I'm feeling down today. Can you help?

Well, I had to speak to my creator, and ask for a replacement for my bottom….

….mine was cracked. :(

Hey guess what?

I work as a internet tech support rep for a hated company. I had a customer who started telling me this story while I was working on his equipment [dead air on the phone is no fun for some people]. He is a repairman for GE, or some such.

An elderly lady lived in this one house for about 15 years. She frequently called the power company, and asked that they enable her utilities to work during the day. They thought she was batty. She would call frequently – saying that her power worked fine during the night, but nothing worked during the daylight hours. No one ever believed her.

Now, it came to the point – after 15 years – that someone finally sent someone out to her house to see what she was talking about. When the technician got there….

“Mam! You aren’t even connected to power!

Well, yes I am! I have power at night, just not during the day. I just want it to work during the day, too.

“Mam, I regret to tell you this…but I will get it fixed ASAP.

Apparently the woman had been hooked into the streetlight powergrid for 15 years. So when the streetlights came on, she had power. When they went off….

So yeah. She learned to do her laundry during the night, and everything else. Poor lady, and a funny story!

Snappy Answer #1
A stewardess was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, “Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.”

Snappy Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen chickens at the supermarket, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked the shelf stacker, “Do these chickens get any bigger?” He replied, “No, they’re dead.”

Snappy Answer #3
The policeman got out of his car and the lad who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the policeman said. The lad replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the lad on his way without a ticket.

Snappy Answer #4
A lorry driver was driving along. A sign comes up that reads “low bridge ahead.” Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman gets out of his car and walks around to the lorry driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck?” The lorry driver says, “No mate, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”

and finally…
#5, THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
A university lecturer reminds her students of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!” A smart-@rse bloke in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, “What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s3xual exhaustion?” The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter. When silence is restored, the lecturer smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, “Well, I suppose you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”

I know how to make you laugh and laugh for around 3 hours, straight.

Give me your personal e-mail address by PM, and I’ll send you a nude photo of myself.

Mhm. Some youtube videos that I’ve liked/chuckled at: this, this and this as for anyone else thinks of them, who knows? Some of it may be rather British based comedy, others not so. Youtube I find to be a good site to put a smile on my face :)

lol at what as been posted so far, amazing story and I laughed at your answer JA :D

Go search for “Mr. Bean” and watch him on youtube. He’s great.

Also, search for “Jim Gaffigan” on youtube.

Here’s a website that cracks me up: www.engrish.com

Put on your favorite music and dance around like a crazy person. Seriously, flail around for about 20 minutes without shame and you won’t be able to help but smile. ;]

This is my favorite : http://failblog.org/

Well that made me feel better! Thanks!!!

Just think of the fact that the montary system will fail soon and we’ll have a better world.

No, because there is an elephant in the way.

This girl was feeling down too.

The nonsensical always cheers me up.
(Hope it makes you feel less compressed.)

Sarah Pale In Comparison
Here’s a musical rendition of Sarah Palin’s qualifications.

This always makes me smile!

Here’s a song that Johnny Cash used to sing, about me.

Tiny, I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. : )

Same here!

Good morning. Your posts yesterday helped some. This morning I woke up to the smell of smoke and a fire in the hills directly behind my house. At one point, we could see flames. But my mood is lighter. Again, thank you all.

I especially liked your post Nimis. I love cats.

I still have a nude photo of myself, if you’re interested in laughing your butt off….

Fire aside (!), I’m glad it helped some.
Oh, yes, I remembered that you not only liked cats, but saved them too. =)

At the risk of sounding insensitive, you are the one in charge of how you feel, and it is only you who can choose to stop it. Go to the joke.com, or watch your favorite comedy.

I often look at questions on the right side of my page, and I did not pay the slightest attention to who asked it or when. You are being extremely rude, since you apparently did ask. I am not and never have been as you described me, but merely strive to be helpful. I am concerned with questions and answers, nothing more. You are reading way more into this than is actually there.

Responding to an old question is not taboo here on Fluther. And I can quote the site creators on this.

http://www.fluther.com/disc/8736/does-thread-necromancy-exist-on-fluther/