alfreda i think you misunderstand, whether or not he believes himself to be “well-rid of me” i couldn’t possibly care less!! he’s asked me back about a bazillion times and i don’t give a flying fuck, honestly. he wasn’t who i thought he waas. staying with him after the first, i dont ‘know 3 weeks was one of the stupidest things ive ever done, i wasted years of my life with this loser ahhh!!! and i regret every minute with him. i can’t believe i didn’t see it before what a complete and utter loser he was. it’s not about the cheating. he’s a hypocrite and he’s not a man, he’s a baby. my purpose in cursing him out would not have anything to with his feelings. my purpose would be to vent my feelings. however he responds would not cause backfire. what would be a “backfire” was if i felt sorry for him or something afterward, or if for some very strange reason i thought about him more after that.
You asked “Could this is about frustration and disappointment with yourself that this is harder for you to get over with than you want it to be? He cheated, but on some level you still care and wish that it hadn’t happened and life would be the way it was, right? He ruined the plan. It was supposed to be different. Did you ever have your say? Closure?”
1. yes! definitely! i was completely over him and very happy with everything before i found out that he cheated. it wasn’t the cheating that made me as mad as how the realization changed the situation. it made me realize some thigns about him i hadn’t before. it’s a long story, but i’m sure you can imagine.
2. absolutely not!!!! i wouldn’t get back together with him if you gave me a million dollars. we had already broken up before i found out he cheated, so no plans were ruined, except my plan to not become a vitriolic bitch in my sleep every night.
3. no, i never did have my say. a 3rd party told me, and then when he found out he apologized IN AN EMAIL!!! because he’s a huge fucking baby.
4. i don’t really care what i convey to him, i just want to forget that he exists. i want poofandmonk’s “ignore” button.
alfreda, if in any part of this message it seems that i “blasted” you or something like that, i apologize. please do not think that my anger is directed at you. it’s absolutely not. this is one of the only places i have to vent about this issue, because my friends are tired of hearing about it, etc. thanks for listening, guys.
thanks for helping me work through this.
i still haven’t figured out what i should do though… :(