What are some "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" you were brought up with?

A girl shouldn’t be ready for a date when he rings the doorbell. You would appear too eager. <eyeroll>

ohmigosh!

*elbows off the table
*5 sheets of t.p.
*eat chicken with a knife and fork; you can pick it up with (only) two fingers when almost all of the meat is off the bone
*new candles must have a burnt end, so light it then snuff it out
*put candles out with a snuffer
*wipe the dogs paws when she comes in from the outside
*stay in our church clothes until after Sunday dinner, even if dinner is late and we don’t eat until 3pm
*have to wait until mom and dad get up to even go into the living room to look at the wonders of gifts – have to put a hand over our eyes when passing it to get to mom and dad’s room
*don’t ask santa for every dang thing we want
*have to wait until mom (or hostess) takes the first bite of food before we can begin eating
*hospital corners on the sheets and blanket when making the bed
*towels folded in triple when hanging
...and the list goes on.

^^ Wow! I really don’t remember any big shoulds and shouldn’ts from my folks; they were pretty easy going. My mother was fussy about how we cleared the table and getting the dishes done and she did like our speech to be correct. I was allowed to decide how I wanted to wear my hair when I was 12 and to get pierced earrings when I was 14. They were wacky in some ways but mainly talked to us about things and instilled good liberal values.

You shouldn’t be gay. God won’t love you, and you’ll go to hell.

Don’t ever stack the dishes when clearing the table. Don’t scrape all the plates onto one dish, carry them to the kitchen (it won’t hurt your legs to repeat the steps from the table to the kitchen).

Children are not excused from the table until dad’s tea has been poured.

You don’t need to get A’s in academics, but you damn well better get A’s in citizenship. Otherwise, you are disruptive in class.

Children should be seen and not heard.
Girls (should (and will be) judged mainly on A) their looks, B) their demure and impeccable behavior, and C) the quality of the men they associate with.
Always respect and defer to your elders.
There were a bunch of lesser ones, but mostly under the umbrella of the first three.

No wonder my mother didn’t like me.

- was taught not to point also.
– I was taught to treat others as I want to be treated.
– Hold the door for the person behind me. Not to let them go ahead, just so the door was handed to them. In some situations it was to let someone go ahead, like if they were much older, children, pregnant women, in some instances I we were expected to hold doors, give up our seats on public transportation, that sort of thing.
– Don’t put your feet out in the aisle on public transportation.
– let people get off a train or elevator before we try to get on. Same with going into a building, you let the people coming out, out first, before we go in if we are both at the door at the same time.
– Taught to say excuse me when we needed someone’s attention and to use please and think you.
– To be helpful.
– I saw my dad give people money when they needed change and he could not make change of a dollar. He would just give them the quarter needed. Many people did this for me over the years, and I have done it for others.
– My mom used to put money in a parking meter for other people if it was expired and they didn’t have a ticket yet. I’ve done, but I can only think of two times that I did it.
– To sit with my legs together.
– Don’t trust strangers.
– Don’t trust police, don’t go with them alone.
– Don’t eat candy from strangers.
– Don’t approach wild animals.
– Don’t leave the house without money or ID.
– Make sure someone knows where you are and when to expect you.
– Don’t walk alone in desolate areas.
– Keep your head up and pace up when walking.
– Keep your handbag zipped and across your body.
– Don’t block the stairs, don’t block the hallway, don’t block the doors.
– Look both ways when crossing the street.
– Don’t wear headphones when walking alone.
– Don’t wear headphones in the car.
– To be honest.
– Don’t swim alone.

I could probably come up with more.

Eat with your mouth closed.
Both hands on the table when eating.
If you have trouble remembering things, write them down.
You do not have to know everything, you just need to know where it is written down.
Walk on the side of the road opposing traffic.
Do not use your teeth.

@JLeslie I had many of the ones you had, except for the safety ones, but I was raised in a different time.

@zenvelo Yes! Never stack the plates and never scrape the contents of one to another at the table!

Don’t wear skirts that are see-through (I still use slips).
Don’t wear high heels with short skirts.
Don’t wear white pants/shoes after Labor Day.
Don’t show your shoulders in church (I was the only one of my generation who followed this one and the only non-Christian… go figure).
Always wear a lightly padded bra – don’t let your nipples show.

I was told that if I picked my fingernails that I would get cancer.

Oh gosh, such a long list and I was a good girl.
Eating with moth closed, no slurping.
No gum in class, church or events.
No pants in church, only dresses.
Act like a lady, not loud or fidgeting.
Never wear heels if you can’t walk like a lady.
Never wear sandals without your feet looking pretty.
Never sass your teacher or you’ll be punished at home 2x worse.
No backtalking parents or grands ever.
Obey and respect your elders
Treat everyone with kindness and a servants heart-as you’d be treated.
If someone bullies or hits you, fight to win.
Always pay cash, no loans.
If youre around a lifestyle or situation you have questions about, stay kind and ask at home in private.
Never ask mom if people can stay over unless it’s a private conversation.
Always keep a clean house, primarily for health but also as a habit.
Put a cap of bleach in your dishwater.
Never pull a gun unless you intend to use it.
Never take home more fish than you can eat. Always restock later.
Never touch papaws gun or whiskey.
Be kind to all God’s creatures.
Never go to town after dark alone.
Stay off the highway and Interstate when possible.
And the biggest-always stay on the good side of the law and the IRS. And God.

Don’t say “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” – because those aren’t words.

All rules should have good reasons for them, or they shouldn’t be rules.

You shouldn’t cut toward yourself, lest you cut yourself.

You shouldn’t use racial slurs, at least not seriously/meanly.

You shouldn’t hurt people’s feelings.

You should tell your parents where you’re going before going out on adventures away from the house.

@smudges Oh, so many safety ones. I didn’t even list, don’t wear dark clothing at night, don’t wear a hood when climbing on the monkey bars or climbing trees, don’t wear my name on my clothing or a neckless, don’t put a baby crib near the strings of venetian blinds, lock your car doors right away, check the car back seat before you get in, don’t leave valuables visible on a car seat, get out of the swimming pool if you hear thunder. I could go on and on. My mom knows everything that can go wrong, and in turn so do I. It never ceases to amaze me how many people go through life not contemplating what can go wrong. Mostly, it’s men who are oblivious, must be so nice to feel so safe and that nothing can go wrong. Plenty of women don’t think about many of those listed either.

My husband sometimes says he doesn’t know how I get out of bed in the morning, but I don’t walk around paranoid and worried all of the time, I just automatically do the things that I was taught and then I don’t need to think about it. I lock my door like other people put on their shoes. It is just automatic.

Be home for dinner at 5pm promply.
Be in when the street lights go on.
Always wear a raincoat. (nsfw=condom)

Dad: “You shouldn’t do that.” This was said in response to a story on the TV about someone streaking at a ball game.