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RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Have you ever thought that you ruined your life and gotten your life back on track?

Asked by RedDeerGuy1 (24986points) July 8th, 2023

Or accepted your history and moved on?

I thought that after I failed out of university in 2000 that I was finished.

Now I am grateful just to have food, and a warm bed.

Share your experiences.

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12 Answers

elbanditoroso's avatar

No, have never thought I ruined my life.

I have made some mistakes – one huge one (the person I married) and plenty of smaller ones, but my attitude is that once I had the mistake, I move on.

By that I mean that I don’t dwell on the past – in fact I barely think about those mistakes – and I pay attention to what is happening now and next week; not what happened 20, 30, or 40 years ago.

Too many people – including several I know personally – still bear grudges and hold on to memories from our youth. I don’t understand why.

smudges's avatar

By that I mean that I don’t dwell on the past – in fact I barely think about those mistakes – and I pay attention to what is happening now and next week; not what happened 20, 30, or 40 years ago.

Absolutely! All living in the past gets you is roadblocks to a possibly wonderful future, and a lot of wringing of hands and sobbing…“Oh how I wish…” “If only I hadn’t…” “If so-and-so hadn’t done this…” “It’s their fault that…”

smudges's avatar

I’ve done so many things I regret it could fill a book, and to be honest, I’m very lucky to be alive. Hitch-hiking across the U.S. at age 15 with 2 unknown men is pretty damned risky. But time moves on and I have too. I rarely think of those negatives anymore. I can’t be bothered. I’ve got now, and life isn’t a dress rehearsal.

filmfann's avatar

I worry I am currently ruining my life.
9 years ago, I retired. I sold my house in town, and moved to a beautiful house in a small mountain town. The house was paid off. Life is good.
Now we are moving back to town. We are selling the big house, and we know any place we buy will be half the size.
Don’t ask why.
So I worry I am snatching failure out of the jaws of victory.

JLeslie's avatar

The last ten years have been full of feeling like I make some big mistakes. That I passed on opportunities and a lot of regrets. I don’t feel I ruined my life, because it could be so much worse, but I missed on what could have been so much more amazing and so much more happy and calm. I keep telling myself maybe if I had done one of those things that I feel I missed maybe I would have been in the wrong place at the wrong time and been hit by a bus. You just never know. It’s how I try to move into a stage of acceptance. It would probably be better to take a new action and not just settle it somehow in my brain.

Koxufoxu's avatar

My life is constantly getting worse, so yeah

seawulf575's avatar

I got divorced and got custody of a 6 yo daughter and twin 2.5 yo sons. And I got a pile of debt. I hadn’t been out on a date in a decade. I had to sell the house and move. I ended up having to file for bankruptcy.

Yeah, I was pretty desolate.

But life is like that sometimes. You hit bumps in the road of life. Some are minor and some are huge. But I have found that things always turn around somehow. Set your standards and adhere to them. Set your goals and work towards them, not giving up if you miss a milestone or if you think it is taking longer than expected to reach that goal. The tandem of those two things should see you through most things.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I course-corrected many times, it happens. A lot of people never go to college and are quite well off and successful. No reason to keep beating yourself up over what you did way back then. You have grown and evolved since then. :)

Forever_Free's avatar

Everyone’s life and track is different. Life and shit happens.

When life gives you lemons, make melons and move on.

longgone's avatar

Oh yeah. When I was about 22 and studying law, I woke up late for class one day. Not a huge deal, but it was end-of-term exams. I remember thinking that I’d never amount to anything.

jca2's avatar

No. I had a few opportunities that I let pass for various reasons, but nothing that I felt my life was ruined over. I’ve had a few tragedies (living in a building that burned in a fire, being in a car accident that did major damage to one of my ankles) but I bounce back. Nothing where I felt I was at fault or that I was at rock bottom, thankfully. I remind myself that I have a lot of good things in my life, a good family, I live in a good place, a safe place, a place that people strive to live in, a great school district, free health care thanks to my job that I retired from, good health, so many things that I am grateful for.

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