How do you believe in God?

I went to Mass on Saturday for a school project. I don’t know why, I ended up buying a Bible and a Bible study book, where it takes you through the whole Bible in a year. (Yes, I know Catholic bible is different but I think I have a regular(?) one. It says ERV).

I read Genesis 1–4. I am struggling. Both times I have attended church it has made me cry, I have been thinking about this a lot since I went on Saturday. I cannot explain why I am doing this.

I am so frustrated because I want to understand. But I cannot.

I was not raised with religion, I know nothing about it. Before Saturday, I was very against all of this. It makes no sense the world was created in 6 days. Adam and Eve makes no sense, I do not understand the Cain and Abel deal. I am so lost.

For someone like me, who is so so new to this, how do I understand? I do not know how to change my mind on this, this is such a huge change from my current belief system. I want to learn though.

This Study does not make it any easier, either. It wants me to read Genesis 1–29 and then answer questions about my faith. But how when I have no faith? I don’t even know how to pray?

I am having a spiritual crisis here it is upsetting me so much.