Is it rude to ask for salt when a guest at a dinner?

I’m in the same boat once a month, same social situation, book club dinner. I don’t ask – I don’t know if it’s rude but I don’t want to insult the hostess or have her thinking that the food is subpar.

Maybe it’s the cultural difference, but I don’t see how it can be rude. People here ask for things like that all the time and there is no hard feeling.

Not at all. You can ask for salt and or pepper. Now when you start to add things like whole seasonings and or things like ketchup on a steak, then that’s different. Some cooks go light on the salt or exclude pepper in meals because they are trying to please people with different palates or health issues. When I’m serving food to people who have to watch their salt intake, I pull back on the salt. Or people who can’t have pepper. So if it is reasonable to add salt or pepper to the dish, then I take no offense. But I knew someone who added a ton of ketchup and hot sauce to almost every meal and I found that offensive, even when I wasn’t the one who cooked. I actually told this person to just pour their hot sauce in a cup and drink that instead since ultimately that is all they are tasting.

So long as you don’t drown the food in salt, not a problem. I personally like to be able to add salt to my plate at the end of the day. You can add salt at any time. You can’t easily get rid of over-salted food.

Some people may get offended but a good host wants you to enjoy your meal and realizes that some people like their food a little bit saltier than others. I rather they do this than ask for something sweet or a lot of water because the food is too salty. Also a good host or hostess will always have the basics on the table. Salad dressing for salads, salt and pepper and any other condiments that usually would go with the dishes served. If its on the table than it is there to be used.

The Buddha died from politely eating a meal that was bad at a poor man’s house.

Your friends reactions are out of your control. They would not mind as they would not be your friend as they already know your quirks. If they mind than be thankful to find out incompatibility early on.

Asking for salt is minor. Not like you asked for a vomit bag. Which should be ok with a true friend.

You might be happier in the long run to be yourself. You can choose between being happy, being yourself, or bring popular keeping secrets. It is rarely that cut, and dry. It is usually on a spectrum between the two poles.

Of course not. “Please pass the salt”
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If it were family or close friend, I’d just get some salt. If it’s a social situation like you describe, I’d request the salt, but in a self-deprecating way (e.g. “I’ve got no class, I like my soup as salty as the sea!”).

A good hostess will have a salt and pepper shaker at each end of the table. If there is none, I wouldn’t ask unless I was pretty close to the hostess and felt comfortable asking.

Remember the good ole days when each place setting had a small salt cellar with a tiny spoon? ;) Actually, I love that idea! Those spoons were adorable!

No, it would be rude to ask for salt before tasting it. After tasting it it’s fine.

I think it’s ok to ask, but I understand your reluctance. Many people cook low salt for many reasons, especially older people, so if you prefer more salt I would ask.

I think what would be better is if the host made a point to offer salt or at least have it on the table.

My grandmother had beautiful salt bowls/cellars for formal dinners. When my grandmother died both my sister and I wanted them. There weren’t many things we both wanted.

@Caravanfan nailed it, I believe. When someone cooks a dish, they understand that people don’t all have the same preferences in taste. They will expect some might want a little more salt/pepper and some will feel it is too salty already. But they cook it to a level that they believe it tastes best.

When you eat the food someone took the time to prepare for you, it is polite to always taste the food first. But if you taste it and feel it needs salt, ask for it then.

@Caravanfan @seawulf575 Of course. I would never ask for salt before tasting it.

@Dutchess_III There was no salt on the table. As a matter of fact, there was no table – we were sitting around in the living room with mugs of soup.

I believe that condiments should ALWAYS be available on the dinner table.

The fact that condiment is available to use does not mean it has to be used but is simply available for those who want it.

I also think that if salt and other condiments are not on the table it is definitely not rude to ask for it to be provided.

Salt and Pepper are normal personal additions. It is available in every restaurant on the table. It is not an affrontive to the chef. This is not rude at all. Even asking for Red Pepper, extra grated cheese, Tabasco is normal and can be asked at a home hosted event.
The host should want you to have the best tasting experience.

Absolutely. You insult my cooking by asking for salt, and you have just forsaken your right to live, and have volunteered to be the main protein in tomorrow’s stew.

Not if salt is on the table. If there is no salt on the table, it’s fine to ask the host if it is possible to get salt. The more formal the dinner, the more likely I would deal without having the salt.

Asking for salt is not rude in my sphere nor would I be insulted as a hostess/cook. I often tell people they may need salt as I err on the side of caution when cooking for a group.

^^ Many answers are very good, but yours is perfect, imo.

Another consideration is the setting. We were thinking it was a sit down dinner and it was cups of soup in the living room. Far more informal. Asking for salt would have been wholly appropriate.

@seawulf575 But it would have made the host get up and go to the kitchen. Also, they pride themselves on their cooking. I’m not disagreeing, I’m just saying some of the factors that were in my thinking.

@janbb I wouldn’t want to insult them, as I said in my comment, but if I felt salt was really necessary, in the scenario like when you’re all eating in the living room, I’d probably jump up and go into the kitchen myself, while saying “I’m just looking for salt.” I’m assuming you’re friendly enough and it sounds like a casual dinner, where the host wouldn’t be horrified at the thought. I might not rummage around in their cabinets, but I’d be looking on the counter for the salt shaker. I try to be a guest that is self sufficient and so I’m the one going to get another napkin for myself or something like that, instead of asking the host to get me things.

IMO, no. It is rude to not have a salt and pepper shaker on the table for diners.