What's your feeling about sexual experience vs inexperience?
I admit it. There are times I’ve asked how many did you have. I was wondering if I missed out on something I really would have liked to have. For me, more (in terms of number of partners) was better. I was convinced that everyone was having more fun that me.
Well, maybe I exagerated. I never did ask. Didn’t have the balls, I guess. But what if I had, and what if I found my experience was actually decent. Would I have felt like I didn’t miss out, after all?
What’s your take on the most valuable amount of experience? Do you think a little is better? Why? Do you think a lot is better? Why?
And why do we play games about comparing ourselves to others in this area? Sort of a shame/brag relationship, I guess? Deconstruct it for me please, with ample examples from your own life, if you dare!
Observing members:
0
Composing members:
0
8 Answers
I have to say a woman ten years my senior (im 26) last summer put it on me better than any 20 year old ever has.
This may be an area where there is a distinct gender difference. I never “kept score.” I also didn’t care what my partner’s sexual experience was or was not.
For me, the best sexual experiences are associated with having feelings for the person. The lovemaking is enhanced by the feelings.
About all you get from lots of partners is technique (which is fun to discover when you don’t have it yet) and a lot of ideas about what you don’t want in a lover.
The most skilled lover that I ever had was not the best lovemaking experience I ever had. Also, the most skilled lover did not end up a part of my life.
I think it’s those who don’t get much that try to make it a bad thing to be experienced.
It’s simple survival of the fittest if you look at it in evolutionary terms. Thousands of years ago, the men who got the most action were the largest, smartest, and most attractive. They had the largest number of kids who were, on average, larger, smarter, and more attractive. Look at deer herds, one alpha, lots of females, very few betas.
I don’t condone unsafe sex or having children you don’t support, but sex with multiple partners is not a bad thing.
I do agree that there is a double standard, and I believe it has roots in ancient gender roles.
i never cared much for sex, so it doesn’t matter much to me. i would prefer more experience than not; why waste time?
I enjoy the sexual experience.
Skill is the important thing, here, not experience. Virgins may have innate skills, and a more experienced partner may not. It’s probably important to have some varied experiences before marriage, but I really couldn’t say how much is enough.
Anyone can learn skills. What you can’t necessarily learn is a joy of experimentation and creativity. It may also be difficult to shuck the burden of inhibitions, should one be unfortunate enough to have that mantle placed on one’s shoulders by parents or culture.
People who love to play will have fun with sex, and use it well as an expresion of love. People who think it’s dirty or something will have much more difficulty enjoying it, or even seeing it as a loving experience.
The above is all my opinion, even though I state it as if it were fact.
If Revenge of the Nerds taught me anything its not to judge a book by its cover.
Answer this question 
This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.
Composing members:
0
