking, they will embrace that person, figuratively, and try to get them to a meeting to alleviate the urge.

There is a relationship to alcohol and Zoloft and mood. Getting off SSRIs is no joke. Good for you getting off both. It is my opinion that suddenly dropping the Zoloft is causing most of your issues. You’re supposed to ween yourself off of it slowly. Do not drink alcohol while on this stuff. The alcohol is behind you now. Give it time, you’ll level out.

My recommendation is to see a psychiatrist who specializes in mood disorders, and not get medical advice here on the Fluthers.

I completely agree with @Caravanfan.

I was thinking since you were prescribed Zoloft that maybe you saw a psychiatrist recently?

Do you have insurance that will cover some outpatient treatment? It could be very helpful. When I worked in outpatient addiction they had all sorts of help with anger management, evaluated mood disorders, therapy, and it was an all around helpful program to address individual needs along with the addiction.

As others mentioned you can do AA on zoom or in person if you ever feel lonely or the urge to drink.

@SergeantQueen I hope you will go to AA. I have been sober a very long time, and AA helped me stop. Long-term therapy helped me get to the roots of why I drank alcoholically. The assistance of both has been instrumental in helping me build a life I truly love.

Congrats!! It’s going to take a minute emotionally and physically, so be gentle with yourself please. Hugs!

A doctor would be your best source of information and help with this. I know that doctors are helping me with my issues. I wish you good health and I am so happy you are staying sober, I know you can do this. Please seek the help, it is there for you! :)

Chocolate raises serotonin in your body, but beware of eating it before bedtime It can be more potent than having a cup of coffee. A bad night’s rest can make you even moodier in than you already are.
I love chocolate but stay away from it always in the evening.
Have you tried an AA meeting? When I quit smoking (which unfortunately I got back to smoking, long story) I had the longest time staying quit after going to a smoking cessation group. It really does help to have others in the same boat as you going through the same struggles. I would be so happy for myself and others in our support group. The only bummer about smoking cessation is after a few months the group dissolved and when you run into stresses that make you want to pick up a cigarette again. Like the city continuing to destroy the land on the new home you purchased, than you don’t have that support.

People often think they can handle something on their own because to ask for help makes them weak. The strongest and best thing one can do when going through difficult time is look for support.
Best of luck. I have two family members in my family I wish would stop drinking. Alchohol really does hurt yourself and all those that love you.

I would also recommend exercising. That keeps you busy, gets energy out, and can be addictive.

I do not have the interest nor ability in attending AA. I have looked into it plenty, group stuff is not my thing. Despite my oversharing online, I am private in person.

Obviously, I am not trusting you guys as medical professionals so no need to worry. I am going to go to a doctor.

Hi @SergeantQueen! I was gone when you wrote this, but wanted to stop by and leave some words of encouragement. I’m so proud of you…you have no idea. I and others who have been through what you’re going through can so appreciate your efforts and inner strength!

Your moods are wonky because alcohol messes with them, kind of subdues or numbs them. When you stop drinking, those moods and emotions come back full strength.

For some people, your anxiety actually comes before alcohol. About 3.1% of the U.S. population is affected by generalized anxiety disorder, according to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America. If you’re feeling nervous about being in a social setting, you may pour yourself a glass of wine to self-regulate any stress.

It makes sense why people reach for a drink as a stress reliever. As alcohol is a sedative and depressant, it can relieve feelings of fear and anxiety in the moment. But after the alcohol wears off, you can start to feel your anxiety come back even stronger. This can become a cycle where you become dependent on alcohol.

Here’s a link to a well-respected source for medical info in general and alcohol specifically:
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/emotional-hangover-why-alcohol-can-give-you-anxiety/

Lifering Secular Recovery (LSR) is what helped get me free from alcohol and drugs – just realized it’s almost 20 years now. I used online meetings/chats and an email group for almost 2 years – that’s all, nothing in person. If you want support, that might be something to try. Tbh, I couldn’t stomach AA/NA for several reasons, and they’re not for everyone. Here’s a link to LSR’s faqs, and one to the email groups.

I believed that you would eventually quit; it was just a matter of time. 8)

https://lifering.org/lifering-recovery-menu/faqs/

https://lifering.org/email-groups/

Thank you. I am back on day 2. Day one was April 10th.

Had a mental breakdown but ended up throwing away every single alcoholic drink I owned, and poured every bottle down the drain.

Probably over $300 worth.

I am starting over again.

^The longest journey begins, with but a single footstep. Journey well SQ. I believe in you.

@SergeantQueen It’s a battle, with many skirmishes.
I’m still proud of you, because you keep trying. Do you have someone you can call that will talk you down? It’s honestly one of the best parts of AA, but you have several here, including me, if needed.

No, nobody I can call.

I had more than a couple “Day 1’s”. It happens. When a seemingly unresistable urge would strike, I’d go to an LSR chatroom, and if one wasn’t meeting, I’d go to the email list and start reading stuff. Or I’d write of my own struggles, just to get that shit out rather than letting it run circles in my head.

Awesome that you poured it out! I found out that I couldn’t have any in the house…too easy to give in, sometimes when I was feeling bad, but surprisingly, more often when I was feeling good. It hurts to lose that money, but you didn’t really lose money, you gained courage and strength! One time I had ordered a ton of pills that shipped from Australia. I had told a friend, and when they finally came, she made me flush them. $600 worth. Ah well, better in the toilet than in my stomach.

Thanks for trusting us enough to come back and tell us. We’ll always be here and will never judge you – just like LSR and AA. I do hope you’ll hook up with one or both of them. I completely understand about not wanting to or being unable to go to in-person meetings. I didn’t either, but was forced to quite a few times either because I was in a residential program or because my therapist/s said I had to.

Stay sober, stay sane. 8)

@SergeantQueen I’m really, really proud of you for jumping right back on the train to a healthier life! And super impressed that you’re so determined, pouring all the alcohol out. You’re strong and you’re getting stronger with every day you do this. Every single time you manage to deal with difficult circumstances or emotions without alcohol, your brain is rewiring itself. The new pathways are becoming wider and easier to use, while the old ones will eventually be overgrown with brambles.

I still think getting some help would be the best course of action, but meanwhile, I wanted to share two coping ideas:

1) This interactive self-care guide, to be used whenever you’re beginning to feel unstable or even at set times during the day.

2) A self-soothing box for distress (definitely include earplugs, decent ones like the “Loop” brand, if possible).

Those are awesome links, @longgone! I’ve already favorited them.

Thanks so much@all

Day 10 now and back to tea and chocolate.
Same @ favoriting the links.

^^ This made me smile today, which otherwise wouldn’t have happened. 8)

btw, the longer you go without, the better you’ll feel, physically, and more importantly for me anyway, psychologically. One day in therapy when I’d been clear-headed (hate the word sober) for at least 5 months, I started to cry out of the blue because I just felt so good and it was a new springtime outside and I could see a future. I told my therapist, and then she cried too.

@SergeantQueen You’re awesome! I can’t even imagine how wise you’ll be at 50 or so, with everything you’re learning already. We’ll be able to shut Fluther down and just refer all questions to you.

@smudges Aw, what a lovely story. Made me smile. And thanks – your responses on this thread are excellent!