How else to say "We've come to a parting of the ways"?

Very considerate of you. I usually get ghosted or worse.

I recommend being In a neutral safe location, and give her a chance to change her ways.

Every way would hurt. I don’t know how to say it otherwise.

I would try saying that, “I don’t want to hurt you, but we need to go our own ways.”

If you can figure away to break up with out hurting someone then come back and tell us?

Since it’s a friendship and not a romance, so therefore there’s no expectation for a regular meeting up, it’s not possible to just severely curtail seeing her, instead of meeting her and having to explain things? Since you will see her in group settings (presumably meetings and/or parties/celebrations), in the meantime, can’t you just make yourself “always busy, too busy for coffee or lunch?”

Reasonable Q, @jca2. But we’ve had quite a close friendship over a number of years and been each other’s confidantes during that time. I can’t just withdraw and go silent without some word. She can see I’ve cooled toward her, and she’s asking.

Thanks, @RedDeerGuy1, for your kind thoughts.

When I first saw your question, I thought you were leaving Fluther. I’m glad you are not.

A friend you can’t trust is not a close friend. I’m sorry it has come to this but it seems it is not your fault. You could say something like you have few close friends you can really confide in and it is easier to lose a good friend than to gain one but if trust is lost you cannot keep up the pretence. Let her know you enjoy her company but the closeness you felt when meeting together over coffee has been lost.

.PS I hope it goes well.

Do it, in a public place.
Move on….

I give you credit for doing it in person. You could easily do it by text, email or phone call.

You should politely explain why you feel that “you have come to a parting of the ways”. It could be that she has hurt you, or your interests no longer match, or that you no longer think of her as an intellectual equal. Be gerntle and do not show any anger. You can express your gratitude for the relationship you previously able to attain,

Its sad when that happens, even for a great reason. Id just thank her for the years of friendship and be brutally honest about why it needs to end so she isnt confused. And hopefully hig it out so future meetings arent terribly awkward.
Im nosy because you seem fairly moderate, what did she do?

Are you going to tell her why?

Can you say “for now I think it’s best to take some time off from talking to each other.” Or, something similar. Make it sound more temporary. Maybe some statement that you regret saying it, and treasured the friendship for many years.

Perhaps not the most helpful answer…but I think what I had to say would depend on why you can no longer trust her. And if I thought that she was in a place to receive what I had to say.

I’ve ghosted two close friends.

One in college was the right decision. There wasn’t anything more to say (that would help with closure).

The more recent one, I couldn’t find the right thing to say.

Hoping you find the words that I could not.

Please update us as to how the meeting went!

Why do you want to end the friendship?

@Jeruba, I can give you some ideas if I knew why the friendship was breaking up. Being its you I imagine it must be something the person did that disturbed you or maybe the person has become too possessive of your time or too needy. If its something that disturbs you about them, then spell it out. For instance. If you don’t like that they are racist. Then say so. No need to spare their feelings. If they have become too possessive, spell that out and explain you feel your relationship is not a healthy one for either of you, same if they are needy. Though you may not need to say the word needy. Just explain that you realize you are becoming a crutch for them and you are in a point in your life when you can barely manage your own life and you find your are neglecting yourself in trying to be a good friend but that you aren’t being good to either one of you . I just end up resenting you when I find I am neglecting my life to help you. And that isn’t your fault its mine. So I need to get control of my life and so I can’t help you any more. If they suck the life from you and realize you won’t allow it anymore, they will be angry any way but they will find someone else.
And at the end tell them that you really do wish them joy and success in life, but before you can have loyalty to anyone else, you must first be loyal to your own needs and wants and I feel I shouldn’t feel guilty for living life my own way.

Did you have your “parting of the ways” meeting with your friend, @Jeruba and if so, how did it go?

(you know the Update Lady likes an update!)