NSFW What would you think about an 83 year old woman having a sexual relationship with a 29 year old man?

I feel the same way as Pacino and a 29 year old. It’s shallow, disgusting and wrong once children are in the picture as a result. It’s horribly unfair to them.

@Blackwater_Park but since an 83 year old woman is not getting pregnant, as detailed by the OP, what do you think then?

@jca2 A little less disgusted, but only marginally so. I suppose it’s possible for real love/caring to be there but that would be an exceedingly rare occurrence. Age gaps like this are overwhelmingly going to be shallow relationships. I’m all for letting people do what they want, but I reserve the right to be judgemental. We all do it, I’m just going to fess up to it.

I don’t think i would want some hot stud muffin to see my old saggy body. Crepe skin is real, people.

I think the honest affection aspect is even less common when the woman is much older. Gotta wonder if Cher’s 36 YO paramour would be interested if she wasn’t Cher, with all the attendant celebrity and wealth.

I would be seriously sleeved out by the idea of being with someone young enough to be be grandchild.

I think it’s kind of gross but if they’re two consenting adults and she (the elderly woman) has all her marbles, my only other concern would be that the guy is looking for money. I would wonder with all the fish in the sea, can this guy not find one a little closer to his age, maybe a 20 year difference if he is into older women?

It’s less common to have relationships with older women and younger men, and usually, when there is, there’s not such a big disparity.

My mother married a man that was five years younger. That’s a fairly minor age difference.

My aunt married a man that was about 15 years younger and he took her to the cleaners, as we suspected he would. She thought he was wonderful, and then he cheated, and when they got divorced he got half her pension and a bunch of other financial benefits, whereas when she met him, he was financially not well off at all.

I’m thinking about celebrity couples – Mary Tyler Moore’s husband was younger, I’m not sure by how much. He was and maybe still is a doctor.

They’re two consenting adults.

Sorta strange, but not my business.

What would I think. Ewww.
Same either way.

It’s none of my business what consenting adults decide to do behind closed doors. If they’re happy, then I wish them all the best.

ooo – ICK!

I’d say it’s their business.

BTW Harold and Maude is perhaps my favorite movie, if not for that reason.

Let’s be honest…anytime a young person in their prime is attaching themselves to someone that is double or triple their age, it usually is for money. The chances of the younger being sexually monogamous with the older person is slim and none.

I typically don’t care though. Since it is not my life, I’m not making decisions for it.

I actually considered this (or some variation of this) with your last question.

What if the genders were switched? What if money wasn’t an issue? How did they meet?

And I think what I came to was that I’m more uncomfortable with power dynamics. Age and money can affect that dynamic. But ultimately, I think it would depend on each case.

I see it as THEIR business & I don’t care as long as they don’t ask me to watch!!!
I felt the same on the Al Pachino Q. It’s NOT anything that I’d choose to do; however, he didn’t ask me to have his baby!!!

@raum Makes sense. FWIW, I’m not saying it shouldn’t happen or that I would say anything to anyone but I’m questioning my inner critical voice a bit. And I think the possibility of a power and money imbalance is part of it but otoh, if no one is deceiving anyone, does that necessarily matter?

I’m also trying to tease out the sexist feelings that a woman should still have her looks while an older man, particularly one with money and power, doesn’t have to.

As long as they are happy, why on earth would it matter. I’m 80 and my husband is only 72. Everyone thought is was unconventional when we married, he was only 24 and I was 32.

@seawulf575 Interesting logical construction you used there:

Let’s be honest . . . any time A . . . usually B

Hmm.

NONE of my business, and as long as they are consenting adults have at it.
Have a friend that married a women 17 years older and they have been together for well over twenty years now.
NOT my business.

I’m OK with it as long as they don’t plan to have children, but please, keep it behind closed doors. Really, I don’t want to know about it.

As I told my 7th Day Adventist boss during a discussion – “Love is love, doesn’t matter if it’s a man and woman, 2 men, 2 women, love for nature, love of animals…if it’s true and pure who is anyone to tell someone it’s wrong.”

No worse than the Eastwoods and Pacinos of the world getting in with women young enough to be a grand daughter. If men can do it so can women. No reason for that crap to be gender exclusive.

What business is it of mine?

I think my wife is one fine looking succubus, and draining the life energies of young studs has really benefited our marriage! :-0

@Zaku Yes, if you take it out of context and drop the rest of the statement it becomes confusing. Nice try though.

^^ Out of context or not, I noticed that right away.

…anytime a young person in their prime is attaching themselves to someone that is double or triple their age, it usually is for money.

That’s an out and out generalization.

