Are you a forgiving person?
Asked by
jca2 (
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)
May 16th, 2023
I know some things are easier to get over than others, but in general, are you a forgiving person?
Are you more compelled to forgive if the offense was done by a family member?
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26 Answers
I think I am a forgiving person, but I have my limits.
I forgive quickly, I don’t even get offended, upset, or angry very much, I give people a lot of leeway to make mistakes. I realize sometimes people have no ill intent, but they wind up hurting me, and I think intent matters, but there are limits to that too.
I try to put myself in the other person’s place to let go of any anger. I also remember than I have made mistakes too, and I want to be forgiven.
My limits would be causing extreme harm to someone like sexual abuse, murder, extreme neglect, anything in the extreme I might not find it in me to be forgiving. I also am not too forgiving of people who hold onto grudges for a long time (months and years) when it really is over nothing major. especially, when they hold grudges against family members. Maybe I can forgive them, but it changes how I think about them, and I don’t trust them. I am not talking about when family members do truly horrible things, that is a different story and unfortunately that does exist.
Of course, it’s a wonderful gift we’ve been given.
Ephesians 4:32
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Mark 11:25
And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Matthew 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Matthew 18:21–22
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Generally, yes. Generally I take the view that “what’s done is done” and don’t think about it going forward.
However, I don’t forget. I may forgive a person, but I won’t forget his/her actions in the future.
Forgiving? No. Understanding? Generally.
An apology must be offered, in order to respond with forgiveness (to me.)
And I definitely am somewhere in @elbanditoroso ‘s line of thinking. I’ll always remember people who cross me. That will never go away…
Forgiveness is about releasing yourself more than it is about the other person. Example: My ex-wife was a living nightmare. She did anything and everything to make my life miserable, to turn the kids against me, etc. But I can’t control her…I can only control myself. If I get angry and harbor ill-will against her (no forgiveness), it eats at me. She doesn’t feel anything at all. But I can forgive her for all the strife she caused in everyone’s life. I’m not saying it was okay that she did it, just that I’m not giving it any more power over me.
Context is everything, definition is important, too.
In general I think I am. We can move on. But I can’t force myself to forget. My brain won’t let me.
Forgiving yes but not forgetful !
It depends on the relationship and the issue, but generally no. I take responsibility for my words and actions and expect the same from other adults.
My family gets far more passes than friends.
Forgiveness is a concept used by those in power to lessen the blow of whatever terrible thing they did.
“We dumped toxic chemicals into your river, but please remember to forgive!”.
A possible epitaph…
“All are not forgiven
even though
all is now forgotten.”
Yes. Forgive and forget. Life is to short to hate on people.
I don’t forgive blindly.
If the perpetrator is genuinely sorry and apologizes then I will consider forgiveness.
If someone refuses to apologize then they don’t deserve to be forgiven. I’m not going to forgive them anyway just because I want to feel good.
I forgive to enable me to move forward.
No, and I don’t forget.
Minor stuff I usually let slide.
I would say I have a forgiving nature but it has its limits and though I don’t hold a grudge some things I cannot forget.
No way, OJ!
I hold onto grudges like Sagittarius A holds onto accreted matter!
Word up, hosers: DO NOT ever cut in front of me in the TJBM thread!
JK- I was channeling Ronni Swansonzonski. ;p
It doesn’t matter who offended me, I forgive, an I do it easily. But I nevertheless confuse trust with forgiveness.
Oops, it’s too late to fix the typo. It’s a combination of not using my reading glasses and spell check- a bad combination!
I never confuse trust with forgiveness!
I shall hold my grudges beyond the heat death of the universe.
I definitely believe that you need to forgive people, but that’s as much as for your own mental well-being as anything, along with my religious beliefs. But just because you forgive somebody, doesn’t mean you have to trust them to the same extent again.
@Incoherency_ I don’t even see you in TJBM to begin with anyway :D
It might sometimes take me a while or to think the situation through. I do usually forgive, but of course I don’t forget, and it doesn’t mean I’m going back.
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