What do you think is more telling about someone? Things that they like or things that they dislike?

Fredrick Nietzsche “I define myself by what I am not.”

“People love you the most for the things you hate, and hate you for loving the things you can’t keep straight.” – Derek Webb (This Too Shall Be Made Right)

Not that it answers the question. But it’s related to the topic.

I would go with dislikes, since I generally spend the most time around what I do like, it seems more natural. When there is a dislike it feels out of place and stands out more to me

One example that comes immediately to mind is animals…if someone hates cats for example, I think that’s a serious character defect. Hitler hated cats for the same reason most people who hate them do. People who hate cats have to be able to exercise control over other things…they can’t stand an animal (or a person) with its own personality that won’t bend to their own will. I’m sure there are other examples…

I think that it depends on the things.

For example, if I told you that loved reading and books and they were a major part of my life, that would tell you much more about me than the fact that I hate rutabagas even though both of those things are true.

Rot: Though some people may dislike other people that remind them
of things that they don’t like about themselves. How to untangle that notion?

Dale: Are character flaws more telling than character ermm…unflaws?

Mari: Good point. But what about between two things that you like and dislike with the same intensity?

@dalepetrie
Wow… that’s quite an extrapolation. I love animals, and a lot of that has to do with them having a will of their own. But I hated cats for a pretty good chunk of time. Maybe just because of allergies. I was young, and my sister had some pretty serious reactions a couple of times. Negative associations, blah blah. Nothing to do with control.

@Nimis I did pick two things that I feel the same way about in terms of intensity.

OK, I’ll try again. I love nature. I love seeing it, spending time in it. It informs my writing, my vvacation choices, my free time, who I am. With the same level of passion, I hate spiders.

I still contend that the first tells you more about me.

For me, as long as the former outweighs the latter—it’s all good.

Oh no, Marina…I can understand hating something that causes you pain. But I’m not sure what you felt was likely hate in the way I’m thinking of “hate”.

@nimis – maybe exposure and uniqueness are the variables instead of intensity? Hating sunshine is pretty telling because it takes a lot of work to avoid and makes you stand out a bit. Hating rutabagas, not so much?

On the other side loving marathons would be telling while loving coffee doesn’t give you much insight.

Good points, Funk.

@Funk – I agree with your take on uniqueness. At work, my hatred of certain aspects are pretty much the norm for all my co-workers. But when I state them in “polite society”, it’s unique to me and very telling.

At work, the things I like tell more about me. When you’re all trapped in a vortex of unspeakable evil, it levels the playing field :)

Conversationally, I would generally rather chat about a common interest rather than a common peeve. Far too often when we concentrate on what we dislike it ends up being a complaining / bitching session; and that’s something I’d prefer not to do.

to go off of @lifeflame, it’s not about what you like or dislike but which you choose to talk about that is telling.

it’s not what you like or dislike. It’s what you do. Your actions speak volumes about your character and the person you are.

I think overall we get more out of things we are for, than what we are against. I want to know what someone is into and passionate about. When meeting someone for the first time do you ever ask “so what do you dislike?” It is far more interesting to find out what someone does like, bu the whole package is important.

I would love to understand what are people likings instead of learning about their dislikes. For example, when i want to make friends with someone new, i would disucss about what he/she likes and what i like and i hope we have something in common. Love and likings are the ones the make us bond with each other postively. Both can have the same ‘telling’ effect i suppose depending on the condition. Sometimes the person dislike may be more bizzare than his/her likings.