If you had cancer, or another potentially terminal illness, what criteria would you use to decide whether you wanted treatment?

I think my age would be a big factor, the type of cancer and the stage of cancer would all play into my decision. If I were 80, I might feel differently about treatment than if I were 50. If it was stage 4, I might decide not to treat it, rather than if it were stage 1.

I’d also have to discuss with the oncologist.

I think it’s one of those things that’s hard to really accurately guess how you’d feel and what decisions you’d make until/unless you were actually in the situation.

My mom had stage 4 breast cancer when she was diagnosed, and she lived six years with getting treatment. Even though the treatment was not easy by any means, she was in remission for a good part of it and she experienced a lot of good times during those six years – great trips, family events, etc. It was only in the last six months that she was not looking so well, and in the last two months she looked very weak and infirm.

I guess age, and how progressed it was.
If early and not that old go for treatment.

Age.
If I had young children.
How effective the treatment would be.
How horrible or not so horrible the treatment is.

Mainly side effects, and pain.

In my mid-40s I had cancer that, with treatment, there was a probability of 60% chance of survival with some fairly harsh medical protocols. At that age, as single parent of a young child, it was a no brainer.

Almost 25 years later some symptoms came back and I feared a recurrence. I had all the tests and scans, drank all the barium, hung out, once again, in the oncology wards, and thought long and hard about having to revisit those rather debilitating treatments and adding to the nasty permanent damages they caused. I was (at almost 70) seriously considering the route your BIL has taken.

The thought of going through that fatigue again, the cognitive impairment, all the basic crap, ugh.

I’m fine, BTW. Whew.

I am sorry your family has had to deal with that, it is very rough for them.

In a situation like the one described I’d go the same route. We all die in the end. Doing something that might extend that period for even a few years but took away your joy of life would not be something I would want. My family can save the money the doctors and hospitals would have taken, they can save themselves the extended period of worry and stress, they can avoid seeing me miserable from the treatments. We could all focus on just enjoying life while it is there.

Weighing the Quality of life with care versus without care.

I’‘ve thought about this a lot, watching my mother fight stage 4 breast cancer for 12 years. Unless its very early, I’d likely choose palliative care/ no treatment. My reasoning would be quality of life vs quantity, and a natural death is my preference.

Thank you all for your thoughtful answers. They are greatly appreciated.

My answer has changed as I have aged. At 50 I would have said fight, fight, fight! Now, at 60, I would have to know my chances of survival and the effects of treatment.