You might be a redneck if...

Keep an old half gallon container to spit your chewing tabbaco into. Eeeeeeeeewwwwww! GROSS!

You might be a redneck if…..

You think “loading the dishwasher” means getting your wife drunk.

…if you keep smoking because your smile looks awkward with only two teeth missing.

Your Thanksgiving dining room table is a picnic table brought in from the patio, plopped on the floor in the living room (which is a concrete slab – no carpeting or flooring of any kind), and covered with a Budweiser table cloth.

This is real, Gimmedat and NVOldGuy can vouch for it. Yes, the seats were the picnic benches.

@SM Wow. Just….wow.

….your kids have a matress out in the front lawn to jump on because you can’t afford a trampoline.

actually saw some little kids doin this in the ghetto, not rednecks. but it’s still a pretty good one i think

have “born to be wild” as a ring tone.

Good Thanksgiving times, SuperMouse! The turkey seasoned with beer and cigarette ashes made it even better.

Anyway, you are a redneck if you dress your kids in stained sweats that are two sizes too small.

You are a redneck if your eleven year old daughter wears a tanktop that barely covers the fat you tell her are the buds that means she’s becoming a lady.

You are a redneck if your seven year old wears Velcro strapped sneakers on the wrong feet.

You are a redneck if you have to use a knife to keep your oven door closed (taking it back again, SuperMouse).

Is it acceptable to use white trash as a substitute to redneck?

when you think a G.E.D. means “get er done.!

You might be a redneck if your big brother pulled up the living room floor with a shovel.

More good times Gimme, more good times.

You might be a redneck if your dad threw the family oven away. Seriously away, out on the curb for weekly pick-up away.

You might be a redneck if you have those nasty dangly testicles hanging from the tow hook of your bad motherf$&ker truck.

You might be a redneck if you have, “If its to loud your to old,” (complete with errors in usage) in script on the back window of your bad motherf&$ker truck.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle sports a bumper sticker that says,“Keep honking, I’m reloading,” in one corner of your back window and,“Horn broke, watch for finger,” in the other corner.

You are a redneck if your house has ever been condemned by the health inspector.

gimmedat, I don’t know about “white trash” but it sounds like a lot of these are symptoms of “just plain poor”.

“Anyway, you are a redneck if you dress your kids in stained sweats that are two sizes too small.”

^^That’s just sad.

@La chica, I am not trying to provide commentary on the econmic conditions that plague our people. It’s a joke.

@La Chica, I think the people Gimme is referring to dress their children that way on purpose. These would be the same ones whose kids have the business part of their mullets touched up weekly.

Oh and Gimme and I lived a lot of it, it wasn’t about economics, it was a way of life.

@SuperMouse, ahhhh yeah. There was plenty of money floating around our area, enough for police scanners and CBs. The monthly subscription to Hustler was paid religiously.

Now that I have joined Gimme for a nice walk down memory lane, I can’t resist posting this link of the original redneck spotter, Mr. Jeff Foxworthy.

…if you chant “drill baby drill”.

You use a potato as an IUD. (No kidding—a former neighbor was an ER doc in Texas, and had to deal with this one several times.)

…no words needed.

…you move to West Virginia, and suddenly have your vehicle (a pick-up truck) parked in your front yard, and an old refrigerator on your front porch. This was me – a bonafide city girl – during a renovation!

Augustlan, I have seen several (!) old toilets in front of the house in a wealthy suburb!

Okay, one, maybe you’re renovating. Two? what the hell is that?

Ok, yeah, that’s just weird!

Check out the Redneck Mansion.

@Alfreda several times?!

@Augustian & LaChica LOL When we redid our bathrooms to get rid of the pink and baby blue toilets, I refused to let my husband put them at the curb!

@Bluefreedom Is that for real??? I note the web address…???

snoopy, these weren’t even on the curb though!!! they were just, there, in the yard, sort of next to the house!!! of course those are the same people that have like eleven billion old really junky cars parked in their driveway at all times, so they probably think you can’t see the toilets from the road anyway…

(is it really bad to wonder how people like that afforded the house? because every time we would drive by, we would talk about it…)

@LaChica It only counts if the plant flowers in the toilets….LOL

@Snoopy. I went back and looked up the information on this picture and here is the exact story regarding it all.

Text from the exact same website:

”...the true origin of the image is far different from the fictional description attached to it. In fact, the structure is an elaborate outdoor set for the Theater het Amsterdam Bos, a Dutch theater group. The set was created by Catherina Scholten for a 2005 production of Anton Chekhov’s Ivanov.”

http://www.hoax-slayer.com/redneck-mansion.shtml

@BlueFreedom. I am glad you shared it….It is kinda wild looking.

@LaChica thanks for the pic explanation..!

@Snoopy, YES!! She was horrified when the first one came in, and the triage nurse said it was a not uncommon practice. Over the year and a half she was at the hospital, she had at at least 5 women come in with various complaints stemming from that practice gone awry.

You are a redneck if you try to pick me up in an upscale bar, while wearing a leisure type suit with a bandanna hanging out the back pocket. Just get off the bus, dear?

You might be a redneck if you have a window unit air conditioner duct-taped in the busted out back window of your pickup. I see this one all the time where I live. Then they just put a generator in the back.

@jess: That is not an isolated incident? Wow.

if you got a shit hole house, with mattresses on the floor, and no carpet and greasy old sofas etc etc BUT y’all gather round a brand new 60inch TV set which is your prize possession :)

your last words are, “Hey, fellas, watch this!!”

If your TV is a cardboard box with your kids behind it. Yea that sucked.

if your pickup truck’s passenger door is closed with a coathanger.
If you wear a 3x shirt but your jeans waist is a 34.
if you have never drank beer out of a glass.
If you look like a hick in a Christian Dior suit.
If your forehead has a dent from the buckle on your baseball cap
If you say, “do what?” after each sentence your s/o speaks.