uberbatman, thanks for the comic strip about the octopus and the bagpiper, but that’s not the joke I tell.
I found a fairly clean version of the one I tell, here:
The Octopus and the Bagpipes
A guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, “I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can’t play.”
The people in the bar look around and someone fetches an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus’ owner pockets the fifty bucks.
Another guy comes up with a trumpet. The octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks its beak and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus’ owner.
The bar owner has been watching all of this in silence and disappears out the back door. He returns a few minutes later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them down on the bar and says to the guy and his octopus, “Now, if your octopus can play that, I’ll give you $100!”
The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes. It lifts them up, turns them over and has another look from another angle. Puzzled, the octopus’ owner comes over and says, “What are you waiting for? Hurry and play the damned thing!”
The octopus looks at its owner and says, “Play it? If I can figure out how to get its pajamas off, I’m gonna make love to it!”
The “dirty” version is funnier…