What are some funny short songs that you heard as a child? (NSFW)

Great green gobs of itty bitty birdy feet
Bow legged monkey meat
All stirred up in one big bowl
And I forgot my spoon.
(There’s another line, but I can’t remember it)

@ RedDeerGuy1 It’s hard to believe you live in a bilingual country with mandated French and you can’t write the words to Frere Jacques.

The only “joke” song around when I was a kid was They’re Coming To Take Me Away

The other stuff you cited is just elementary school doggerel made up at summer camps.

My grandmother used to sing to me “Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy, a kid’ll eat ivy too, wouldn’t you.”

@zenvelo I spent my 10 minutes looking for the correct spelling of Diarrhea. I’m still learning French online.

Also I do not know the rules of NHL face-offs. Why they wave players out of the circle.

Also I don’t drink beer.

My mandated French was grades 4–6. Also I learned was je ne quiz pas a la twollete.

Auto correct sorry again. I ran out of time.

The man who invented autocorrect may he restaurant in peace.

The Hearse Song
........
the worms crawl out, the worms crawl in
The worms that crawl in are lean and thin
The ones that crawl out are fat and stout
Your eyes fall in and your hair falls out
Your brain comes tumbling down your snout

It’s A Gas!

Geschwisterliebe (sibling love), and Claudia hat ‘nen Schäferhund (Claudia owns a German shepherd dog), both by ‘Die Ärzte’.
And yes, it is exactly what you think.

All of a sudden a great mealy pudden (Pudding)
Came flying through the air
It hit Mrs Kelly right in the belly
And knocked her down the stair.

My grandmother also used to sing “swim little fishies, swim if you can, swim swim swim all over the dam.” I didn’t know it was an actual song until I was about 40 and I was listening to a radio show that featured old songs, and they played it. The original version is from 1939.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=541HKD8alfg

I don’t remember particularly funny songs from when I was a kid, but from my teen years:

Spam because the words are so easy to remember

The Scotsman Song because it’s just too much fun.

Skinny Little Boy because it was just such a party song, having grown up in the Cleveland OH burbs

Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost over night?

Happy birthday to you
You belong in a zoo
With the lions and tigers
And the elephants too

Isn’t if a riot?
__’s on a diet
But it doesn’t matter
Cause he’s getting fatter

I’m Popeye the sailor man
I live in a garbage can
I smell like a skunk
Cause I eat all the junk
I’m Popeye the sailor man

Mine eyes have seen the glory
Of the burning of the school
We have tortured every teacher
We have broken every rule

My country ‘tis of thee
Sweet land of Germany
My name is Fritz
I am a German spy
Caught by the FBI
Tomorrow I will die
Good-bye cruel world