How to prevent husband from giving a friend a gift when the friend doesn't care for them?

I’m missing the point I guess. What personal boundary was being crossed? That your husband was trying to give them a gift? That the friend doesn’t like chocolate? Was the note offensive?

With what you have given it sounds like you have an issue, not your husband or your friend. We have all gotten gifts that we didn’t like. Most of us accept them with grace, understanding the giver was putting forth a kind gesture to us. You said yourself you husband crossed some imaginary boundary he was unaware of so his intentions are not an issue. That means either your friend is so self-centered that she would hold it against your husband (and possibly you) or you believe your friend is this way. Sounds very screwed up.

Don’t throw the stuff away. If you believe there is offence that will be taken, talk to your husband about what that offence might be. Let him decide. I have to say someone in this situation sounds very childish and it is not your husband.

Thanks, I can’t really explain the situation clearly here.

Don’t need anymore answers.

Your husband is attempting to do something to apologize for his unintended offense.
Pass his effort along and support his intent. Let the other person decide for themselves.
It is not your place to circumvent all this. Just support him. This is no different than your apology to your Niece that you posted several years ago.

Sounds like you should eat the chocolates and throw away the card; your husband will never be the wiser.

I don’t think it’s your issue to decide. I think you should just pass the note and the gift to your friend as from your husband and let her react as she will. If she has a reaction to it one way or the other, she should convey it herself. You shouldn’t be in the role of mediator or censor.

You’re the messenger so deliver the message and let the chips fall where they may.

Wife, stay out of it.

An apology gift is a kind gesture so why wouldn’t you support your husband? Perhaps your friend should relent if it was unintended and evolve, and as your friend you should encourage personal growth in both parties.

Thank you everyone, no more responses are needed. I can’t properly explain the situation hence it’s not clear. Thank you,