How would you try to convert someone else?
If you found it necessary to try to change someone’s core belief, would you rely more on emotional persuasion or on facts and analysis or on physical coercion? Which would work better on you? When you need to change someone’s mind about an issue of some importance, how do you approach it?
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11 Answers
I don’t try to change anyone’s core beliefs. If they express interest, then I will share with them some of my beliefs and answer their questions about my beliefs.
I will also ask them about their beliefs and mental models. And I will try to help them explore what is leading them to the thoughts or feelings they experience.
Nothing else would ever work without resentment and doubt.
I think a lot of things depend on the person. There are a lot of beliefs that are destructive that should be changed. Sometimes i’d rather ultimately be resented than allow someone to continue to hurt themselves.
I’ve never “found it necessary to try to change someone’s core belief”, but if I wanted to share my beliefs with another person I would tell them briefly about what I beleive in. If they show interest and want to know more, I would tell them. If they weren’t, I would not shove it down their throat.
I also agree with what delirium said above.
As a Christian I think I have an obligation to be available and to be loving and reflect Christ. I think it’s the Holy Spirit’s job to change hearts and core beliefs, not mine.
Since we’re all atheist when we are born, I think we’d all agree that the best way to convert someone is to imbue all of our beliefs in a child before their little childhood mind can reject them. Someone has to tell you about Christ before you can believe in him.
I don’t try to change anyone either; wouldn’t even if I thought I had too. My core beliefs haven’t changed over the years; tho they been modified and hidden. At this stage in my life, I’m free to beleive whatever I choose too. I would respect anyone else’s decision to do the same, even if it’s not what I believe.
I react very….um..unfavorably, when ppl try to convert me.
As an example (the only time I’ve ever attempted to change someone’s core beliefs):
When I convinced my Republican husband to vote for Obama, I relied heavily on facts and analysis. He is a very logical man, so this was the most important factor. However, he is also a very stubborn man. His long-held image of himself as an honorable Republican was quite hard for him to let go of, so there was definitely an emotional component. Both were completely necessary to allow him to see that Obama was a much better fit for his world views. In essence, though, his core beliefs about the world as a whole are still intact…it was his core belief about himself that shifted.
bodyhead,
I see atheism as more of a conscious choice. When we’re born we’re simply ignorant and unaware.
I completely agree with Judi!
I have been down that road of trying to ‘save’ people with nothing but words and good intentions, it felt amazingly hollow. I gave up words long ago as anything more than explanation when someone asks why I do the things I do.
I decided to put the words away and ‘do’ things to express my concern for people, accepting them for who they are; where they are. That generally is so different than anything else they have ever seen that they talk for hours.
I have learned many painful lessons about trying to get another person or people to ‘change’. I find that when you accept a person and listen to them then they generally decide a new better course of action for themselves on thier own.
Sometimes I do get asked during the course of conversations what I would do, what I think God would want them to do. I always seem to have a couple of suggestions, one of which is always…”<shrug>...ask God, he will tell you what to do next.”
It is kind of presumptuous to actively change another’s values. If you believe yours are more valid you should live your life as an example. If you are a successful human being, others will emulate you.
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