Have you ever tried to change the name you're called by?

It was the reverse for me. My 3rd grade teacher refused to believe that my parents really named me with the shortened version of the usual name. The idiot could have checked in with the principal’s office, but instead made me bring a note from my mother.

Was I comfortable? Not really. It was mildly humiliating.

I was always called by my shortened name by my husband and other family members and I prefer it, but I only started introducing myself with it after taking a class in which the teacher said we should use the name we wish to be called. This was when auditing a class at a community college. Since then I use that shortened form always when introducing myself or in a new situation. Old friends sometime use my full name and it sounds odd to me although officially I still need to use it.

When I was in preschool, I remember I decided I liked my mother’s middle name better than my own name. My mother’s middle name was Mary. For two days, when the teacher called attendance, I corrected him and said “my name is Mary.” Both days he said “ok,” I’m sure realizing it was just a stage. After two days, I forgot all about wishing my real name was Mary.

Sometimes people call me by a shortened version of my name, or sometimes they give me a nickname that sounds very similar to my real name and it’s all good. My last name, forget it, nobody can spell it, nobody can pronounce it.

My parents game me a long and distinguished first name. I hated it, and from the beginning I said “call me <shortened version>.”

I don’t know anyone who has tried to go with a new name who was over 14 or 15.

I do have a variant answer.

I have a second cousin who, like me, was born into a solidly Jewish family. The last name of that branch of the family was a name that was undeniably a Jewish last name.

My cousin, at around age 38–40, decided and convinced his wife that they should change last names from <Jewish last name> to something very vanilla and secular. And so they did.

I have never asked him, but I figure that the last name change was for one of two reasons:
\
1) in his profession, not having a Jewish sounding last name is of benefit career-wise.

2) he and his wife are pretty secular, not members of a synagogue or anything like that, and maybe he didn’t like the automatic implication of Jewishness.

Pretty strange.

My real name is very common so at one place of work I went by a nickname that was totally different than my name, but I only worked there for 3 months. We had five women with my name at that store including me. People were calling me by both names, so it never really fully took.

When I was younger some people used to shorten my name and add a y sound to the end, like calling a Deborah Debbie, let’s use that example. Debbie was not so much my doing though, just some people called me by it. Also, they would cut it short to one syllable like Deb. I basically shed the Debbie altogether when I went to college, but I had there were a few people who called me Deb in college, and I liked it.

As an adult, most people call me by full name, and when I meet new people and they ask what I prefer to be called, I tell them Deb or Deborah are fine. If they ask me about using Debbie, I tell them I don’t mind, but if you use Debbie I might not realize you are talking to me. There are about five people in my life who call me Debbie. I don’t correct them, even though I don’t think of myself as a Debbie.

People usually give me nicknames, I don’t usually ask to be called by them. One employee of mine used to call me Maserati. LOL. My last name starts with an M and is a little tricky to say for some people. For whatever reason he liked his Italian version of my last name over calling me by my first name.

My grandmother changed her name as a young girl from Ida to Irene. Maybe she was named after an Ida. She didn’t like that name at all. I am not sure what age she did it. If I remember the story correctly her mom liked Irene better also.

@elbanditoroso I have close friends of my family who changed their last name around age 40. I still call them by their original last name.

When I got married I was very aware that I was taking on a very Jewish last name and I felt like it could make me a target in a bad situation like a plane hijacking. Back then there were movies about the hijackings so that was in my mind. My maiden name is Jewish, but most people who aren’t Jewish don’t know it. Even Jewish people don’t necessarily know my maiden name is Jewish, but they fairly quickly guess I am Jewish.

Not until my daughter, and sort of in reverse.

When she was a baby and learning what to call my wife and I, she picked up “Mama” quickly but wouldn’t say “Dad”. She did however start calling me “Bah”. “Ba” is Chinese for ‘father’, she’s from China, so great. We just played with the spelling a bit. So I was “Bah” until she was 18.

Then she asked to start calling me something else as she didn’t like “Bah” anymore. I was resistant at first because I really loved this unique name she called me, but she insisted, so I relented.

Funny thing is, she never decided on another name so now she calls me nothing. To other people, I’m her ‘father’, on birthday cards and such, I’m ‘Dad”, but face to face — I’m nothing.

I’ve brought it up a few times but she says she has a hard time calling ‘people’ by their names.

I miss my old name but would be happy if I’d be referred to as something.

I took a shortened nickname as a teen. My family couldn’t adjust, except my baby brother, who thought my choice was cool.
When I joined the military, I changed it permanently. My dad NEVER switched, even using a name which was not legally me anymore in his will.
Everyone else eventually got it right.
People who didn’t know me before, would ask me what my name is short for. I tell them, “because I wanted it that way.”

Numerous times.

When I was very small, I was called by my first initial combined with my middle name. Then in elementary school, I went by a common shortened version of my first name. That lasted until I went to college when I switched to my full first name. That lasted until the first anniversary of my sobriety. I had learned in Japan people will sometimes change the Kanji for their first name to mark am important occasion. I decided to drop my full first name and be Jake.

I’ve never had a problem getting people to adapt.

I have very dear friends who have completely changed their names, and honestly I have difficulty thinking of them as the old name. Their new names fit them so much better.

Yes, when I went from elementary school to middle I had a very low opinion of myself. I identified with a song lyric “poor little Robin” and told everyone my name was Robin. A year later, we moved to a different school district and I went back to my given name.

At my birth, I was given my Father’s first name, but my Mother said I would be called by a nickname.
I have always hated the nickname. I tried to get people to call me by my proper name, but was only successful with those I worked with.

My son in law was born in Poland, and he has a name very common there, but often mispronounced here.
His name is Jacek, which is pronounced Yaht Zick. Because of this he tells everyone his name is Jack.
I call him by his proper name, and he has told me that means a lot to him.

Last Sunday my wife and I were walking in a park and my wife said that she always wished that her name was “Isadora”. I said OK. Hence fourth I shall be known as “Fremont Wesley Hathaway III”.

I always disliked my official first name, “Lon”. For a few minutes of letting the name “Lon” go and jokingly assuming the name “Fremont” gave me a totally unexpected uplifting feeling of freedom. Like a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders.

At quite a young age I began to be known informally by my father’s nickname. I don’t know why that happened but it stopped when I moved to a different city. Sometimes when speaking with an old friend they will call me by my old nickname and for a moment I feel 50 years younger.

Yes. When I went to grad school I attempted, but it failed. I have never been able to shake my called name. It is an obvious nickname for my Christian name.