Is it good or bad to be "innocent"?

Zach: “Good” and “bad” are harsh and judgmental words. You are who you are; don’t mess with that. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You’ll be at college or university soon and will see large numbers of sub-cultures, several of which you will fit comfortably into.

If you hang around with people who like to club, love hip hop and rap, think ideas on philosophy, art, and literature are not “cool,” you are hanging with the wrong group. Think of what a mess I’d turn into if I felt that “they” thought I should become a programmer or an auto mechanic,

From the way you describe yourself, I wouldn’t say you are innocent, more like you have a good head on your shoulders. That is a great, even unusual thing for an 18 year-old.

@gail: ive alwyas told myself that, but recently, my self esteem and confidence have been really low.

@supermouse: exactly, its unusual. 9 out of 10 people i meet are the usual, and sometimes i meet that 1 that understands, but its in very rare cases.

lets say i want to restart my social circle, not that im necesarily going to, but please oblige me, where would i meet people (both friends and romantic partners) who would “get” me? sorta like a fluther.com, but in “real life”, i.e., not the internet.

Sounds to me like your friends are more “streetwise” than you are. You seem to find more pleasure in the finer, more rewarding and longer lasting things in life, and I think that attitude will serve you well. You may feel odd, or out of the loop now, but it will pay off in your future.

Not innocent: Girls think you’re cool.

Innocent: Girls are more likely to be attracted to you in a deeper way.

The conventional wisdom is, keep doing the stuff you really like, and pretty soon other people with your interests will appear. Like, writers…. Meanwhile, you have some pals, so you don’t have to be lonely.

I think you have it knocked.

Your self-esteem and confidence might be low because you’re still revving up. Don’t misinterpret this. Revving up is normal. Also, a word to the wise, don’t get hyper-attached to being “different”. Eventually you want to find the people you feel you belong to. Be ready to bond, bond, bond, to be surrounded by people who do “get” you and are
happy you “get” them too.

If you’re too ‘innocent’, you might be in a position where people are more apt to try to take advantage of you.

On the other hand, if you’re still ‘innocent’, you haven’t been corrupted by outside influences and that is not necessarily a bad thing. It just means you can spend some more time becoming more worldly and learning and experiencing new things along the way.

@Mtl Zack, my 19 year old daughter has the same problem.

It sounds like you have a good sense of yourself along with common sense. I wouldn’t worry about someone’s perception of innocence. What you feel is important is what matters. You’ll meet others like you; it’s just a matter of time.

It depends on what you want to accomplish. Innocence can help or hurt, depending in the goal. So, I guess I’d need more information.

Beats the hell out of being guilty.

Just continue being you, Zack. Don’t let them pressure you.

hold your head high. You are a beautiful person.

Since you were only 4 when The Return to Innocence came out, you may have missed it.

I second the advice for being you, all the little things will work out.

Your world is about to open up much more as you move into the next phase of your life: university. I think it is a sure bet that you will make some great connections.

I don’t think it is good or bad. I think it just is. But are you trying to figure out if the people labeling you that way think it is good/bad? How do they act when they tell you? I think a lot of people would say that kind of thing with affection. (And sometimes the intent to change it.) But it is like any other personal quality—it just is. Some people might see it, some people might not. Some will like it, some will not.

@susanc- A word to the wise isn’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones who need the advice.