Is it weird to look up a potential partners (especially one I have met online) criminal record?

“Weird” is a weird word which is oft weirdly wielded at whomever without a whit of wisdom.

It’s a very subjective and often meaningless word.

Wisconsin seems to think you’re allowed to do that. Even to whomever you want, it sounds like. It sounds like Wisconsin even makes it especially easy.

I think it’s legal to look up criminal records for just about anyone in the USA, anyway. Just not quite as easy everywhere.

I’m sure looking up people’s public records must be much more common now than it used to be, now that there are so many ways to do that. And companies offering it as a service get more exposure from the Internet. Type a number into a search engine, and one often sees suggestions from businesses who would like to look up information about people related to that number. Not to mention that search engines themselves will also do that.

Anyway, in current modern society, I expect it’s pretty common for people to search for info about people they’re curious about, including criminal records.

On the other hand, it can be perhaps preferable if we aren’t doing that sort of thing until/unless we feel like we have a good reason to. For some people, potential partners may sometimes, or maybe always, qualify for that treatment.

Though sometimes the info isn’t accurate, isn’t the same person, or even an actual legal record for the right person might tell a misleading story. Some people on sex offender registries are there for roadside urination. Some people have atrocious things written about them on the web, because someone else got mad at them and posted lies. Etc.

I am aware that one of the first things most women do, after meeting a guy, is check his social media.
As for criminal investigation, I would think that would be part of that internet investigation of the person.

Such things ARE public knowledge.

I think it’s smart, for women especially, to research men whom they are potentially going to date.
I also think there’s a big difference between searching public information, and actually going through someone’s phone, or spying on them.

You seem aware, that you already dodged one bullet…

I absolutely agree with @Zaku here as well. At least in regards to taking information you find with a grain of salt.

This type of vetting process, could inadvertently trigger you to ghost someone who may make your life richer.
That being said, convictions, jail or prison terms, and ESPECIALLY drug related crimes, should be red flags.
Intravenous drug users, for instance, should be automatically dismissed. The likelihood of them carrying any number of STDs, hepatitis, HIV, etc.

If your relationship is serious, you should discuss it with them and look it up together. If you aren’t far enough along to do this, what is the point?

Nothing weird about it these days. Too many weirdos out there.

^^Agreed Wulf. If the guy had a conviction for a violent crime, it would be nice to know before going somewhere alone with him.
There are a LOT of men out there, without felonies. Even with felonies, if they were nonviolent, it’s a huge difference.
SQ, is wisely being proactive in this case. That’s my opinion.

It is often one of the first things you should do if you are thinking of bringing that person into your life. It also can show you how much they divulge on their own about themselves.

Not weird at all; it is the right thing to do.

Weird? No. Smart.

You do not want to get murdered on your first date. Especially today, when they are getting more brazen with “your body, my choice”.
You should go even further, and sift through their social media postings.
If they are out there complaining about “wokeism”, “DEI”, refer to women exclusively as “females”, “femoids”, “foids” and other related terms. Stay away.

Not weird. It’s the smart thing to do.

I think it’s reasonable. We hired a controller once, and we paid extra for an enhanced background check, but it did not show (like the court system database we have did) that she was found not guilty of armed robbery and three other money-related misdemeanors. Fortunately, she also didn’t show up to the office that much (probably had a drug habit), so we fired her after a few months.

It’s absolutely not weird. I’d say it’s necessary.

A friend had a date with a guy and I asked her how it went. She told me he admitted he had a record but was now in recovery. I googled him using the very little information she had about him (I’m really good at googling) and found out that he committed armed robbery in another state with his adult son and she and I were laughing but it definitely was good info and she never contacted him again. The newspaper articles about it were both amusing and shocking. When I say amusing, it’s because who would pull their son into a crime, especially in a small town where everyone knew them? Obviously, the both of them weren’t that smart.

@YARNLADY You think that she should sit down with a guy who may be a total psychopath and, in front of him, say “let’s look up your criminal history on the internet?” You don’t see where that may be not the best idea?

I do/did it all the time, and have even paid companies a couple of times for their info. No way is it an invasion of privacy. If they have records, their actions are what has put them on the internet. Go for it.

No. It would be weird if you deliberately wanted to be matched with those who have a criminal record.

Nope. It’s smart.

This is a pretty common practice nowadays in my experience. None of my close friends did a lot of internet dating —it existed for us, but we’re just a bit too old for it to have been the norm—but we still did background checks when a relationship started getting serious. I don’t blame you for doing it earlier than we did, though. Like others have said, it’s a smart move.

Absolutely look them up! Its not weird and fb has multiple groups now because of these issues. Be Safe Sis, Are we dating the same guy, etc…

Your safety is important. If they didnt want it on public display they shouldnt have done it.
That being said if you ever have questions in Missouri, I’m happy to point you to our states site. :)

@jca2 I doubt such a person would agree to it, a red flag for sure.

It’s there, so why not use it? It would be a little weird not to. You don’t want to be associated with someone with a parking ticket, but multiple charges of fraud and sexual assault should be acceptable.

If I had daughters, I’d look up every man they dated. With all of the crazy dudes out there, there’s nothing wrong with being clear-eyed about who you’re dating.

Oh and I hope you find someone special who checks all of your boxes. Good luck, have fun and be safe!

Wish we’d had that at our fingertips when I dating!

So now that we’ve proven that mistrust of men is wise, shall we discuss mandatory paternity tests again?..

“Potential partners” goes both ways @MrGrimm888. Female or male.

Yeah, I am straight so that is why I used men in my example. I was using a specific real life example, otherwise I could have used the gender neutral “they”.

Trust or distrust of either gender is irrelevant. This is a question about internet safety.