How would you suggest I approach calling in this loan?

How do you know this person? if you are able to contact them over the phone or meet them in real life to confront them about it it may work better. contact them In a medium they can’t so easily ignore. Maybe even if you meet them in person, meet with a mutual friend there aswell. Just so someone can verify events if needed.

this is just my 10 cents. I’m only 17 so I hardly have experience in that matter but thats just what I would do.
=)

Do you have a written document that she has signed? You should be able to go to Small Claims Court, and handle it yourself without an attorney.

Otherwise, as Shakespeare says, “Neither a borrower, nor a lender be.”

I’d say definitely time to move on to something a little more direct than email, in person if possible, if not then get her on the phone. I don’t think it necessarily needs to be confrontational though, you just need something harder to ignore. If it comes down to it, it sounds like you might know where she’s working?

If you’re able to get in touch, you could ask for a series of post-dated checks for your “payments”, that way there’s no further action needed on her part.

As HalfScottish said, if you have mutual friends you might pursue that route as well, starting with just letting them know you need to get in touch and moving on to telling them the full story if she doesn’t respond. Always good to have people reminding her.

If it is someone you’re on good terms with it will be easier to collect.

The problem with taking it to court is that even if you go to Small Claims Court and she doesn’t show up so you “win” by default, it’s very difficult to collect any money from her. You basically end up with a piece of paper (the judgement in your favor) that says she owes you money. Collecting is a whole different process where you have to locate the assets and then send (and pay for) law enforcement to collect those assets, they sell them and then you apply for your portion of the funds to be taken from them.

In other words a lawyer would probably recommend not pursuing it through small claims unless you think she will show up and and you can come to some agreement before the actual hearing.

I’m not a lawyer, that’s just my experience. I had a similar situation where someone out of state didn’t supply something I purchased. I spoke to a lawyer who suggested just dropping it but I ended pursuing it myself and just spent more money trying to collect. I never actually received any funds despite a judgement in my favor.

I’d say your best chance is to keep it on good terms and try to collect from her directly.

It’s also worth saying that I’m sorry this happened. You tried to do something nice for someone to help them improve their life and should be commended for that. I’m sorry it hasn’t worked out better.

Ooh, yes, some things I somehow left out of my very long description:

1. I lived in Ashland, OR, when I made the loan to her. I now live in the bay area. So meeting her in person would be difficult – I don’t make it back to Ashland too often. But I DO have her phone number. I could call her if I chose to go that route. Not sure what I’d say yet. (“Please pay me”?)

2. I do have a written document, with her signing it. It’s just a 3×5 index card, but it has all the terms, the date of repayment, the agreement if she’s late, and her signature.

Does that change any thing for legal status? It was very valuable to hear your legal experience, Funkdaddy. And thanks for your empathy! I appreciate that. I feel silly having made this loan. Oh well – couldn’t have predicted the outcome. I was trying to be kind.

The advice I’m hearing so far is to be polite but more firm in my request. Keep ‘em coming.

I made the same mistake lending money actually to a relative over twenty years ago. He came to my house and told me his utilities were about to be turned off , and he wanted to borrow three hundred dollars. I don’t know why he chose me, adni was only eighteen and a student, but I lent him the money. It was supposed to be paid back when he got his paycheck the next week. He actually was going to the beach for the weekend. I never got paid back. I tried letters, phone calls and personal contact to mo avail . I actually think now that the three hundred dollars I lost was worth it . It taught me at a very young age to never lend money. If someone I know is having hardships, and I can afford to help, I would rather give the money. That way I will not have the hard feelings and drama. If I can’t afford to help with money. I can help I some other way.

I know this is a matter of principle, and you do need the money, but let’s face it, $500—$100/18 months = $22.22 a month lost. I’m of the inclination that “experience” has come at the equivalent cost of beer money. I would call her again, and be more inistent, and if you know where she works, send a certified letter to her at work, asking for payment.

The lesson is that you shouldn’t lend money to people if you can’t afford to lose it. The assumption is from the start that you will not see it again.

I am sorry you are going through this….based on what I know and what funkdaddy related….the only reason to try and pursue this legally would be on principle only. In other words you will spend the amount of the loan or more in attempting to recover the money.

The one caveat to that is if you do go that route you will want to make sure the judgement is reportable to her credit history. So at least if she goes to buy a house, car, etc. it will now cause her problems.

I would send a copy of the 3×5 card w/ a letter explaining that you did this in good faith, wanted to help, have fallen on hard times, etc. i.e. try to guilt her into paying you back.

If you get no response, I would contact her by phone w/ the same guilt trip attempt.

