On your wedding day, would you care if a guest wore white or something showy?

Easy answer for me. No. Come barefoot, I don’t care.

I have heard that guests that are ladies aren’t supposed to wear white.

It used to be that ladies also shouldn’t wear black, they should wear a color, but for at least the past 20 years, I notice that ladies, including me, will wear black and also pants are no longer taboo.

I’ve been at weddings wear younger guests will have dresses on with dressy flip flops (actual flip flops, not dress shoes that are slides).

I think rules are relaxed now so almost anything goes, unless it’s a very formal venue.

It don’t matter to me…

The issue is that it’s assumed people would be respectful and automatically know these things.

So it’s either an uneducated person, or a person desperately seeking attention or trying to make a statement.

I’d be annoyed/pissed on behalf of my wife if a woman showed up wearing white or in a dress that caused my wife negative feelings on her special day (and she’s a reasonable person about that kind of stuff, so it would have to be pretty extreme). I personally don’t get offended by that stuff, but if it hurt someone I love, that’s a different story. It’s a moot point because my wife and I had a tiny wedding in my parents backyard with family and just a few close friends, so I’m trying to answer the hypothetical case.

Answering my own Q.

All I was taught was about dress length and for men tuxedo, suit, or casual.

I was a teenager when a cousin of mine got married. A lot of the women commented her bridesmaid’s dresses were stunning and they looked better than the bride. The dresses she picked for her bridesmaids were absolutely gorgeous, black with a small amount of sequin, and expensive. The bride’s parents helped the women pay for the dresses. I didn’t understand what the gossipy women were talking about, the wedding party looked beautiful to me and the bride was THE BRIDE. My attention was of course drawn to my cousin.

When I was getting married, one of my guests called me to see if it would be ok to wear a white dressy pants suit. When she asked it, I thought she was worried the pants were not appropriate. I responded, “yes of course, you can wear pants.” She said, “I just want to make sure you don’t mind if I wear white.” That was the first time it was brought to my attention that white might be a no no. I reassured her it was fine.

At my wedding almost my entire family and several guests wore black without me dictating anything. I never would have thought twice about someone wearing black.

If someone looked great at my wedding I would think it was great. My superficial thought would be: pretty people at my wedding.

Revealing clothes I would just ignore it as the person not knowing better. If she was literally braless and practically flashing boobage I might think she has got to go if it is making guests very uncomfortable.

I think @Blackberry is basically correct, they don’t know or are trying to make a statement. I naturally assume they just don’t know or have different expectations in their social circles.

I remember a wedding I went to about 10 years ago, in the Bronx, I wore black pants and a white blouse that was kind of long and had a sash. The blouse was probably more like a cream color. Nobody cared.

@jca2 Sounds beautiful. I would never think that outfit would be a problem.

The reason I came across these etiquette articles and youtubes was because I was googling wedding attire for the wedding I’m attending in Colorado. Just checking if above the knee is still ok for “cocktail.” I would prefer to wear a different dress I have that is longer, but I don’t fit in it! Lol. I don’t want to spend money on something new, and it’s too late now anyway.

@JLeslie I think you’ll be fine with above the knee. There’s a lot of variety in what people wear to weddings know a days.

If you’re about to get married and your future spouse makes a big fuss about this, I think it’s advisable to call it off and run.

@janbb Thanks. I wasn’t sure for a northern October wedding, but I’m going to just hope it’s ok. In Florida or the Caribbean I wouldn’t think twice about it.

At my wedding I wore a cream satin gown. My groom, groomsman and bridesmaid wore soft gray and dusty rose. Perfect so far, right?

Here comes my mil in vibrant turquoise. Any pastel would have been better.

The wedding part didn’t bother me, it was all of those photographs they take! She jumps right out of the picture in her electric turquoise. I assume she didn’t know about the rules, or figured she was ok since she didn’t wear white. Everyone else in the wedding party is dressed subtly. She and her family were educated people. This many years later it doesn’t matter at all, but those pictures! LOL

I don’t think I’d mind if an attendee wore something a little inappropriate as long as the wedding party were a good fit.

@smudges I completely understand the photo thing. If I noticed I was dressed very differently than everyone else I would always go to the back of the group photo if there were two rows so people wouldn’t see my dress.

Did you inform people to wear pastels or light colors? My niece specifically asked people to wear beach colors and not to wear black or very dark hues. Probably a lot of people think turquoise is similar to pastels, they don’t really understand the difference.

No, I don’t remember if I said what he and I were wearing or not. Considering that he and I were living together in the same town as they were, I would guess that it was mentioned, but I’m not positive.

Standing behind a couple of rows sounds perfect.