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JLeslie's avatar

If you die, do have instructions for a loved one or friend to write about it on fluther?

Asked by JLeslie (65743points) May 14th, 2024

Many of us have been here a long time, and we care about each other. I know I would want to know if a jelly passed away. Sometimes jellies disappear and we don’t know what happened.

Have you left instructions for friends or family to write on fluther or other social media that you are gone? As a courtesy to your online friends.

If you have left instructions, are they written down somewhere or just oral instructions of your wishes?

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16 Answers

filmfann's avatar

I am friends with several jellies on Facebook. It will be known.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Like @filmfann, I am friends with a number of jellies in real life. I will tell them to inform the group of my death. This question is a good nudge to do that. Without specific instructions, they might not know what to do.

jca2's avatar

I’m also on Facebook so it will become known to friends and the word will spread.

I said once on a thread about this very topic a few years ago that I think it’s for this reason that it may be helpful to give a trusted Jelly or two our contact information if we’re not friends with a bunch on social media. I often wonder about Jellies from the past who have disappeared, and if they’re ok and left for some other (personal) reason or if they died. I do know of some that died, like Gail, Adirondack, the Crow and a handful of others, but some who were actively engaged and then just disappeared, I always wonder if they’re alive and ok or deceased. Some who left Fluther but we’re friends on FB, or friends of friends, it’s comforting to know that they’re ok.

Even though we may argue sometimes (or a lot of the times), we’re a small group and we are a community.

JLeslie's avatar

I’m thinking I will give my husband’s or sister’s name and phone number to a jelly friend. @jca2’s answer made me realize a jelly is more likely to follow through in a timely manner than a family member.

chyna's avatar

Same as @filmfann. I give permission to those I’m friends with on Facebook and here to let the jellies know when I die.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Same as @chyna. @JLeslie or @Dutchess_III will know. Ya’ll can add me anytime, I’m much nicer in RL than arguing/debating. :)

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Would you really care if this canuck kicked the bucket??

Blackwater_Park's avatar

I do not. There is a single jelly on my FB that would be able to find out though.

Smashley's avatar

I do not. My friends and family will know, and maybe I’ll get a little obit in the local paper, but I’m perfectly happy just disappearing from online spaces.

cookieman's avatar

No, but it’s part of a larger “When I Die” plan that’s on my To Do List. I’m hoping to put it together this Summer.

rebbel's avatar

For all you know I could be dead.
Well, before you read this answer, that is.

If I die (that’s a big if) Fluther wouldn’t hear about it.

So, anyone who has/had something nice to say, say it now.

I’ll wait ;-)

chyna's avatar

I lurve you @rebbel!

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@rebbel I am jealous of your girlfriend. I’m sure you’re a good looking man. (Don’t die.)

rebbel's avatar

Love you all back! <3

MrGrimm888's avatar

I have told a couple close friends, but I don’t know if they would actually do anything.

My nephew was trolling me here, years ago, so he knows of the sight and asks about it occasionally. He would probably be the only one who might get word to here.

I am pleasantly NOT on Facebook, or really any other social media accept Fluther.
Although this has led to some social struggles, I believe that the freedom of not having to run my own PR campaign has been a much richer lifestyle.

I know that I was gone, for awhile, when I was dying from liver failure. I eventually did make it back, and at least explain my absence.
But. I expected to die.

Years ago, my family lived “out in tha country.” And our family dog, eventually took his new freedom to the extent of never coming back home.
We didn’t see a reason to put him in a fence, or anything because he was an old obedient dog. He also was never neutered. And so, he occasionally ran off to tend to his needs, but always came back after he got laid.

In the country, he just stayed gone. I used to think I heard him crying in the woods, and spent many nights alone looking through the Francis Marion National Forrest in the dark calling his name.
It consumed me briefly then, and I set out in search of him one summer.
Several miles, and what seemed like a hundred dirt roads into the swamp, I found him on a big farm. He was amongst about a dozen other dogs, all laying around in the Sun.
We embraced, and he was very happy to see me. I cried to him, and he seemed to tell me “I’m happier here.”
I tried to get home to follow me back, and he did. But he was gone the next morning. Likely back to the farm, with his ladies.

I never found out, what happened to him. Obviously, with the time frame, he has long passed on. But. In my mind, I still see him living on that farm out there. Happy. As he deserved.

To some degree, I prefer that type of separation. Where the outcome is ultimately unknown, but can be whatever I am comfortable accepting as reality.

I have been here long enough, to see some great jellies transition.
Each time, it hurt me, as if they were an old friend. Even the ones who I didn’t get along with.

For those who melt away, I can always hope they found their farm….

And as I do feel close to ALL of you, like it or not, I will close as I always do.

Peace and love.

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