When you greet someone with a how are you today?

Yes, I do. As someone in recovery, checking in with each other is a normal part of a day. It is not perfunctory at all.

Of course not. The other side knows that, too. That is why the answer is always “fine”, “not too bad”, or “could be worse”. The asker does not want to ask that question, and the answerer does not want to answer it either, but both sides feel obliged to play their parts, as expected from society, thankfully with minimum effort.
And I swear to god, if you go into detail about how your day is/ask follow up questions to prod, I WILL kill you.

@ragingloli Do you promise?

I am being hyperbolic.

@ragingloli I am being tongue in cheek.

Depends on the context. It’s a small social contract with the cashier at Costco, we both say “fine”.
It’s a sincere inquiry with my friends.

I also truly care and generally only ask my close friends. One was just asked for a divorce after only a year of marriage so I’m going to see him tonight to cheer him up. Such a precious heart on this guy.

I am learning not to spam my dr when she asks me how im doing outside in the waiting room. I usually say “fine” with everyone else. Unless I need help.

I do unload to my doctor with everything in the office. Though I am learning to only mention the worst problems that she can fix. If we have extra time then I mention other stuff.

In some cases it is a nicety. In others I really care. But in all cases, if the person feels so inclined as to fill me in on how they are, I listen. I asked the question, I don’t find it off-putting for someone to answer it honestly.

@RedDeerGuy1 I particularly love that question when you are at the doctor’s office or, worse yet, the hospital. When someone asks “How are you?” in, say, the waiting room, I have gotten to where I usually answer with something like “I’m at the Doctor’s office. That should be the start of the answer.”

The one I really get annoyed with is when you are leaving the doctor’s office or the hospital and one of the staff says “Bye! Come again!”.

I no longer ask people, “How are you?,” because the question’s become very perfunctory; nobody expects a reply beyond, “Fine.” Instead, I just say, “good morning,” “hello,” “or some other greeting.

No. I just say ‘HI what’s your name!”

Yes, but I rarely ask how someone is doing as part of a “hello.” I’ve always loved responding with “I’ve been better.”

@SnipSnip I usually reply with I’m alive.

I’m “down south.”

Being polite, is mandatory.

It’s how we can tell, if someone is “from up north.” If they are rude. And here, not being polite IS rude. If you let a door slam on someone at a gas station, you may end up in a fight. It’s disrespectful.

You hold doors. Yes ma’am. No ma’am. Respect your elders, especially women. You say please, and thank you.
I call dogs sir, or ma’am.

If a roach tries to walk into my house, I push him a bit with my foot and say “no sir!”

It’s amusing, when northerners get caught talking to a big country fella. They hate the conversation, but they aren’t dumb enough to piss off “Bubba.”

IF, I ask someone how they’re doing, I generally do give at least one fuck. If not, I won’t speak.

Where I’m from, we say “how you doin?” That is a general greeting. You have to say it with a Bronx accent. That’s my accent.

I will say that to people in grocery stores, like the cashier, and sometimes they’re distracted and sometimes they will actually answer.

Sometimes I will ask people like customer service on the phone. What I ask, which is what my daughter will ask me, is “how is your day going?”

Of course some of us just say, how you doing?

Sometimes, If I’m feeling froggy, I’ll respond to “How are you?” with “I am not unwell, thanks.”

I work in in a hospital, so I find it humorous when anyone asks a patient, “How are you doing?”

??

“Well, I’m in the hospital emergency department, is that a clue?”

“Besides the cancer, terrific!”

I actually make these jokes in front of the patients. Or set up the gag so they can finish it. Despite all my clients being sick or injured, they are overwhelming gracious and chatty. The exceptions are those unconscious or in extreme pain. Been on the job two months, out of hundreds, only one patient has been unpleasant, and he was merely rude.

^^^ Silly him. I have spent a lot of time in medical settings and I always try to be at least pleasant to people who have the power to hurt me. ;-)