Would you feel foolish if your family was looking after your own medical issues ?

I know they mean well and it’s appreciated. But I could care less about any of that crap and if the medical people say my blood pressure and heart rate are good that’s all I care about. I’d toss that crap medicine in the trash if the wife would let me and I don’t give a rats butt about disability other than getting handicap papers and plates for my car. My right leg was amputated because of my pulmonary and blood clot issues and I’m in a wheelchair but I’m happy that I don’t have to work any more. People keep asking if I’m depressed and when I say hell no, they look at my like I’m crazy. Hey, you work until you’re 90 years old if you want, I’m a happy camper. Shit happens, look on the bright side.

I would hazzard a guess that your blood pressure and heart rate are all good due to your medications. So no pitching them in the garbage.
I’m very sorry to hear you have been so sick. I knew you hadn’t been on here much, but wasn’t sure why.
You seem to have a good attitude about it, but this kind of thing can still get you down. I’m glad you have people to help you and take care of you. Even if you think you don’t need it, they need to help you to feel useful. If it gets too overly fawning over you, just tell them to back off, but in a polite manner. After all, they do love you.

Not caring about the fact that they are taking care of all the necessary work does make you look foolish IMHO. You have people taking care of very important aspects of your care and the family’s finances. Be grateful.

Well thanks for the well wishes but truly I am fine and I couldn’t be happier if they could crap golden eggs. I am so tired of fighting that Austin traffic every day that I could have puked. I’m so thrilled to be really retired I could literally hop down my street on my walker singing Zippedy Doo Dah. I kid you not.

No, it does not make you look foolish.

It makes you look loved and cared for, which implies you may have done many things right in the past.

It makes you sound selfish and a bit cruel that you so easily dismiss the concern of the people who care for you.

Not dismissing family. As said above, the care is appreciated. I just don’t like being forced to swallow those horse pills twice a day. The only person I have dismissed is my ( former) boss. See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya pal.

I don’t know. I would feel more grateful and I would feel badly that I was causing them stress or more work.

Medicaid and Medicare does not only help you it helps the family. I was trying to explain this to my inlaws, but I can only say so much without them turning it on me and making me a bad person.

Your family loves you and they are not going to let you suffer. Getting all the help you are entitled to means they don’t have to do so much of the work in the end and it might mean they burn through less money of their own also. You paid into Medicare your whole working life, so making sure you optimize coverage is a good idea. If you or your family is poor (I have no idea) then using some of the service provided by medicaid helps them too.

Understood but I’m not suffering at all. Haven’t experienced any pain at all. Not even after the brain surgery. Maybe I’m just lucky but it’s really much Ado about nothing. “It’s true, it’s actual, everything is satisfactual.” : )

I’m so glad you feel ok! I guess maybe just let them do whatever helps them feel less anxious. They are worried about you.

Not foolish at all, no. I think that with such a serious illness, it’s appropriate for your family to help you. I hope you stay as healthy as possible, and that you remain positive about the situation (though it’s also okay to feel sad or conflicted).

What makes you seem very privileged (and so a bit entitled) is your dismissal of the work that your family is doing. If you don’t care about your life, you might as well sign an organ donor card and be done with it. Please don’t. But that is the logical consequence.

If you do care about your life, it would be kind and appropriate to thank your family members and also appreciate all the work that’s going into the creation of your life-saving pills. And, to take some of the burden off your wife’s shoulders, you might want to learn about the meds and their schedule so she can relax a bit. If you’re recovered enough, that is.

There’s a debilitating psychological illness called “burnout”, which caregivers are often diagnosed with. It presents like major depression in some ways, and is not to be trifled with. The people most at risk of burnout are those doing unappreciated work. So no matter what else you do: please thank your wife. She cares so much about you.

No, but I would have boundary issues. I had to accept furniture, but I am ok with it now. I received a disablity food cash amount in the bank. I am grateful as I was low on food, and was rationing.

I might be upset if someone had to bath me, and wipe my behind. It is preferable than feeling all ranchy all day. So I guess that I would be over it very fast.

What Chyna said.

Sometimes our families can become overbearing and overprotective. It can be annoying. On the other hand we can get recalcitrant and lackadaisical when it comes to our own health. That can become self-destructive. Annoying or self-destructive. Your call.

You are blessed to have family that are caring for you.
It is not the easiest of things for you nor the caretakers. Know that this is truly loving care.
I wish you well.

I’m wondering if you’re on antidepressants and/or anti-anxiety medications because you seem giddy to the point of being flippant about this important situation.

It’s good the family is helping you and making sure you take what the doctor prescribed. It’s good that the family is making sure that applications are filed to get you and your family the financial help you and they are entitled to. I wouldn’t feel foolish if I were you. I’d feel happy and grateful that they’re helping and that they care. Some people don’t have that and they would rot in a nursing home where the care would probably be inferior.

Guess I’m going against the grain of everybody else responding here, but I kind of get what the original poster is saying. I have family that are very controlling, and I don’t know if they would act similarly in this situation, but there’s a difference between family caring for you and trying to get different issues taken care of, and trying to control aspects of your life. Ultimately, unless the person is deemed incapable of making their own decisions, it is their decision how to handle things.
So if the original poster feels that their family is being too invasive, then they should not be shot down for feeling that way. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be grateful for our family being willing to step up and help, but there is a point where family needs to respect our boundaries, even if they don’t agree with how we are going about stuff.

@LifeQuestioner , Bingo!!!

@LifeQuestioner Maybe the family “needs to respect our boundaries”, and maybe not. My friend had a situation with her father that was ongoing for years. His idea of “masculinity” was to present “tough and fine” all the time. He constantly bitched because her mother was on him about his meds and health. He was very good at making her sound a bit intrusive and busybody. She went out of town for a month to look after an ailing parent, he was delighted to be left alone, promised to take the meds, and…didn’t. And had a stroke, and required an enormous amount of care after that, which, not surprisingly, his family resented.
Just an example.

Maybe @NoMore doesn’t have high blood pressure, maybe he’s just really unpleasant if he’s in pain (and doesn’t realize it), and maybe his family having the basic good sense to prepare is just a simple and normal thing for them to do because he won’t do it for himself because he “feels fine”.
After a certain age, “feels fine” is not a very accurate indicator.

I now think you are being unreasonable. If my loved one was wanting to pitch the medicine that was keeping him healthy, I would have you in for a mental health check up so fast your head would spin.
Your family doesn’t want or need you more disabled than you are now. Do you want to get to the point you are pooping your pants and drooling?
And as far as disability and Medicaid, you DO NOT want to wipe out your and your wife’s entire savings and lose your house. Think of them for a change. I felt bad for you but now I just think you are being selfish.

No. Just roll with it.

Trying to. Love them to death but when my wife and sister gang up on me and take my cigar away that’s just plumb abusive. @Dutchess_III
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Well just tell them to go away. By law they have no access to your medical issues.