Why do some consider it embarrassing to dine at a restaurant alone?

After moving out on my own I found it hard to go out on my own. Now I find it liberating to be able to change my mind at a moment’s notice without discussing with others.

I still prefer to order out with DoorDash and Instacart.

I don’t think most people find it embarrassing, I think some people find it uncomfortable or lonely.

My guess is most people don’t eat in a restaurant alone until their late teens or 20’s, so it can be a new experience, and not something they grew up doing. Most young people, even young adults, don’t like being solo, of course there are exceptions.

To me I compare it to people who won’t go on the dance floor without having had an alcoholic drink, or people who have to have a glass in their hand at a social gathering. If they have their phone to play on they will probably be ok sitting alone at a restaurant. Caroline didn’t have a smart phone. I don’t need any of those things, but I do remember some of the first times eating alone and I had to get used to it.

In fine dining some might assume the waiter is annoyed you are just one.

I don’t consider it embarrassing at all.
I however know people who won’t do it. Just like they won’t go the movie theatre alone.
Yes, humans like to be in a group or at least with a partner in crime.
Such an odd stigma.

I go to a restaurant alone all the time. Usually, it’s when I travel on business, but also at home when I feel like going out. It has never bothered me one way or another.\

Occasionally a restaurant will try to seat me near the kitchen (not a great space where the door opens all the time) or near the exist – I push back. A singled person should not be relegated to the lousier locations.

Women may feel less confident about eating alone – I’m not a woman so I can’t say for sure – but it may have to do with the perception that they will be ‘hit on’ or bothered by people. Or it may have to do with a feeling of people thinking “where is her companion?”.

I think that was a significantly more serious issue before women became so active in business travel. I’m not sure how ‘real’ it is in 2023.

If I remember correctly Caroline is from a small town in the midwest living in NYC. People in the city would be very accustomed to seeing people eat alone, but in small town USA it might be less common at a table. You would see it at “lunch counters.” I say less common, but certainly not nonexistent. Also, small local restaurants you would maybe know the waitresses and not feel alone. Fine dining probably feels like a date-night atmosphere.

@Forever_Free I recently had a friend searching for someone to go to the theater with (live theater) she said she wouldn’t go alone. She would rather skip the show than go alone. I go alone. I like going with someone, but going alone is fine too.

I’ll go to the movies alone, no problem. I’ll go to a cheaper restaurant alone, like a diner, no problem. An expensive restaurant, I would probably feel uncomfortable. Not because I am afraid I’ll be hit on, not because I care if the waiter is mad he won’t be serving two people, just because I might feel funny without anyone to talk to. I am not one to sit at a table and look at my phone while I eat. I may give it a glance or two but not sitting there strolling and strolling and texting. If I’m eating, I don’t want to get food on the phone.

Just my opinion. It may not seem logical to some. I say feelings are not always logical, so you can say “jca2, that’s not logical!” but it’s my feeling and it is what it is.

If it’s a quick bite to eat, for lunch I’ll do it, but I would feel weird dining out at a nice place by myself. As for why? Maybe I’ve been trained to feel that way by social norms and from pop culture films and show like the very scene you’re describing.

I don’t know how old the writers were, but it might be a throwback to the days when it was a sin for a woman to go out by herself. There were a few generations where only prostitutes went out to eat by themselves. Actually, there were generations where women were not allowed to go out by themselves for any reason…not even for a walk around the block. As far as restaurants went, no self respecting woman would admit that she was too lazy to cook for her family. Also, back then, people didn’t have a lot of money to eat out; so women went to the garden & cooked every day.

In the town where I grew up, people looked at a woman sitting alone in a restaurant like she had grown a third head. Personally, I enjoy eating alone & see nothing wrong with it.

I’m sure my feelings about doing anything alone come from childhood when I was extremely insecure. I just knew that if people saw me doing something alone – especially eating or being at the movies – they would think I was pathetic because I must not have any friends. Therefore, I was a loser, period, and even strangers knew it. I don’t think I outgrew that and went to a restaurant or movie by myself until my late 40s. Even then, at restaurants I brought a book. I’m much better, but sadly, some of that feeling lingers. It’s very hard to get rid of ghosts that have been around since childhood. I’m sure some of you have no idea what I’m talking about – trust me, you’re lucky – because most of us have at least one bad ole ghost.

It’s not really embarrassing but I don’t do it, myself.

I used to be self-conscious about eating alone in a restaurant. Didn’t want everyone to think I was a lonely guy, with no friends or relatives to eat with. Now that I’ve traveled enough for work etc. and had to eat alone, I don’t worry about that very much.

If I’m staying in a hotel I tend to be more likely to take the food to go and eat it up in my room, where I can relax and put on comfortable clothes and just chill out. That type of meal is not likely to be an expensive one, not Michelin stars, just either a diner, steakhouse or fast food.