If that doesn’t work (keeping in mind it is less and less likely at this point that you will get the money), I would not be the least bit shy about sharing the misdeed with mutual friends, family, etc. when you are next in town or by phone etc. It sounds malicious and frankly, it is. You will have to decide for youself just how far you want to go w/ this….

I learned this lesson the hard way, too. I have held the opinion for over 20 years now, that any money I “loan” someone is immediately written off in my head as a “gift”. I just won’t loan money, unless I can afford to never see it again.

In your case, I like Snoopy’s guilt method…it just may work.

This woman isn’t a crook, she’s just ignoring something she doesn’t want to deal with. Assuming she’s now employed she can pay you back if she wants to – she just needs to stop buying espresso drinks or going out to dinner for a while. A call saying “hey there, you borrowed that money, and now I’m in a bind and need it back. I’ll even cancel the $5/month in late fees we agreed to, but that $400 in the mail would do a lot of good” should do the trick. If not, there’s the next call saying “hey, I hate to take it there, but I do have a signed agreement from you agreeing to give me my money back and I’m getting ready to use it if you don’t at least come up with a plan to pay me.” If that still doesn’t do it, the next call is in the form of her being served papers.

Yay kfinger. I’ll elaborate, because I forgot to “Check my work, then… Answer!” before kf wrote the above.

Step One: tell her what you told us: your situation isn’t too good, so you’re turning to her. Speak as if you’re confident she can give you a hand, exactly like you gave her a hand. Talk as if you’re confident that she’ll understand this.

If this doesn’t produce results, move on to:

Step Two: If you have mutual friends, say you’ve told some of them the story, and all of them want to know who the borrower is. Say you haven’t told them – you believe she’ll pay up – but in good conscience you feel you should protect them from being scammed by her if she doesn’t. In this way, you’re offering her something in exchange for the money she owes you. In case she’s a sociopath, this makes her feel like she got something from you and she’ll like that. (You can tell them all later anyway; you owe her nothing.)
Set a timeline: e.g. a week. She doesn’t get to negotiate on the timeline. Remember, she can always borrow the money from someone else if she doesn’t happen to have it on hand. Don’t give her any wiggle room at all.

If this produces no action, proceed to:

Step Three: Ask everyone you both know to speak to her in your behalf. She can try to save face by claiming she meant to do it, thought she had done it, etc. She must be challenged to prove it. She won’t be able to. Keep the mutual friends in the loop. The chance exists that you’re not the only person she’s borrowed money from. Everyone should get interested.

Step Four: Small claims court could be effective if you know where she works, because after you get the judgment (which you will), you may be able to garnish her wages. I don’t know what it would cost you to do this. Find out. Telling her you’re willing to pay for whatever this might cost would be worrisome for her – no one wants their employer to know they’re a deadbeat. Possibly you can also be awarded your legal costs. If so, tell her.

Small claims is something you could do without going through the previous steps, but I think a decent guy who calls himself “trustinglife” can benefit from the exercise of taking back power.

It’s very important not to get emotional with her. She has ethical problems; you’re offering to help her clear those up. But escalate. Start with small threats (you MUST threaten her – she doesn’t respond to pleas) and go on to big ones.

I don’t recommend chalking it up to experience till you’ve tried everything else. It’s humiliating to accept abuse. Even if you never get the full payment, you need
to learn how to put pressure on miscreants.

Lastly: what a shithead she is! I want to hurt her! But I’m going to let you do it.

God, I love all your answers. Thanks people.

You’re giving me all kinds of ideas and courage. I’m going to move up from e-mails and give her a call. Time to call in this loan. Susan, you’re totally right – it’s humiliating to take abuse like this. I’ll try to do it without getting emotional. Starting small, work up from there. We don’t have mutual friends that I know of, but we shared a small community, and I do have big social leverage. Hope I won’t have to call that in.

Thanks y’all. Will keep you posted.

Go get ‘em, Trusting!

If you are hurting now, it’s likely she is hurting too. But a debt is a debt, and she needs to hold her end of it. Write her a letter (perhaps have it postmarked or fed-exed and signed for so you can be sure she got it), include the document copy, reiterated your attempts at contact, explain that you would like to work with her and salvage your friendship but at this point you feel like your generosity is being taken advantage of. State that if she needs to work out a new payment schedule, you may be willing to consider it as long as it is fair to you, and while you understand that everyone is going through hard times right now you lent to her in the first place based on the merit of her character.

I had a similar situation once that was only resolved (after the above) when I threatened to pursue it legally, AND call their parents to see if they would vouch for the debt.

Fantastic idea, nocountry. Hmmmmm… going to a conference this weekend, will decide next week.