At a table setting, do you know the difference between a dessert fork and a regular fork?

The dessert fork is smaller and has only 3 spikes?

Yes, but I haven’t been to a banquet (or even a dinner party) in 20 years that had multiple forks and multiple spoons. I think that ‘fine dining’ has gone away in my socioeconomic and age cohort.

Yes, there’s also a spoon and a soup spoon and a regular knife and a butter knife, not to mention a steak knife.

Yes, I know, but I venture to say depending on the brand they might vary. I can explain the fork and where it is on the place setting, but I am assuming you don’t want us to give it away yet since only a few people have answered. Everyday flatware doesn’t usually have a separate dessert and salad fork, it would only be more formal sets that have at least three forks.

@smudges Soup spoon, dessert spoon, and coffee spoon, just to name three, there are others.

^^ Yes, and salad fork, too. ooops…you said that! ;)

@smudges I have grapefruit spoons too; a gift from my husband. I had wanted one for years, and then luckily my husband noticed them at the culinary institute store in NY, which happens to be not far from the OP. We bought two.

I should buy an iced tea spoon, that’s what I’m missing. It can be useful for more than just stirring a tall glass.

From closest to plate, outward…

Left Side of the Plate:
Dinner fork (large, 4 prongs)
Salad fork (smaller, 4 prongs)

Dessert fork (smaller, 3 prongs) comes after dinner to replace the other two.

Right Side of the Plate:
Knife (blade facing toward plate)
Soup spoon (large)

Dessert spoon (if needed) and Demitasse spoon (for espresso/coffee) come out after dinner to replace the other two.

Plates:
Dinner plate down first, then salad plate then soup bowl on top (if needed).

Dessert plate or cup comes out after dinner to replace the others.

Napkin is folded and placed under the utensils on the left side. Can also be decorative on top of plate.

This is how I learned it from my grandmother who was a waitress for many years.

This is how I would describe it: Dessert forks can be three or four prongs (I’ve seen both, but maybe one is more correct than the other?) and can have heavier prongs on the ends to cut through pie crust. It can go above the plate at the original place setting for dinner or brought out with dessert.

@JLeslie: I’ve seen the above-the-plate option too.

I don’t do that because I have one or two glasses (water, wine) up there at about 1-O-Clock.

The reason why I asked is that about a month ago, I went out to eat with two friends. The restaurant was one where, like many, the silverware was rolled up in the linen napkin. When I unrolled it to get my utensils, the fork was a small fork. I told my two friends that I was eating with that I needed the waitress because they gave me a dessert fork. One of my friends said “what’s the difference?” I’m sure she didn’t mean what’s the difference to you as a diner, because it’s definitely not as easy to eat with a small fork as it is to eat with a regular sized fork, so I am guessing she meant what’s the difference in forks. I was surprised she didn’t know that there’s a difference between regular fork and dessert (or salad sized) fork.

@JLeslie my mother used to eat half a grapefruit every day for breakfast, using a grapefruit spoon. I don’t see them any more in stores.

@JLeslie & @jca2 Ooooh…I’d forgotten about grapefruit spoons! I got a set of 4 along with a serrated knife from Amazon for $6.99 about 6 months ago! (looks like they’ve gone up one $) I was so excited when they came. I’d also forgotten about the iced tea spoon. https://tinyurl.com/ymxzcczb

@jca2 Yeah, I would not want to eat my whole meal with a dessert fork!

@jca2 I bought the grapefruit spoons at CIA Hyde Park. Who knows if they still sell them. If you and your daughter haven’t done the tour there we really enjoyed it. A student takes you on the tour. Here’s the link. https://www.ciafoodies.com/new-york-campus-visitor-tours-and-events/

@JLeslie They have a new cafe (“new” meaning only a few years old), which is no reservations, casual coffee and pastries and maybe soup and sandwiches. I’d really like to try that. For the other restaurants, you need to reserve so far in advance. I hate making reservations for things far in advance because it’s hard to predict what will be going on in six months. It’s less than an hour from my house so I need to find a friend and we can go to the cafe.

Yes. I also know the difference between all the forks.
Dessert Fork
Fish Fork
Entree Fork
Salad Fork
Oyster Fork
I am a graduate of Fork U!

