List funny comeback one liners that you have to your boss or teacher?

I had a boss who was always saying that we were going to have a short meeting, which invariably turned into a long meeting. One time when he made his usual announcement, I just said, “I have heard that before”

What are these things you call Bosses? :)

I was working in a 7-physician office; 5 of them were 7th Day Adventists and were the original founders of the highly regarded practice. One, Dr. B, was Chief of Staff at a large hospital nearby. I was the laboratory tech. I had several machines, one was very large and needed its own special water supply, so there was a large tank kept in a closet with hoses leading to the machine.

remember…religious bosses

One day I walked into the lab and the head boss was just leaving the closet after looking at the water system – he was interested in stuff. I said, “Hi Dr. B, coming out of the closet?”

He didn’t say anything. I’m sure he didn’t think it was funny. I thought it was hilarious, but didn’t laugh.

Not a boss or a teacher, a coworker.

True story: When I moved from VT to TN, I got culture shock. One day I was working in Vanderbilt Hospital in the lab, and there was a conversation about ‘yankees’. the south is still fighting the war. This guy said, “Yankees are like hemorrhoids…they come down, they’re a pain in the ass, and they won’t go back up.”

I said, “Yeah, but you notice they only bother assholes?”