How Do I Stop This?

Tell them how the Boogey Man eats naughty children who don’t sleep in their rooms.

Leave em in their own beds, they’ll figure it out eventually. Just don’t cave when they cry or demand to sleep with you. Supernanny told me so.

I’m the baby of the family so I have no clue wtf my mom did before me. :P

EDIT: Nimis is also right. She suggested that too.

Do they fall asleep quickly? I would just stay with them in their own beds
until they fall asleep. Just until they got used to the transition.

Try a bribe, a special trip somewhere if they’re good etc.

You’ve gotta stick to your rule tho. Don’t back down.

asmonet is right.

Watch one of those super nanny shows on tv. Pay attention to how the nanny demonstrates dealing with kids that attempt to continue bad behavior. If you’re lucky, you’ll see how they deal with bed time.

What worked for us…

The First Night—
1. Put kid in bed with some affection and clear instructions about staying in bed.
2. Then sit nearby within eyesight… but do not make eye contact. Read a book or something.
3. Kid cries and tries to get out.
4. Pick kid up and put back, repeat instructions (not affection). Sit nearby.
5. Kid cries and tries to get out.
6. Pick kid up and put back, no instructions, no affection, no talking. Sit nearby.

(Steps 4 & 5 repeat uncountable times over an hour or longer)

6. Kid gives up and goes to sleep.

You’re training the kid that you absolutely will not capitulate to his demands, no matter the crying/tantrum. If you do give in, then you’ve trained your kid that you will do whatever he wants as long as he cries long enough.

The Second Night—
More of the same.

The Third Night and Beyond—
You will eventually get to fewer up & down cycles and less crying. Be patient. You’re not being mean to the child. You’re right there in eyesight. You’re not abandoning your baby.

Now, Do Not…
– close/lock the bedroom door
– lie down with the child until he’s asleep, unless that’s how you want to spend your entire evening from now on
– give up. Never give up!

This is a real battle of wills as well as physical endurance. Seriously, you’re an adult. No matter how tired you are of the whole mess, you gotta remember that you can outlast a three year-old at anything.

In the end, it’s about you doing what you think is best for the child. Use common sense and good judgment. Seek out support from your spouse and agree to both work identically on this issue.

I like posts that start like that, rob. :P

Robmandu pulling from Supernanny.
Fluther never ceases to amaze.

robmandu (channeling Super Nanny) is spot on target.

We tried a similar technique with potty training and it worked beautifully.

We, unfortunately, could never pull it off for sleeping (it was impossible to get 3–4 nights in a row where we didn’t need the sleep. My daughter would fight it until 2 or 3 in the AM. We have to get up at 5AM – so it didn’t completely stick.

Now she only partially sleeps in her bed.

I raised twin boys and I was always thankful when they fell asleep no matter where they were.
However, when the time came for them to spend more time in a bed of their own, we made a big deal out of them getting “big boy beds”. The beds we got were hand me downs, but we made a big deal out of getting them, letting the boys choose their blankets, etc.

i had this problem with my 22 months old toddler, but i got pregnant and i needed more space, so i put his bed right next to ours, in 3 days he was sleeping alone, without jumping over me to get back to my bed, and in 1–2 weeks he was completely alone, and away from our bed, i think it worked… Hopefully works for you too..

I can so totally relate. We would often have two kids, a dog, and 2 cats in a queen size bed. It got a little better when we got our oldest daughter a double bed, and had her sister sleep with her. I think they just craved the closeness after not seeing me all day. I have to agree with robmandu’s suggestions. I would read to them, then would put on a Classic Kids tape/CD (Vivaldi’s Ring of Mystery, Magic Flute, Beethoven Lives Upstairs), fold laundry where they could see me, and pretty soon they would drop off.

I didn’t have twins, but I had two who were close to each other in age. They shared a room when they were small. I think it’s actually easier with two than with one, because if they’re scared to be alone -well, they’re not alone. They can talk quietly to each other until they finally get used to falling off to sleep. I had better luck with room arrangements where they could see each other easily when they were laying down.

I’d go with robmandu on this one. Since you’re dealing with two, I’d add that you don’t want one getting the impression that the other is getting any sort of payoff for misbehaving. Don’t hold one of them more. Don’t get water. Don’t explain to one and not the other.

I suggest a book or magazine for while you’re sitting. Not to read to them, but for you.