Has anybody experienced this after losing a loved one(in details)?

I had a messed up childhood and a very complicated and unhealthy relationship with my mother. I was also very, very close to her.

Obviously, I am having lots of complicated, intense feelings right now.

I am now getting flashbacks to random, bad moments from my childhood. I am also realizing so many things weren’t normal and more messed up than I thought.

I will bring this up to my therapist, but it is helpful to see how others have dealt with this- if you’ve been through this.