I have two questions for public transportation users. Will you please read the details?

I am not a frequent rider but I use the MARTA (Atlanta’s rapid transit system) to get to and from the airport when I travel.

Annoyances:
– people having their music so loud – even with their headsets – that I can hear it.
– people having loud conversations
– people who have put their luggage (or shopping bags) in the center aisle of the train instead of the place for luggage
– people who put luggage on the seat next to them, when there are people needing seats. That’s just rude.

Courtesies: sort of the converse of above:

- if someone needs a seat, take your bags (or purse, or whatever) off of the seat next to you and let them sit.
– if you’re talking with someone, speak at a low volume
– be friendly, smile, it’s less threatening to people.
– Let older people on and off first

Growing up I used public transportation a lot, and I had a mom who taught us rules about it. As an adult I use it sporadically.

On buses if all the seats are full and you are standing, and the aisle is getting crowded, move to the back if more people are getting on. Keep going back so everyone at the stop can get on.

On buses and subways, if you are sitting, keep your legs in away from the aisle. Also, if you are sitting and seats are all taken, and a child, elderly person, or pregnant woman is standing, offer your seat, assuming you are healthy and able to stand.

Don’t talk too loud if you are talking to someone else.

Don’t occupy two seats if seats are filling up.

If there is an armrest make sure the other person has space to rest their arm too.

On short trips don’t eat. If you bring food, don’t bring smelly food.

Don’t stare at other people.

Have your ticket or money ready, don’t hold up the line.

I use public transport most days and there is an unwritten rule that fellow travellers should give up their seat for others less capable such as the elderly, pregnant women etc. That said, it is very seldom that you can’t get a seat on a bus. On getting off the bus most people thank the driver for taking them where they wanted to go.

The vast majority of passengers sit quietly looking out of the windows but loud passengers can be annoying.

If you are including elevators as transportation, in a busy elevator the person closest to the doors leaves first if it is their floor; men should not wait for women to go first, but you can do that if there is just two or three on an elevator. If the elevator is large and you are by the buttons, ask people boarding “what floor” so they don’t have to navigate through people to press the button. If you are by the door and it is a busy large elevator you can help hold the door open if a lot of people are getting on and off. If someone disabled is entering or exiting be extra considerate holding the doors for them.

On airplanes, if you are a healthy man, offer to help women get their carry-on in and out of the above the seat compartment. You are taller and stronger and can do it with much less effort than a woman and more likely not to hurt anyone else doing it too. Don’t be very demanding of the flight attendants, let them do their routine. When you board be efficient at getting yourself into your seat, don’t stand a long time in the aisle.

My grandmother, who babysat for me a lot when I was little, didn’t drive so she took the bus and train. She taught me, when we’d take the bus and subway to NYC, that if for some reason we got separated, not to go walking around looking for her. Stay in one spot otherwise she’d never find me. That’s great advice for anyone, except now with cell phones it’s a little different.

I took the bus and trains to NYC on my own since around age 13 or 14. Nobody taught me any “rules” except not to look at people (which is very important because in NYC, people may not will but may, take that as a threat or take it that you’re interested in them). Nobody taught me to move to the back of the bus when people got on, but it is common sense and common courtesy and the bus drivers used to say it. Now the bus drivers don’t say anything like that because in NYC they’re getting punched and spit on and all sorts of things. Nobody taught me to move my bag from the seat if there are people looking for a seat, it’s common sense and courteous. If I’m looking for a seat and someone has a bag on the seat next to them, I will ask them to move the bag.

A big thing on trains now is to not be yelling into your cell phone. The train to NYC has “quiet cars” where you’re not supposed to be on the phone at all, or very limited. Not all cars are quiet cars. It’s because after a long day at work, or in the early morning when people are tired, nobody wants to have to listen to someone else’s conversation.

On elevators, sometimes men will stand back and let me off first. I just go with the flow. If they don’t, it’s fine, whatever works.

On planes, when getting off the plane, it’s best when the people in the front get off first, otherwise there’s chaos but there’s no set rule about it. There was a post in a column on FB recently, where a woman said someone rushed to the front of the plane when it landed and she told the person her “rule” and gave them a stare-down, and she was apparently very proud of herself. Some people said who are you to set the rules, or how do you know the person didn’t have to make a flight connection or have to go to the bathroom badly or any number of things. I don’t fly too often and I find flying to be a big PITA.

@jca2 At my university in Michigan I think a lot of the students had never been on public transportation before or didn’t grow up in crowded places (or just didn’t care about other people) many of them didn’t move to help others be able to board without the bus driver yelling at them that people need to move back. It would get better a few weeks in, but initially, it was ridiculous.

In NYC we are constantly aware we are sharing space with others, or most of us are. I think we see our parents behaving appropriately even if they don’t tell us.

@JLeslie Unfortunately, in NYC now, the public bus drivers don’t say anything to anyone because they’re subject to abuse (as I noted above).

I think a lot of people are self centered. All the time on the Metro North trains, I see people getting on crowded trains while others sit in their seats with bags next to them, to have nobody next to them, and with their heads buried in their phones, daring people to ask to sit there which many won’t, but in the meantime it’s just rude. I do, because fuck that.

@jca2 I don’t think I’ve ever been on a NYC bus that a driver told people to move. I’m not usually on a very crowded bus though. The last time I took a bus in the city was probably 5 years ago.

Loud riders gave me the inspiration for this question. I’ve been riding the bus to and from work every day for six weeks and it’s been fine until this week. There are two young women who now ride the bus when I leave work and they talk the entire time and it’s very loud. What used to be a pleasant ride home has now become irritating. It was so irritating yesterday I ended up searching online for noise canceling headphones while I was on the bus! Lol. It’s a one day delivery so it won’t help today but I’ll have them for tomorrow. I can’t wait! These girls are so annoying.

Commuter Rail user for many years into Boston.

Courtesies
Offer your seat up to pregnant women and elderly.
Observe Quiet Car Rules
Be ready with you ticket/Fare
Offering to lift a bag overhead for someone

Annoyances
Loud people in the quiet car
Mansplay
When train is at final stop and many getting off, not letting each row exit in order
People who cheat the ticketing system
People not ready with their ticket/Fare
People who bitch when they don’t leave on time due to weather.
People who put their feet up on another seat
People who won’t move their bag from the seat so someone can’t sit.
Terrible BO

^heavy cigarette smokers or cologne/perfume make me cough and I get a sore throat.

@flutherother the majority of riders in my area thank the driver when they exit. It was nice to see when I first started riding.