What parts of life can you control?

I can control very little. Because I have childhood trauma, I can’t control all of my emotional reactions to situations. However through years of careful work, I can control my actions after I’ve left the emotions pass. That doesn’t always work though. Sometimes the trauma response is strong and automatic. It happened recently when my partner leaned in very close to my face.

I can control how I treat people and how I behave in public and in private.

When people act like jerks (for example, verbally abusing store and restaurant staff), and others say “don’t judge them because you don’t know what they’re going through” or “you don’t know what kind of a day they had,” ummm, yes, I don’t know but I know that I’ve had some really shitty days and yet I still don’t act like a jerk towards people. I don’t yell and scream at them and freak out because my latte doesn’t have the right amount of milk in it or whatever.

I can only control how I react.

I can control how I act & how I react to what to what others do. I have NO control over death. I don’t like it when someone dies; however, I can choose to remember them fondly in place of being distraught that I physically lost them. As long as I have happy memories, I find it easier to accept than stressing over the fact that their body isn’t with me which in turn keeps them with me until I die!!!

Me, myself, and I.

“What are some things that you can worry about in your control?”

I’m not looking for them

Can you control how the government works day to day? No.

Can you control how other people think or speak? No.

Can you control your neighbor deciding to put his barking dog out at 7 in the morning until 9 at night? No. You might end up training them to not do that, but their decision is their decision.

Can you control the idiotic driver that cuts you off? No.

All these things are things other people do. You can never fully control what other people do. Can you control what you have for breakfast? Yes.

Can you control how late you stay up in the evening? Yes.

Can you control how you drive? Yes.

Can you control what you say or think? Yes.

All the things that you do, all the decisions you make, all of your reactions to things are all the parts of your life you can control.