No one mentioned the Spork. https://www.vox.com/2015/6/23/8826591/spork-inventor

@jca2 You don’t have to eat there to take the tour. The full serve restaurants are very expensive there. It’s cool because you have student waiters too. The cafe sounds like a nice addition.

My husband loves a diner in Hyde Park, I’d have to try to figure out the name of it on a map it’s been so long.

All these fancy different variations of cutlery are specifically designed to perpetuate class divisions, specifically for the bourgeoisie to lord their perceived superiority over the common folk.
As far as I am concerned, it can all be condensed to spoon, small spoon, japanese soup spoon, fork, small fork, and knife.
As for “arrangement”, they all go on the side of the hand that uses them. Which means knife goes on the left, everything else goes on the right.

Who even gives a shit anymore? Following this nonsense is just classism. I’ll stick a chopstick in a roll and eat it that way if I damn well please.

There are practical purposes, it’s not all classism.

A dessert fork has a stronger side for cutting through pie.

A spoon for tea is a very long spoon so you can stir the sugar that falls to the bottom well. That spoon is good for getting jam or peanut butter out of the bottom of the jar too.

A grapefruit spoon has serrated edges and is narrow to help get the piece out when you cut the fruit in half.

I grew up middle class in a lower middle class neighborhood. My dad grew up extremely poor. My family wasn’t looking down their noses at anyone.

Knowing basics about a place setting at a table and other etiquette basics is a good thing. The “rules” should help make people comfortable not uncomfortable. The trick is no one should be judging someone who is unaware, they should help them with what is “correct” or just understand there are different etiquette expectation in different cultures.

The lower classes have etiquette expectations also on how people they think people should behave.

@JLeslie That’s probably the Everready Diner. Let me know if you’re ever going there and maybe I’ll meet you. We love it there. Also Hyde Park is beautiful. We were just there this past weekend.

@Forever_Free Funny!

@tinyfaery you absolutely could and should eat with whatever fork you want to.

@jca2 We love Hyde Park too. I agree it is beautiful. I wonder how fast I will get back up there now that my BIL’s have moved to Florida.

That might be the diner, I just looked on the map and it looks like the right location. My husband would remember.

@JLeslie it’s like an old school diner with chrome and black and white floors.

Yes, old school diner, and I am sure if I looked at the menu it would be familiar. I can try to google it. I think it was north of the FDR museum. I vaguely remember backtracking. I don’t have the map up now, and I have to run. I will look again later.

I have never, to my knowledge, sat within fifteen feet of a dessert fork.

Big fork for meal.
Little dainty fork for dessert.
Wide short fork for salad.
(Details vary with silverware set.)

We have a lot of them including seafood ford fork (oyster fork) and picks for knuckle meat on lobster.

Also have a couple of butter knives like this. https://www.libertytabletop.com/product/american-industrial-butter-knife/ You use them to cut butter from the stick on the butter boat and put on your plate edge.

@flutherother If you’ve ever been to a halfway decent restaurant (which I am betting you have) or if you’ve ever been to a wedding (which I am betting you have), I am guessing you have come into contact with many dessert forks in your lifetime.

I was told that you use the cutlery from outside in.

I was also taught not to make any noise while eating.

@RedDeerGuy1 you got good advice. Also elbows off the table. When you think about it, if you have your elbows on the table, you’re hunched forward and it’s hard for people on the sides of you to see beyond you. You’re supposed to sit up straight and keep the hand you’re not using in your lap. The hand you’re not using is not supposed to be on the table or hovering next to the plate.

I always think of how the royals eat. If you watch their posture and mannerisms when they’re eating, that’s what we’re supposed to do.

@ragingloli In the states, the proper way to use the knife is by holding it in your right hand, therefore, it goes on the right side of the plate. Then we lay the knife across the top of the plate and switch our fork to our right hand to eat the piece of food we’ve cut. I know…extra movements, but that’s how we do it. ¯\(ツ)/¯

@smudges that sounds really stupid.

@ragingloli I can tell you my mom spent lots of time with me when I was little, teaching me how to switch the knife and fork back and forth when I was cutting my meat and how to hold the knife and fork.

@jca2
Then you are a victim of child abuse.

@ragingloli I know! I don’t know when it began or who started it or why. I’m assuming that when the pilgrims came over, they ate like Europeans do now…cut the meat with the right hand, then use the fork in the left hand to eat the piece of food.