What is some good advice?
For any situation.
Humor welcome.
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58 Answers
First your socks, then your shoes.
Remove the shells after you’ve cracked the eggs.
Don’t throw dental flossers on the street.
Don’t brush your teeth with a brick.
Be true to yourself.
...and…
Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Don’t brush your teeth with a soup spoon.
Shooting someone in the back is the safest way.
Live by the pen die from the pen.
Put your pants on two legs at a time. The other way is simply boring.
There is actually a really easy way to tell if a house is haunted: It is not.
Shoes last twice as long if only worn every other day.
A little higher. There. Good.
@flutherother but they wear more evenly if you alternate wearing the left shoe on the right foot, and vice versa.
No matter how bad things get, at the end of the day, it is night.
People with beards are just people without beards, with beards.
A real man will ruin your lipstick, not your mascara.
unless you are into that sort of thing.
Double the battery life of an iPhone by putting the f*!&** thing down.
Don’t sweat the petty stuff, and don’t pet the sweaty stuff.
Unless you are very,very fast it’s much better to sharpen the lawn mower when it’s shut off.
Don’t eat the yellow snow.
I heard this from an old man on some oil rig show on TLC or something.
“Don’t put yur fangers anywhere ya wouldn’t put yur Pecker.”
If you never worked construction, or don’t have a penis, it’s just not gonna hit you right.
Don’t spit Iinto the wind.
Don’t pull the mask off the Lone Ranger
^And you don’t mess around with Jim? Slim?
Either one, do do do da deed dee!
^My parents had that tape. I heard it often when I was a boy. We traveled a lot. I hadn’t thought of it in years.
Thanks Dutch!
Mr Grim, your post answering the OP is utterly offensive.
“Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious, and however difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. It matters that you don’t just give up.” Stephen Hawking
Always know the locations of the exits.
@Hawaii_Jake Apologies. I somehow have that effect.
Peace n Love?
My personal mantra is…
Be Thoughtful,
Be Productive,
Be Mindful
My favorite MCU Nick Fury advice is…
Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.
Do unto others then split!
Get your checkups – mammogram, colonoscopy, blood tests for vitamin levels, all that.
. . 42: The answer to life, the universe and everything.
Avoid acronyms. They lead to odd statements like:
When a Snafu causes things to be Fubar, get ready to Bohica.
Sailors also felt NAVY was an acronym: Never Again Volunteer Yourself
Smelling your finger in public is never acceptable. Asking someone else to smell it is even worse.
No matter where you go, there you are.
@jca2 Agreed. So many avoid them due to stress then find theyre in late/end stage. Very sad
@SnipSnip Spitting coffee at your electronics is not good. That’s some more good advice!
Oh.
Wipe front to back…
I have neices and nephews, and grand nephews/nieces.
I think it’s more important for girls?..
Most dishwashers have only one heating element, and it’s at the bottom. So putting rubber or delicate things in only the top rack actually makes sense.
(I learned this yesterday, way too late in life.)
It has to do with trying to prevent UTIs @MrGrimm888 which females are far more prone to. The idea is to wipe away from the anus rather than dragging bacteria toward the urethra. :D.
^That’s actually kind of what I figured. Thanks you for explaining that Dutch.
They can kill, you especially when you get older
Share your gain, not your pain
Do not put an orange douchebag in a white house
^^ Nor a White Douchebag in an orange House either.
Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope. – Freewheelin’ Franklin
You don’t have to live very far below your means to get a whole lot of security.
Be aware of moments and be fully present. Time is sneaky. You won’t know when it’s the very last time you do something.
Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
Point to the person next to you before farting.
Those who have 3rd World skills will earn 3rd World wages – Lester C. Thurow
Some bad advice:
Do onto other’s before they do onto you.
Don’t do today what you can put off till tomorrow.
Remember the golden rule. He who owns the gold rules.
Some good advice:
If you have to decide between cutting the cable or power, cut the cable as it is useless without power.
In Canada, pay the heat first, than the water, as the pipes will burst from the cold.
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