What's the difference between having a preferred "type" in a romantic partner and having a "fetish"?

Fetish means there’s a sexual attraction to specific body parts, races, long hair or other specific thing’s, I would say.

So someone with an Asian fetish likely would not date anyone outside the fetish parameters.

I never though about this before. Maybe fetish is used when it’s outside of your own race, but that seems a little weird to me. I feel like Asian women are more likely to be referred to in that way then other races. It’s demeaning and objectifying to even more of an extreme than women are already objectified IMO.

I would use the word type for the features I am typically attracted to including race.

Similar to @KNOWITALL I think of fetish usually referring sexual arousal caused by a specific article of clothing or body part like high healed shoes or long hair, that would be how I would typically use it.

A fetish is a very specific disorder. It is a worsening condition where a person increasingly requires an item or specific circumstance to be present for sexual arousal and gratification. At its extreme, it creates distress and an inability to be aroused/gratified without whatever (item, body part, etc.) being present. There are different forms – inanimate object, body part, etc.

I am not aware of actual fetishes for certain races. I believe you are referring to “fetishization”, where one makes others the object of their sexual desire based on their identity (i.e., race). See: https://www.forbes.com/sites/janicegassam/2021/02/07/what-is-fetishization-and-how-does-it-contribute-to-racism/?sh=145e9d4e6e39

In my opinion, with a preference, one would still become acquainted with the other as an individual. With fetishization, one may tokenize another person based on their identity and not actually see the person as a full, actualized individual but “just” a member of their identity group.

@Cupcake I know what a fetish is but the question came up in my mind when a few posters on the Japanese women thread talked about some people have an “Asian fetish.” I was trying to draw a distinction. Your last paragraph is helpful.

@janbb I have no doubt that you know the actual definition, but not everyone reading the question will. Glad you found something I said useful.

The fetishization of Asian women is more than just the racial physical characteristics. There are a significant number of Caucasian men who seek out Asian women not only for their looks, but also because of their supposed cultural disposition.

These men, many of whom may be considered as an offshoot of incels, desire an Asian woman, supposedly demure, quiet, and submissive yet sexually sophisticated.

@zenvelo Exactly. They aren’t all geishas and femure ha!!

A fetish is a physical thing. A “Type” is more in attitude and behavior. Just my 2C.

A “type” can mean personality as well as physical attributes. A “Fetish” is almost always physical.

Personally, I still think of type as the physical looks that you are attracted to initially. I see what @zenvelo means by fetishizing when you associate all kinds of personality traits with that physical type or race, rather than using the initial attraction to get to know the person further as an individual.

@Cupcake – a fetish is only a disorder if it causes disordered behavior, and “worsening” is both biased and inaccurate. For most of us, it’s just a fun wrinkle in our sex lives.

To have a fetish for a race is somewhere at the racist or at least super ignorant end of sexuality. I can’t imagine a person sexually fixating on a race unless they have only limited experience with and/or strong stereotypes of people of that race.

Having a preference for blondes or brunettes is natural but once you start keeping samples of their hair in locked cabinets at your home you are a fetishist.

@Smashley You are correct. I overstated fetishes to focus on the difference with fetishization and because I am more familiar with the disordered end of the spectrum from medical literature. I have a bias against medical terms being used colloquially to the point that they lose their meaning (like calling someone who likes organization having “OCD”). Fetishes go far above “just liking something” in a sexual manner. I appreciate you calling me out for my biased comment.

A preference is just that, a preference. A fetish is an obsession. It’s like having a normal interest vs being a stalker. One is a healthy relationship, the other is an unrealistic idealization and obsession.