Do you find it hard to forgive and forget?

damn near impossible.

Heck I can’t remember where I put my glases today, much less what I was ticked off about yesterday!

is never going to happen in my universe, I may forgive, but I will never forget

I don’t forget only on some really profound issues. The little stuff I can let go.

I agree with Gail. Depends on what the transgression is.

I often forgive because I forget. It takes a very lot to make something really stick in my mind if it is negative. However, once it is there, it is unlikely it will be forgotten or forgiven.

If I can forgive, I will eventually forget, and if I can not forgive, I will remember.

Most are easy, some are hard, I hope I am lucky enough not to have too many unforgivable matters.

I have never held a grudge against anyone, and it has never taken me much time to forgive. Forget I’ve always assumed is a figurative forgetting (“Let’s pretend this never happened, OK?”) rather than a literal one—and I never find that hard to do either.

Although, as long as we’re on the subject, I suspect it might be better if we had a stronger impulse to acknowledge things, but forgive them regardless. I broke a girl’s heart, and I wouldn’t want her to pretend that never happened—it is and should always be a part of who we are to each other—but it would certainly be nice if she’d forgive me for it.

Who says you have to forget ? Life experience is based on remember the things you’ve experienced. Not surpressing them.

I find myself forgiving, but not forgetting either… Funny cause I was actually thinking about this the other day…

I can forgive pretty easily things that people I love do. I find it harder to forgive someone I am not close to, but I try. I have a harder time forgetting.

I can forgive, but I don’t forget.

It completely depends for me. I’ll forgive certain things, but definitely won’t forget them. If they’re really big, I won’t forgive or forget.

Look, I really don’t even understand how a person can forget. Forgive, ok. But, how can you make yourself forget something?! That doesn’t even make any sense.

I tend to be more of a softie than I should be, so I often find myself forgiving people when I really shouldn’t be. I’m too quick to apologize for overreacting and letting things that shouldn’t be let go off the hook.

So… I guess I forgive sometimes, but I’m pretty bad at forgetting.

no I can’t and I wish I could…really I would love to forgive and forget but I don’t.

There is one person I will never forgive, and it is my purpose in life to make sure he never forgets! I intend to be a thorn in his side for the rest of his miserable life. So far I am doing a very good job.

Mostly, I figure everything is my fault and I don’t have anything to forgive people for. When I feel that there’s something to forgive, I do, as long as I believe the person is sorry. But if someone does something big enough for me to feel wronged in the first place, I’m unlikely to forget.

i can forgive and move on. with some people i can forget. depending on what the issue was, i don’t always forget. i may go back to being friendly with them but i will be careful not to get burned the same way again.

it takes a lot of negative energy to hold on to grudges. if my relationship with someone changes due to an offense they commit, i will act continue to act friendly and politely toward them. i have worked with people who will ignore forever someone who has offended them, and i think that’s silly and immature.

I’m with Gail. It completely depends on the nature of the harm inflicted. In one particular case, I don’t believe I will ever forgive or forget. That’s pretty much the only thing in my life that I feel that way about, though. Smaller stuff is much less important to me.

Well it’s not that hard for me because I have a bad memory when it comes to these things. I don’t remember minor offenses/fights/insults etc and so it’s really a case of “out of sight, out of mind”. But there have been times when someone has come up to me like a year later or something and said “are you still mad about blah blah blah?” and then I always say “ooooh i completely forgot about that. But wow. yes. how could you do that? No you are not forgiven!”. haha. point is, don’t remind someone of ways you might have wronged them. There are only one or maybe 2 instances I can think of where I know I will not forget. I have indeed ‘forgiven”...whatever that means i mean, what does it really mean to forgive? how do you know when you have forgiven someone? When you don’t begrudge them that incident anymore?, but I will most definitely not forget.

I also don’t necessarily believe in the old adage of “let’s just forgive and forget”. The thing is, I think it’s stupid to just forget when it comes to major/crucial events because then you will most likely make the same mistake again. By not forgetting, you ensure that you aren’t harmed in that way ever again, because you know what you are looking for and if/when you see it, you can steer clear away from it.

i forget everything. i forgive everyone sooner or later. i do hold certain grudges, but only if it’s due to being hurt or having had a family member hurt by whatever.

@PnL;
Forgive means to “let them off the hook.” I does not mean that you accept the offense, it just means that you are not going to hold it against them.

I most always forgive. To forget is a hell of a lot harder, especially if it was something really bad. I think with a lot of time passed, I have forgotten a little. But just a little.

Actually, yes. I was just thinking about this the other day. I believe the phrase refers to forgiving a person, then forgetting the negative feelings toward the person. Once I’ve forgiven someone and they are made aware of it, my feelings are refreshed, clean slate. I have too much love for life to linger on the little issues.

But I don’t forget the politics of the situation. That knowledge can be elemental in dealing with not only that person, but all people, in the future.

Some things, I can easily let go, totally forgive but rarely forget. The things that are serious hurts to me, I never forget. Because of this, I honestly wonder whether I’m capable of forgiveness, at least when it comes to these instances. If I never forget it and it still makes me feel wronged and angry, is that truly forgiveness?

i forget things——the way the whatever made me feel. i tend to give ppl second chances, so i guess i forgive. but i’ve been stung twice before, then i hold grudges.
my daughter is like my mother was, someone breaks her trust or whatever and they are dead to her. Nothing can change it.

Very. I think it can only come when you realize that your hurting yourself when you don’t.

I just realized that my answer to this question should have begun with the phrase, “Actually, no.” Good job, shadling…

Yes. I suppose it’s a balancing act- keep it aside and use it as fuel but dont let it consume you. Then, when the offender is most vulnerable, knock him. this has a secondary benefit- you learn to be patient.

I may forgive for being the bigger person and keeping the peace, but i do hold a grudge.

It is said that you haven’t truly forgiven someone until you’ve truly forgotten.

I am a very, very forgiving person. I’m a man of multiple second chances – which is something about myself that I completely adore, but I KNOW there are times when it hurts me. I understand that no human being is ever perfect so I dont ever expect anyone to treat me flawlessly, as I’m sure although I do the best I can to be as good of a person as I can to people, there are times when I slip up.

I give forgiveness because I expect forgiveness, but I expect people to learn from their mistakes. Only when the problem persists over an extended period of time or someone starts to cause me a considerable amount of harm do I ever not forgive or forget.

for me, i think hart to forget. sometime even we just forgive people who hurt us, but that kind of thing still in our mind, we could never forget it.

I forgive very easily, which is good and bad. Good because no one is perfect and we all mess up, but also bad because i let some people walk all over me and I continue to forgive their behavior. I can forgive, but sometimes it means that a person has hurt me so much I am just not close to them anymore, but I forgive what they did. Forgetting is another issue…I don’t forget some of the things that have hurt me most. Sometimes I wish it was flip flopped :) If I forgot a lot, I wouldn’t really need to forgive haha :)

If its something little you should just forget it because its not worth your time but other than that it is very hard i understand how people say they can forgive but they can’t forget but to me if i SAY i forgive someone and i never forgot about it then if i see that person or just sit down and really think about the situation then its like, “oh i remember what they did” and all the hatred might come back and i end up really not forgiving them like i want to so for me its a very bad thing but its hard for me to forgive and/or forget.