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JUDYXYC's avatar

A couple has a 3 year old marriage now they are being hit upon by older more experienced couples for [ same room swapping ] they are starting to feel like outcast. should they give in ?

Asked by JUDYXYC (31points) October 11th, 2008

They are curious and want to belong but they do not know if they are ready for such !

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

22 Answers

cheebdragon's avatar

Whats with all the swinging questions lately?
Go to AshleyMadison.com or ALT.com like all the other kinky couples…..

cookieman's avatar

While this may be a lovely fantasy, it should probably stay just that…a fantasy.

I just can’t imagine this situation ending well. That being said, I know there are couples who participate in swinging and get on just fine afterward.

Personally, I wouldn’t risk my marriage over 30 minutes of pleasure.

JackAdams's avatar

Sex takes THAT long with you?

cheebdragon's avatar

@JackAdams- I was thinking the same thing , lol

basp's avatar

if they aren’t comforable with the idea, they ought to find different friends.
As an aside, seems to me like young newly weds of three years would be so busy with each other that they wouldn’t be having a desire for this type of thing.

jca's avatar

don’t give in to the outcast thing. do what you want to do only, and maybe find some new friends.

chyna's avatar

Why would you bend under pressure to swap just to keep “friends”? They are not friends. Find friends who like to do the things you like to do, and don’t risk your marriage.

jca's avatar

your marriage is supposed to be the number one thing here, not keeping friends.

JackAdams's avatar

Has anyone noticed that the asker/poser of these questions never responds to comments made to him? Nor does he respond to PMs?

Yes, it is a male, pretending to be a female.

Don’t let the name fool ya…

jca's avatar

how would it benefit a male pretending to be a female asking about swapping?

cookieman's avatar

Sure JackAdams:
10 minutes to stretch.
5 minutes to get undressed.
5 minutes to decide on a comfortable position.
5 minutes for the actual sex.
5 minutes to regain the ability to breath.

syz's avatar

If you’re not interested, say no. End of questions.

PupnTaco's avatar

Bad idea, sketchy question.

gailcalled's avatar

Bad idea for the third time. Swing or don’t. but find something else to brood about here, please.

cheebdragon's avatar

cprevite- LMAO…..so true!

Mitsu_Neko's avatar

i would not risk a relationship on something I was not ready for

jvgr's avatar

The only real issues here are:

Are the young couple being told, by the other couple, that they are lesser persons because they don’t want to swing, if not,
Why does the younger couple feel “outcast”

Younger couple needs to get their own perspective on this as a couple before they respond to any pressure.

While it’s not my thing, I’ve read several articles about it. The common thread is that any couple must be clear that each wants to do this for their own reasons (not to please the other) and that they must establish clear rules and guidelines beteen themselves about the activity before they begin.

Doing otherwise seems to lead to problems in the relationship which is another way of saying swinging won’t solve any relationship troubles.

chyna's avatar

I’m also wondering if their wedding vows meant anything to them?

JackAdams's avatar

How do you know what their vows were?

Today, couples can write their own vows.

chyna's avatar

I’m thinking that a couple that is so easily persuaded to do things they probably shouldn’t be doing don’t have the imagination to make up their own vows.

jvgr's avatar

“chyna” I’m also wondering if their wedding vows meant anything to them?

I think it’s the “them” in the statement that is important.
I can understand the argument that love doesn’t mean monogamy and that sex and fidelity aren’t necessarily related as much as it’s true that monogamy doesn’t mean love.
The only important issue is that the involved couple are clear on what love and fidelity mean to them and that they are clear on what action constitutes a break in that agreement.
No couple (or individual) should enter any situation they are not 100% comfortable with.

“chyna:I’m thinking that a couple that is so easily persuaded to do things they probably shouldn’t be doing don’t have the imagination to make up their own vows.”

I’m thinking that one party in this couple is pro swinging and one isn’t. And that the pro partner may even be encouraging the other couple’s pressure. If that is the case, the unwilling partner needs to have a frank discussion with their partner without any cheeerleaders participating.

chyna's avatar

@jvgr You said it much better than I did. I agree 100%.

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