Which is worse, not having any money to give when a loved one needed it or now having money but that loved one had passed away?

I don’t see the comparison. It’s sad to be unable to help someone you care about, and sad to lose them. Being able to afford it now doesn’t make it better or worse. But having the money now is not in itself a bad thing.

Which is worse? Giving the money away.

Not having it to give when they needed it.

Absolutely not having it when it was needed.

I think this is one of those rare cases where “it is what it is” applies.

The scenario where your loved one is dead is worse, unless they were suffering or something.

Option one, because we’d be poor. However, just because we have the funds doesn’t guarantee you access if you find yourself falling short, no more than me having a car makes me your personal chauffeur whenever you need a ride.

This question hits me hard. While I was taking care of my mom for 4 years, I really didn’t have any spare money. Meanwhile, I had two siblings who were quite well off who, because they didn’t have power of attorney to spend my mom’s money, and she had dementia and wasn’t able to make the decision for herself, she was denied home health care that could have improved her quality of life at least for a while and allowed her to stay at home a bit longer, which was always her wish. It wasn’t until the last possible moment that they discussed getting more help in the house, as her needs were too great for me to be able to physically handle on my own and none of them were helping. At that point it was too late because some of her other health issues meant that she had to go into long-term care for the last part of her life and not get to stay at home longer. It always makes me sad that if I had had the money I would have helped. It might not have left me in the best position financially, but I would have done so, if only to allow her to stay in her home longer. And yet those who had money to help would not. So I’ll go with the first option.

It totally depends. You and I probably have different answers.