In your opinion what do you consider a sex act?

And this question is about two consenting adults, but done in a public setting.

I wouldn’t consider grabbing a wife’s butt in public a “sex act”. To me, inappropriate touching is definitely something of a sexual nature involving the genitals which should not be done in public.

Any private or public display of affection resulting in a sexual thrill.
Are you taking about Lauren Boebert?

@filmfann, so if you kiss your spouse in public, that is, according to you, a sex act?

I think the question becomes “what is sex?” If touching your partner’s butt is considered sex to you then it would be a sex act. If you consider kissing, holding hands, etc to be on a par with full penetration then those are sex acts too.

I think any uncovered touching of genitalia would be a sex act. I’d even give you uncovered touching of a woman’s breasts. If clothes are on it is likely just a public display of affection. Some are more tacky than others, true, but I don’t call them sex acts.

Or hey, let’s go the same route as asking “what is a woman?” What is a sex act? A sex act is whatever someone identifies as a sex act. Not what YOU identify for them, what THEY identify.

That sounds more like foreplay.

I agree with @smudges.

Whatever the person suing you says it is.

There is no strict definition – picking your nose could be considered a sex act if someone takes offense. In the woke world we live in, there are impressions and perception – not a real objective set of criteria.

So, @SQUEEKY2 the answer is – any give action, no matter how innocent, can be construed as a sex act if someone wants it to be.

@Forever_Free Foreplay is a sex act.

I view any act done for sexual gratification of at least one person is a sex act. Squeezing someone’s butt is a sex act. Groping a breast, clothed or unclothed, is a sex act. Frottage is a sex act.

I was originally thinking of “under the clothes” but then I was thinking about dry humping which could definitely be a sex act.

I think it depends on context. Grabbing your wife’s (ie some one you know well) butt when she consents is probably not a sex act. Grabbing a strangers butt where they don’t consent is.

Does that mean you think of a sex act as only when it’s non-consensual, @Lightlyseared? If someone has sex and it’s consensual it’s not a sex act?

@jca2 of course not. But a lot of men seem to believe that they have the right to touch any woman any where they like at any time they like and that it’s entirely OK.
You may not think of grabbing your wife’s ass as sexual and therefore grabbing a strangers arse is also not sexual. But you would be surprised how many women would disagree with you

Question for those of you that believe squeezing a butt is a sex act: Does location matter? If a man squeezes his wife’s butt in the kitchen as a playful act, did they just have sex in the kitchen? Suppose he nuzzles her neck a little…nibbles an ear. Did they just have sex?

And by that rational, if a woman is out at the club and starts twerking to her partner, are they having sex?

I just looked up the legal definition of “sex act” for clarification.

This is from Cornell (www.cornell.law.edu):

sexual act
(1) Sexual act .— The term “sexual act” means— (A) the penetration, however slight, of the penis into the vulva or anus or mouth; (B) contact between the mouth and the penis, vulva, scrotum, or anus; or© the penetration, however slight, of the vulva or penis or anus of another by any part of the body or any object, with an intent to abuse, humiliate, harass, or degrade any person or to arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person.

@seawulf575 “having sex” is not the only “sex act” but the descriptions you gave about playful touching weren’t what I would consider a sex act, which was why I looked at the legal definition. Apparently, context matters, in addition to the type of touching/exchange.

My link was incorrect. Here’s the link:

https://www.law.cornell.edu/definitions/uscode.php?height=800&def_id=10-USC-968115028-1861686270&term_occur=999&term_src=title:10:subtitle:A:part:II:chapter:47:subchapter:X:section:920

The qualifier in my definition was “for sexual gratification.” That means grabbing my girlfriend’s butt as part of joking around is not a sex act, but grabbing it at breakfast as a signal to think about having sex this evening is.

@jca2 but the original question was about two consenting adults. @SQUEEKY2 clarified that with his first response to the question. And even your presented definition bears out my statements. However we do have some jellies that claim PDAs are a sex act, that “dry humping” is a sex act, even grabbing your wife’s butt is a sex act. None of those meet the definition.

When you change the question to what is appropriate contact with non-consenting adults, things change drastically.

@seawulf575 Oh ok, yes. I see he didn’t put those criteria in the actual q or the details, he put it in his first comment.

@seawulf575 There is a difference between affection and sexually satisfying activity.

@filmfann that’s why I posted the legal definition, to show that context seems to matter when the question is what’s the definition.

But the legal definition is pretty meaningless.

If someone can accuse you of a sexual act just on their own say-so – without proof or anything close to it—(think of any number of politicians, sports figures, business people, college students, etc.) – it doesn’t matter.

One person with a grudge can ruin a person’s life with an accusation, true or not. Was Al Franken (former senator, Minnesota, forced to resign) on the same level of evil as Harvey Weinstein?

Face it, when women accuse men these days, proof isn’t necessary.

@elbanditoroso Your original comment said “whatever the person suing you says it is” but the details from the OP @SQUEEKY2 specified that this is between two consenting adults, so then what is your definition? Everyone has very differing opinions on this thread.

@filmfann That is exactly my point. However that does not seem to be the consensus here. Let’s take your view point on your first answer as an example. You said “Any private or public display of affection resulting in a sexual thrill.”. Especially when I was dating my wife we would kiss in public. And it was exciting. You could call it a sexual thrill. I even got a thrill when I would catch sight of her. But I wouldn’t call these things sex acts. Your view seems to be if you feel any excitement when you touch someone you care about it is a sex act.

@zenvelo Foreplay can include things like kissing, cuddling, touching, or just talking

@Forever_Free Yes, and all those things are sex acts.

A sex act does not mean that one or more people orgasm, just that they get a gratification. When I kiss my girlfriend goodbye while she is sleeping and I leave for work, that is not a sex act. But when I pull her in close while she is cooking and we exchange a french kiss, that is a sex act.

Yes, I know. Nobody is disputing this.

@zenvelo I view any act done for sexual gratification of at least one person is a sex act.

That’s dangerous territory you’re wandering into unless you qualify it by saying it’s consensual.

…and we exchange a french kiss, that is a sex act

omg seriously?!

I think people are getting hung up on trying to define what a “sex act” is when it seems to me, at least, that the question is really about what physical behavior between two consenting people is appropriate or inappropriate to be done in public.

@janbb I believe there are things that are sex acts and there are Public Displays of Affection. PDAs often make others uncomfortable. Some, in my view, are tackier than others. But I don’t equate tacky to sex act and the question was specifically “what do you consider a sex act?”

^^^ Defined as GOP logic.^^^

Maybe grope logic ! ! !

Not being a lawyer, I’ve not had a need to use or think much about the term “sex act”. No one’s ever used it practically around me, except in this discussion right here, or maybe if I was listening to a crime drama or actual trial I was listening to, which I forget.

It seems like an unused term to me, outside of legal conversations, or by extension, some political conversations.

So I don’t see any value in considering what someone might mean by it outside a legal conversation, except/unless someone actually does use it. Is it used in religious contexts?