How do you talk to quiet people?

If he’s sitting alone at lunch, could you approach him then? That’s when there’s room to sit and time to talk. Knowing nothing about him is a great excuse to talk, too – “Hey, you’re new, what do you do for fun? Where did you live before? What do you like about this place?” are potential starters. Does he read? Ask him what he’s reading about. If he’s new, he might just be quiet because no one knows him yet and he doesn’t know anybody, either.

If he’s shy, though, being kinda quiet back is good, too. I mean, big loud colorful extroverted people may be too much, or kinda intimidating. Just sit down, not too close or too far, and chat. He might well appreciate the gesture. :)

i would just pick a topic and go up to him and start a convo. is he in any of your classes? Start slowly. Or use the opener, I need an opinion…

Heh, I was just like that before. That changed about a year ago, and now I’ve started a new education with many new people and have learned the best way to start a conversation. I’m still now entirely capable of keeping a conversation running, but you’ll come a long way with one thing:

Take interest in the other person.

Seriously, ask yourself what you don’t know about this other person: where does he live, what’s his age, what’s his family situation, how does he like his new school, what music does he like, etc. It provides good conversation material, people like talking about themselves and like you taking an interest in them, and you get to know a person. You might also find similarities in character between you and him, which provides additional conversational material.

Plus, interesting stories can emerge from this, so it’s fun as well :)

We don’t bite. Just say hello. Then maybe ask a few questions. Don’t be discouraged by non-responsiveness at first. It generally takes a while to get us out of our shell. And if normal conversation starters don’t work at first, go for the wild and silly like, “So… what would you do if zombies attacked the school? I’m worried about this growing problem, but the administration doesn’t seem to have a contingency plan.” Generally if you ask something off the wall enough, you can get at least a laugh then maybe some small conversation.

I agree with empress pixie. Ask a few simple questions until you can glean something that your potential friend might find interesting. Then try to get him talking about that particular topic.

I’m quite myself, and I’ve been told I can be intimidating. But all one has to do to get me talking is to ask me something
I actually have an interest in.

All of the above, and brush up on your open-ended questions.

Smile at him. It truly works wonders.

Then sit down and offer him a piece of gum- little transactions form little bonds. Ask him if he understood a specific part of a clasroom lesson, and show him your notes…

Shy kids need to have their personality coaxed out of them; I happened to be one (so I know). :^)

You become quiet with them. Find time to share space. Mealtimes are perfect for this, since there is business to attend to (eating food). Ease the conversation slowly. Be patient. Eventually, you may have them laughing and chatting openly.

I can be shy… at first, before you get to know me.

What I want to add to the discussion is the suggestion to be frank! If someone I didn’t know were to come up to me and ask me a lot of questions, I’d be annoyed.

But if someone were to come up to me and say something like, “Hey, I noticed you’re new here. I’m really curious about you and would love to get to know you a little bit. Mind if we talk?” I would be delighted and totally open up. Please tell them why you’re talking to them. Then there’s no perception of manipulation. They’re clear what you want and why you’re talking to them. You become less threatening that way.

On this shy person’s behalf, I thank you for your interest! I know for me, sometimes I feel starved for that kind of interest. Be bold… good luck!

Yes, I’ve talked to quiet people. One of my best friends is the quiet type, and if anyone knows me they know I’m not so quiet. I talk about anything and everything. She’s a good listener and always has awesome advice. I met her in 7th grade in class and I just talked to her about her classes and mine and which teachers were cool and whatnot. After a while she opened up and we talked about other stuff. Now we talk about everything. She’s still more of a listener and I’m still more of a talker, but that seems to work out just fine for us. And like I said.. now she’s one of my best friends.

Talking is over-rated.
Find different ways to communicate.

I would start the conversation by asking a random question. Usually something simple will do like, what’s your fav color?

Sci: If I didn’t really know you and you asked me that out of the blue, I’d probably just stare at you blankly.

Good point, I guess it depends on the situation. Usually I try to start conversations among groups after we’ve already been introduced. However, I am usually the shy one in the group so… I guess my answer is sort of from a different perspective. It’s unusual for me to talk unless I here someone say something that I think is insightful. So, you can imagine that is a bit of a rarity.

hey uhm i’m ain,
and i’m also like the new guy that you talks about.
uhm and i’ve read all the answers here.
i feel kinda releaved, because there’s a lot of people understand people like us
actually i thought know one would understands us.. heheh
so until i accidently open this page, my mind was just…. suddenly open.
thanks for understand..
great talks ^^

yo!! when i was little i used to be so shy, people thought i was a snob and shut in, but then it is true when people talk to shy kids they will open up eventually. Luckily I met some really awesome talkers and now my friends can’t get me to shut up :D. I find the random question approach to be a good conversation starter like the zombies ones, or asking “which would you rather have” Q’s.
Another plausible solution to communicate w/ a shy person is to do somthing extremly funny or weird (like doing a random cartwheel) or jump behind a trashcan and start imitating shooting noises at the shy person. If they are jsut shy-guys waiting for somthing interesting to come their way, who knows they might jump up and start shooting back!
I mean I used to be shy, and this kind of behavior always got my chat reflex to kick in ^_^