Is there any junk mail that you appreciate?

Nope. It is all scams.

The worst was when I took the SAT, they give your data to colleges. I had not personally given my data to colleges. I got 12 letters in the mail from different schools.

12 letters.

All in one day.

The junk mail that comes on newsprint paper (as opposed to glossy, shiny paper) burns better. More useful for firing up the burn barrel.

Envelopes burn pretty well when empty, but if it’s a full envelope, it doesn’t catch fire as easily.

I love the junk catalogues. Lillian Vernon is awesome.