Do you know why I have these fears?

Thank you for bringing your thoughts to us. It took courage to open yourself to what we might say.

Fear is normal. It is part of being a human animal. All living beings experience fear on some level. It’s natural.

Fear becomes a problem when it interferes with everyday life. If your fears are so extreme that you refuse to use a public restroom under any circumstances, that’s a problem that should be discussed in detail with a professional of some type.

I used to be scared of parking lots. I lived in a town without adequate public transportation, so I had to drive places and then naturally park in a lot. I gradually taught myself to not fear parking lots in a few ways.

First, I decided exactly which lane in the lot I would park in. I would drive down that lane and park in the very first open stall. It didn’t matter how far the stall was from the door. I parked in the first one. If there were no open stalls in that lane, I left without going into the building.

Gradually, I enlarged where I would allow myself to search. It was slow, and it took a very long time. It took years actually. Now, I can state that I’m cautious in parking lots, but I’m not afraid any more. I no longer have to coax myself through the process of finding parking.

Perhaps you could think of a similar approach to your fears.

This process is called desensitization. It a valid way to accustom yourself to face fears that you want to overcome.

You asked us why you have these fears. That’s impossible for us to know. Sometimes, the reason is quite obscure. Perhaps you saw a movie that scared you. We really can’t know.

(Whatever you do, don’t ask this question on a site like Reddit. You will get wild answers that will be completely unhelpful.)

Do your parents have similar fears or gave you cautions when you were growing up about bathrooms and plants? Those type of cautions are pretty common and logical, maybe you just expanded it in your head.

Great answer from @Hawaii_Jake !

I would add, cautiously, that people can sometimes recall where their fears come from, but that can take some work, and might lead to some further upsets (or maybe not). As Jake wrote, we can’t know, but you might be able to remember where it came from. The thing is, the circumstances that led to it don’t apply to the present, but our mental/emotional organization often gets set and then we have strong reactions to things in the present that aren’t really about the present situation.

There are plenty of things that can happen (or that can inspire the imagination and fear) with both public bathrooms, and with (or just near) large plants, especially to a young child. My guess is that part of you decided to build a fear response to protect you, which got a lot of emphasis behind it, and stuck around.

You’re not alone, if that’s any comfort. I’m scared of fiddlehead ferns and African violets.

I was terrified to use the washrooms for years after I saw the Ghoulies front cover picks for the horror show.

I was scared of plants after I heard about poison ivy.

I stopped drinking milk in grade 6 after my substitute teacher said that, “If you leave milk out of the fridge that he could see the tapeworms coming out of the glass”.

We are human. Being human is a chronic
fatal condition.

Most bathrooms have only one door—one means of escape. If an evil person is coming at you, you have limited options.

Another reason: most bathrooms have doors on the stalls. You have no idea who is in a stall waiting, and what they might do to you. The nature of a stall is to hide you… meaning that a malefactor could be hiding as well.

Finally, there’s the odor factor. Bathrooms – especially in public buildings – smell. No matter how much janitorial service there is, people are doing smelly things in a bathroom, and there is some residual odor.

Plants really bother me when I’m in water, and there’s underwater foliage. I don’t like walking/wading/swimming through stuff like that. I’ve fell into some super nasty swamps, while canoeing/fishing.

Mostly, I like being around plants…

May I ask, are certain plants “scarier?” Thorny, wet, sticky, irritants, or like leaf size/type?

Although it is certainly not unknown that some people are afraid of plants it is extremely unusual to have a fear of bathrooms and restrooms.

I note that being in a bathroom or a restroom with someone does not affect you so much or if you know the surroundings.

Virtually everyone has a phobia of one kind or another such as spiders cats, dogs, height, enclosed spaces etc.

Recovering from phobias can be extremely difficult and the best way to overcome them I have found is willpower. Another way you may be able to get help is by consulting a psychotherapist.

There is no stigma attached to seeing a psychotherapist and you don’t have any mental issues.

I know about phobias because I had one right through my childhood right up to my mid 20s.

In my case when I was about 6 I unknowingly put my knee into a bees nest in the hedge and was stung at least 5 times. From that time and until I was about 25 I was petrified of bees and hornets etc.

Finally I realised I must get over this phobia and and started reading as much as I could about the life of bees. After that I watched documentaries about bees. I learned that bees are the most wonderful creatures and they are miraculous.

Slowly I started getting closer and closer to bees when on flowers or airborne.

Now I am have absolutely no fear of these flying creatures and in fact bees have landed on my skin and I do not flinch.

I have also worked with apiarists in the care of bees and it bid not worry me in the least.

All this took about 2 years to overcome my fear but it was well worth it.

It shows that phobias can be overcome.

The very best of luck and I hope you do manage to overcome your phobias.