How have you personally learned to trust?
For me, It is kind of something I have to force myself to do. I haven’t fully “learned” yet, it doesn’t come naturally.
This is not a “looking for advice” question by any means.
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Being desperate for help did it for me. Trust was my only option. Either trust or be homeless.
For many things, I trust until I am burned. For example, if someone says “we’re going to go to the concert Friday night” I trust that we’re going to the concert Friday night. However, if Friday comes and they are not around and they don’t answer their phone, I no longer trust that person, unless they have a good excuse. Then, I will believe the excuse but be leery next time we make a plan.
As for people telling me things, if it’s something that sounds believable, I believe it and trust it to be true. If it sounds unbelievable or far out, I will be leery and maybe google it or research it. If I know the person well, I tend to believe them more than I would if I didn’t know the person.
Another that trusts until I know better.
I suppose I think people are worth it, as the price of love can be high but the alternative is awfully lonely.
I wish I could give you a good answer, but I’d say I had to unlearn it. I used to be a very trusting person when I was young, and easy to fool because I believed what people told me. As a result I have a long history of disappointments, so they have come to be expected.
I’m still no good at detecting lies (or telling them), but there’s scarcely a living soul that I would rely on for anything important. This means that although I may be in a position to have to depend on someone, I will not be surprised if they let me down.
I’ve thought about this a lot, and I don’t see myself as coming to a new view of it. Yet I still consider myself dependable and trustworthy, keeping my word, telling the truth, and honoring promises. I used to think people would treat me the same, but I learned that the Golden Rule my mother taught me does not reverse: I may treat others as I want to be treated, but that doesn’t mean they will treat me that way.
Nevertheless, I don’t want to doubt someone who IS conscientious and reliable, so I go ahead and act trusting toward them; but if I’m proven wrong, I just quietly withdraw my trust and carry on.
I trust less as I get older, but my natural inclination was to trust people. I guess since my family while I was growing up was honest and trustworthy I was not prepared for untrustworthy people. In my teens I dated a guy who was a cheater and liar and his family was the same, and I learned how they function.
As an adult I am more and more aware of how people will try to take advantage, but I also see so many displays of goodness, so it is a mixed bag.
Surround yourself with good people, they are out there. They might not be perfect, but plenty of people care about being helpful and expect and provide honesty and caring as their every day MO.
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