Should I send a gift (money) as a graduation gift?

My general rule of thumb is this:
If they were to throw a graduation* party, and it was nearby, would I go?

If the answer is ‘yes’, I send a gift. If the answer is ‘no’, I do not. I might just send a card or congratulate them via phone/text.

*also applies to weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, etc.

My grandmother gave me a savings bond. I kept it for a couple of years before I cashed it in. It ended up being an emergency rent payment. I was grateful.

I agree with @cookieman answer.

For me, it would depend on how close the friend was and if I knew the son/daughter very well. If I’d met the son/daughter a few times, then no. If I felt close to them and kept up with them over the years, then yes, probably $100, maybe just $50.

Sure, sending a check is very nice and always appreciated. $100—$200 is a good amount.

I view theJD as distinctly different in gift giving from that of a Bachelor degree.

I would give him something appropriate for a JD moving to Hawaii. Perhaps a good guidebook to Hawaii, or a high quality aloha shirt. Or, and what I plan on giving my son when he gets his JD later this year, an “Alumni” t shirt from the school.

I think the whole “graduation announcement” thing is just a money grab by parents. I never did it for my daughter. You won’t be faulted by sending nothing but if you want to I would send no more than 100 bucks.

A couple hundred bucks is more than anyone (including family) gave me when I got my PhD. That is very generous of you. It will be appreciated, I’m sure.

Yes. Nothing is better. Don’t feel obligated to send gifts for kids you don’t even know….......their aunt’s ex boyfriend knows your cousin’s step mom. Really. No gift.

@Caravanfan I agree with you to an extent. I don’t know that sending the announcement is meant as a money grab but I never gave anything to even family members when they got their graduate degrees.

But if you want to send anything $100 would be ample.

@gondwanalon A JD is given after someone graduates from law school and is a doctorate, correct? That’s impressive!

^^^Yes that’s what I understand.

Thanks guys. I have never given a gift to a graduate before.
I should have mentioned that my friend is such that I feel like he’s my brother. Also 8 years ago when we were camping out with our club my friend talked disparagingly about his son. He said his son lacks direction and was floundering.

I’m pretty sure that my friend is genuinely proud of his son and not doing a money grab or looking for some other gifts.

When I graduated with a BA my parents gave me a very nice leather briefcase – don’t remember the brand. Sounds like you’re very close to your friend…I’d say $100 minimum if you can afford it. But don’t do without yourself.

Hawaii is expensive! I’m sure some cash to help set up his life there will be appreciated. Plus, if he currently lives in one of the contiguous 48, he can’t drag a bunch of gifts across the Pacific, it’s expensive and impractical.

It’s nice to have a gift that is always remembered like a name plate for a desk or brief case, but money sounds very practical in this case.

Did he go to law school in HI?

It certainly sounds like you want to give a gift and you are close to the father so a check and a card sound like a good idea.

@JLeslie Graduated from the School of Law University of Hawaii. Also is certified in environmental law and Hawaiian law.

Cash is always acceptable.

Ok, so at least he isn’t moving a bunch of stuff over there. Sending a gift always sounds complicated to me when it’s crossing borders or oceans, but a gift card with a check or even an Amazon or paypal gift money is no problem.

Yes, a J.D. is a Juris Doctorate. It’s a professional doctorate degree. You can then sit for the bar exam if you want to practice law. My wife has one.

I feel it always seems weird to send gifts to people you don’t really know. You could send a few hundred bucks to the parents so they can celebrate by going out to dinner somewhere nice. Though I always like making it a prepaid card. This way if they know their kid really needs something they can use it for something else, because in the end, when our kids need money they eventually get it from their folks. Point is, the parents can decide how to spend it and would probably appreciate the generous offer. Kids,or I should say, young adults, not so much. Especially if they don’t really know you.

It all depends on how close you are with this friends son. If you have known them well there is nothing wrong with a small gift of 100. There is also nothing wrong with a simple congratulations when you see them.
I have a very close friend who I have vacationed with at their summer home and spent weeks around their sons and at their winter home in NYC. I know their sons well enough to join golf outings on Fathers Day, join fishing trips, etc. When the son got his Masters or passed the bar, I did not feel pressured to do anything but congratulate him.

In our area everyone you’ve ever known gets an announcement and we all return the kindness with cash or a gift. Not to do so is impolite or insulting. Perhaps a hundred dollar bill, or gift cards-it depends on the relationship. The closer you are the better the gift.

To me, it depends on how close you are to your friend and his son, first of all, and what you can afford, of course. For my good friends, if they had a party when their kids graduated, I’d attend with a card with a check inside. For a further degree, like a Master’s or PhD, I don’t remember there being any parties and I don’t think I gave gifts.

If you want to give a gift, it’s appropriate and I’m sure the son will appreciate it. For me, I’d do between 50 and 100 but if you can do more and have it to send, send what your heart tells you to. Only you know how close your friend is and what you’re feeling.

I think the parents’ announcement is twofold – because they’re proud of their son’s accomplishment and because they’d like friends to acknowledge it with a card or gift if possible. I think @zenvelo “gift-gift” ideas are a fun alternative.

@gondwanalon ”...my friend is such that I feel like he’s my brother.”

In that case, I think $100—$200 is reasonable, if it’s not a significant impact on your finances.