Do you define and use the words upset and sad the same way?

For me “upset” is a reaction to a negative situation, One can feel sad when upset, but the may be angry, disappointed, etc. Sadness can be used in a broad set of circumstances and can have a very long duration. One can be sad for no reason at all for example.

Nope. Pretty much what @gorillapaws said.

Upset includes a certain amount of anger. I would say anger is the primary ingredient.

I think upsetness can include sadnes and sadness can include upsetness, so they’re not mutually exclusive.

Yesterday, a good friend was upset that her son, who is getting married soon, had a big fight with his bride to be. She was sad and crying but she was mostly upset about the whole thing. To me, the word “upsetness” probably includes some frustration. I would describe it as “in a tizzy” because it doesnt’ have to mean sad, but it can, and it doesn’t have to mean frustrated, but it can.

Upset is a reaction to a specific situation and implies some turmoil to me. Sadness can be a reaction to a situation or just a condition but it is more quiet and a mood.

No. If I use the word “upset” I could mean being angry at someone or something.

Upset to me is agitated.
Sad is tearful.

No.

Upset tends to be temporary, usually with a specific cause. Its nature is more like anger or disturbance or irritation.

Sad I think of as tending to be an overall state often from a collection of sources, a broader and more general condition that tends to be longer-term. Its nature is more like unhappiness or grief or disappointment or regret or disillusionment.

Thanks! I gave everyone a GA.

I think my answer is most like @jca2,‘s but I also agree with most of the other answers. I use upset two ways. I use it as a reaction to a situation, but the reaction can be more tears than anger. I also use it to describe being sad. I understand using it to mean angry, but I rarely use it that way.

I remember learning somewhere that often times the underlying element of anger is being hurt or disappointed. That makes some sense to me.

My husband and I realized recently that we have been miscommunicating, because I use the word upset to mean I was disappointed and sad and just feeling badly about a circumstance, and he always interpreted upset as meaning angry. This has been 30 years of not really understanding each other when I was using the word. Maybe he learned upset as equivalent to anger in school, that I don’t know, but even native English speakers have different interpretations as seen on this thread.

No. One can be very upset and not be at all sad.

This has been 30 years of not really understanding each other when I was using the word.

I firmly believe that half of the problems we have in the world stem from miscommunication and/or misunderstanding. One person has a certain definition of a word in their minds (accurate or not), another person has a different one(accurate or not). Unless they explore their communication, there can be anger, hurt, and other very damaging results. Now multiply those issues by different languages, powerful people in governments, and already existing tensions between countries, and it’s actually amazing we haven’t blown up the earth yet. I wish more attention was paid to communication in school, beginning at an early age.

@smudges Absolutely. I took a communications class in college, and I think it should be taught in high school as a mandatory class. The class can help with every relationship we have, not just marriage, but parent child, at work, friends, and any interaction between two people. What I learned more than anything is that communication is messy and difficult and we often misunderstand each other.

^^ Yesss!