Considering how you tend to be convinced that women, in general, cheat, @seawulf575, you can’t be surprised that people are remarking on your silly generalization.

https://www.fluther.com/236052/in-the-us-should-paternity-tests-be-mandatory-and-paternity-fraud/

Not my personal thing.

I had a brief thing with women in their late 20’s early 30’s, when I was 18 years old. That’s a fair distance, though not extreme.
Those “older” girls were good hunting for a young guy who had very uncomplicated wants of life at the time.

Only a couple “relationships.” But. I wasn’t trying to make lifelong memories exactly…

When this subject was raised I thought of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore…

Again. As far as others. Not my business…

@smudges okay, it’s a generalization. Give me examples of a 29 year old that is with an 83 year old when money is not a factor. I’ll wait.

@canidmajor And in typical fashion, you believe they don’t and so you will never see reality.

No, @seawulf575, I said nothing about what I do or don’t believe, I merely pointed out why your generalization lacked credibility with some posters on this thread.

@canidmajor Go back and look at the thread you posted from my other question. I never said that women, in general, cheated. I said that it did happen and that it could easily be identified early on. I said that it is wrong for a guy to be lied to and be responsible for someone else’s child when the woman does cheat. So yes, your “summation” of what I thought or what you thought you read shows it is what you believe.

@janbb Same. Less commentary on whether or not it should happen. And more interest about why we have a visceral response to things. But I think there are just too many variables.

For the most part, you would think two consenting adults would be enough criteria to make it okay.

But there are a lot of examples where there are two consenting adults in a relationship that still make me uncomfortable.

There was a case where a man in a nursing home married his nurse. The power dynamic is way off.

She was very up front that she was marrying him for his money. Does that make it any better?

And there are a ton of these kind of relationships on TikTok that I feel are just doing it to generate content. (Which creates its own dysfunction and probably needs its own Fluther question.)

And the issue of having kids. Does society look down on them more if the father is older? The mother is older? What if they’re both older and making informed health decisions? How does this differ from disabled adults choosing to have children? Then we start moving into issues of eugenics. (Also warrants a separate question.)

Basically a very simple question, but it’s also a Pandora’s box. So I have to cop out with a “it depends”. :P

@raum Actually it’s the subtleties that I was trying to parse. And whether older woman/younger man is frowned on more than older man/arm candy. But “none of my business” seems to have shut the door so I’ll go with your nuanced answer “It depends.”

@janbb I wouldn’t take it as shutting the door. Even if it’s technically not our business, everyone still has a reaction to things.

And taking opportunities to examine why we have those reactions is way healthier than just saying it’s not my business.

I don’t see the two as necessarily mutually exclusive.

@seawulf575 Well, I am confused by what you wrote. I don’t get what the “let’s be honest” part is even about. And what does it mean to say “any time A, usually B”? Do you think it’s a case of “usually” or “any time”?

And as for the actual topic, what is it that has you certain enough to even think you know what the case is “usually”?

Since I posted I have a different opinion, it goes without saying that I disagree with your opinion, but this really isn’t a case of me trying to argue against your opinion. I’m really curious about the thinking that would cause someone to word an opinion about that the way you did.

@seawulf575 Go right ahead and wait, have a sandwich or two. I’m not going to waste my time trying to prove an ignorant statement made by you. :D smh

Would Christie Brinkley be involved? She’s coming up on 70 and still looking good.

Don’t know if Fluther is affecting my Facebook algorithm. But there was an article about “Alec Baldwin admits he forgot to include one child in tribute to his kids.”

And the comment at the top: “That happens, when you’re old enough to have memory issues, but still able to procreate.”

:P

@smudges Nor are you going to waste time trying to prove the ignorant statement made by you apparently. Typical.

^^ edited. nevermind…too silly for words

Seems like we’ve gotten to the “I’m rubber, you’re glue….” stage of the discussion so I suggest, as the OP, that this discussion be closed.

What I think about is this classic love song about someone in love with older women:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOMPiAHXoY0

^^ Ha! I got one word out of ten.

It sure as he’ll beats having no sexual relations at all.

I’d say the women is in it for something else

On FB I read that men don’t file for divorce until they have someone else lined up.
Women don’t do that.

Women file for divorce 70% of the time and they just live alone.

@Dutchess_III A friend who is 70 and is currently going through a divorce says that older men who are looking for a wife are looking for a nursemaid. She says that’s why a lot of older women are very content being alone, they want serenity and not to have to take care of someone. I’ve never been married so I’ve obviously never been divorced, but I think what she is saying has some accuracy to it. Is it generalizing? Yes but I do see it a lot.

I just know I was so much happier after my divorce. My ex had a couple women lined up.

^^^ @Dutchess_III You’re not talking about Rick, I hope?

No. My ex.